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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be surprised my health visitor asked this

222 replies

110APiccadilly · 08/02/2023 22:30

DD2 has just had her 6 month check. The health visitor went through a list of questions, mostly stuff I'd expect, but one was whether I was up to date on my smear test. I was surprised as I thought these appointments were about DD rather than me.

Apart from anything else, isn't it a bit sexist to assume they're going to see the mum rather than the dad? DH took DD1 to her 15 month check as he was her primary carer (I was the main earner) at that point. Bet he didn't get asked whether he'd had a prostrate exam recently.

OP posts:
TortolaParadise · 08/02/2023 23:40

110APiccadilly · 08/02/2023 22:30

DD2 has just had her 6 month check. The health visitor went through a list of questions, mostly stuff I'd expect, but one was whether I was up to date on my smear test. I was surprised as I thought these appointments were about DD rather than me.

Apart from anything else, isn't it a bit sexist to assume they're going to see the mum rather than the dad? DH took DD1 to her 15 month check as he was her primary carer (I was the main earner) at that point. Bet he didn't get asked whether he'd had a prostrate exam recently.

I get this totally. Slightly off topic but it always baffles me why maternity posts are advertised as maternity posts. A pregnant person may not want the world to know of their pregnancy. Why can't the post just be advertised a 'one year contract' for example? I find the 'announcement' somewhat dated and intrusive. Slightly off the point I know.

WingingItSince1973 · 08/02/2023 23:40

GinIronic · 08/02/2023 23:26

Why is the HV asking this question? Is it so that the HV can tick one of her boxes to satisfy a local policy or target? Where does this information go? Who reads it or has access to it? If the information just sits in a file and kept in a filing cabinet - what is the point of the information gathering? If she was genuinely concerned about her patients health and screening history - the HV has access to medical records of everyone in her care - so the question doesn't need to be asked - the HV should know the answer.

Is this a joke? You do realise how many people the HV will have to see. To check everyone's individual medical records and make a note of their last smear is such a waste of everyone's time when a simple question and answer could suffice. Why are people so scared of things like this?

Skodacool · 08/02/2023 23:43

It’s prostate not prostrate

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:44

TortolaParadise · 08/02/2023 23:40

I get this totally. Slightly off topic but it always baffles me why maternity posts are advertised as maternity posts. A pregnant person may not want the world to know of their pregnancy. Why can't the post just be advertised a 'one year contract' for example? I find the 'announcement' somewhat dated and intrusive. Slightly off the point I know.

Show quote history

So they know that someone is coming back into the role rather than being a ‘test it out on a temporary contract’ role.

A woman I worked with once was pregnant and she was a bit like the OP, perpetually offended and thinking everyone was getting at her. She didn’t want anyone knowing she was pregnant, she said she was taking a ‘career break’ and we all basically had to ignore her massive baby bump. Then she brought the baby into the office after it was born! Asked us all if we wanted to hold it. I remember my colleague saying ‘shall we pretend we can’t see the baby’ 😂

I just don’t get what the big secret is.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 08/02/2023 23:44

TortolaParadise · 08/02/2023 23:40

I get this totally. Slightly off topic but it always baffles me why maternity posts are advertised as maternity posts. A pregnant person may not want the world to know of their pregnancy. Why can't the post just be advertised a 'one year contract' for example? I find the 'announcement' somewhat dated and intrusive. Slightly off the point I know.

Show quote history

It's because someone on maternity leave may come back after 6/9/8 whatever months not take the full year and making it a maternity posts means you can cut the contract of the cover once the original employee returns. It allows for flexibility in a way that is transparent to the cover staff

StressedToTheMaxxx · 08/02/2023 23:45

"Apart from anything else, isn't it a bit sexist to assume they're going to see the mum rather than the dad?"

Well if it's only Dad present at the health check, then they obviously aren't going to ask him the question about the smear test, are they?

As above, the HVs remit is the mum as well as the baby.

It sounds like you're just looking for an issue to be honest.

Fuckityfuckfuck123 · 08/02/2023 23:46

Part of why they ask is many women actually miss a smear test whilst pregnant.

The HV is pretty involved in parents health.
My HV has been quite involved in ensuring I've had the mental health help that I've needed, and has been really good about checking if DHs MH is good and if there's anything she can chase up, or help with.

Really seems like you're trying to find fault where your HV is being helpful.

Wetblanket78 · 08/02/2023 23:49

Health visitor is post partum as well. My health visitor asked if I was doing my pelvic floor excerices after Ds. After DD she dropped me some iron tablets off as my hemoglobin was low in hospital. I didn't want to wait around for a script so she dropped them off for me the next day. Saved me taking a newborn out the house in icy conditions. She also gave me a lift to ds community pediatrician assessment two weeks after birth of DD for pathway to diagnosis.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:50

I think a lot of people don’t realise HVs are qualified nurses and now just random ladies with a clipboard

2023forme · 08/02/2023 23:52

@110APiccadilly the smear test programme is one of the things GP practices can acquire extra money through so it is a test that is “pushed” to an extent.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/114086.stm

HVs have a legal obligation to visit infants until a certain point but the “care” of the mother is by invitation/consent ie you can say you don’t want her to be concerned about your health,but not that of your baby, if that makes sense ?

I’m a bit of an old cynic but I couldn’t get too worked up about it to be honest

kitcat15 · 08/02/2023 23:52

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:50

I think a lot of people don’t realise HVs are qualified nurses and now just random ladies with a clipboard

Most are now qualified to masters level….they are also have a prescribing qualification

BurtonsRevenge · 08/02/2023 23:56

110APiccadilly · 08/02/2023 22:44

To be clear, I was surprised. Not offended.

I think it would be good if they were clearer about who the appointment is for. If it's for mum and baby, then say so. I was surprised because I thought it was just about DD.

Dear me.
It's public health. It's for your own good. Please don't complain about people looking out for your own health and instead feel lucky that the NHS can still offer this service.

Nowthenhere · 08/02/2023 23:59

I would be asking where that information is being recorded.

The health visiting team record data on your children and that stays on your children's record. The record then gets passed about depending on the child's age.

Wonder what other information about mums is being recorded under a child's record for everyone who works with children (schooling and health) to access?

What would happen if you declined to share that information with them because you are going through birth trauma/were sexually assaulted etc before and it's an extremely triggering question?

MotherOfHouseplants · 09/02/2023 00:02

Skodacool · 08/02/2023 23:43

It’s prostate not prostrate

I suppose if you lie flat on your front it can be both.

TortolaParadise · 09/02/2023 00:08

Forgooodnesssakenow · 08/02/2023 23:44

It's because someone on maternity leave may come back after 6/9/8 whatever months not take the full year and making it a maternity posts means you can cut the contract of the cover once the original employee returns. It allows for flexibility in a way that is transparent to the cover staff

Show quote history

This makes sense....but it still seems like an overshare. Off the point I know but a random thought that sometimes enters my idle mind.

Funkyblues101 · 09/02/2023 00:09

110APiccadilly · 08/02/2023 22:44

To be clear, I was surprised. Not offended.

I think it would be good if they were clearer about who the appointment is for. If it's for mum and baby, then say so. I was surprised because I thought it was just about DD.

Mothers not having smear tests means more mother's dying of cervical cancer which would have a pretty big impact on a child (even if they are not the primary carer; even if they are the major wage earner, before you object), so in that sense the question is about your DD.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/02/2023 00:10

I would be asking where that information is being recorded

On your personal NHS record... FFS.

TortolaParadise · 09/02/2023 00:11

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 23:44

So they know that someone is coming back into the role rather than being a ‘test it out on a temporary contract’ role.

A woman I worked with once was pregnant and she was a bit like the OP, perpetually offended and thinking everyone was getting at her. She didn’t want anyone knowing she was pregnant, she said she was taking a ‘career break’ and we all basically had to ignore her massive baby bump. Then she brought the baby into the office after it was born! Asked us all if we wanted to hold it. I remember my colleague saying ‘shall we pretend we can’t see the baby’ 😂

I just don’t get what the big secret is.

Show quote history

Laughing out loud! 😅I would so have joined in with that!

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 09/02/2023 00:16

I can't get offended over a health visitor asking a question that could save a life. And you know, the Mother being the one who did the pregnancy and birthing is more likely to be the one present. I'm sure Father's being at the appointment are the exception. Out of all the parents I know including my own Dad and son's Dad I know none of them got involved in this, they can just about remember their children's birthdays nevermind important medical info. One reason why I was so insisted on my son having my surname as i knew it would be me doing all the form filling and health appointments.

ReedRite · 09/02/2023 00:19

I’d have been surprised at that too, OP. As the appointment is for the baby. Not sure why they would would hone in only on smear tests and not ask about other preventative health stuff.

Summerfun54321 · 09/02/2023 00:19

There's no need to ponder the ifs and buts of if a man turned up to a baby health check almost exclusively attended by women. We just don't need to be that inclusive anymore, it's 2023.

You'll have been asked as someone in the NHS saw women were missing smears around pregnancy and it was decided the baby health checks were a useful time to remind them.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 09/02/2023 00:20

ReedRite · 09/02/2023 00:19

I’d have been surprised at that too, OP. As the appointment is for the baby. Not sure why they would would hone in only on smear tests and not ask about other preventative health stuff.

They do. They ask mums if they smoke and offer smoking cessation, among other things.

snowlady4 · 09/02/2023 00:21

Probably just using the opportunity as a healthcare professional to encourage regular screening. My GP always asks me if I'm upto date on any occasion we talk on phone or have appointment- just routine I'd say.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 09/02/2023 00:27

@ReedRite

They did ask me other health related stuff. And it only ever came in a friendly tone- And how's your own health, any medical issues, upto date with smears, any MH issues you want to talk about, etc etc. It's not wrong to be concerned for the health of a new Mum.

kitcat15 · 09/02/2023 00:29

Nowthenhere · 08/02/2023 23:59

I would be asking where that information is being recorded.

The health visiting team record data on your children and that stays on your children's record. The record then gets passed about depending on the child's age.

Wonder what other information about mums is being recorded under a child's record for everyone who works with children (schooling and health) to access?

What would happen if you declined to share that information with them because you are going through birth trauma/were sexually assaulted etc before and it's an extremely triggering question?

They would say ‘no problem’ ….next question ….WTF is wrong with people on this thread🙄