Page 6 | To be surprised my health visitor asked this

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 09/02/2023 00:35

As unpleasant and triggering as smears are, respectfully, the treatment that could follow if cancer lay undetected and grew would be far more invasive and traumatic. If you have issues over smears then get counselling and find a way around it. No they aren't compulsory but they are life saving. I vividly remember Jade Goody dying in the media and still get upset around Mother's Day.
Nowadays they also only take further action if both abnormal cells are found plus HPV reducing a lot of unnecessary treatment.

hailer · 09/02/2023 01:15

110APiccadilly · 08/02/2023 22:44

To be clear, I was surprised. Not offended.

I think it would be good if they were clearer about who the appointment is for. If it's for mum and baby, then say so. I was surprised because I thought it was just about DD.

Second your pregnant every appointment is mum and baby. Delivery supports mum and baby. And after care is mum and baby. At 6 months a happy baby os a happy family. It's great that your getting decent care

Confusion101 · 09/02/2023 06:25

Slimjimtobe · 08/02/2023 22:51

do you realise how thoughtless this question is ? In my Ireland we have had a huge cervical check scandal
the public nurse had your care at interest

so you say it’s sexist? That’s so wierd

👏👏👏 Well said!

OP you said you were surprised, not offended, but have asked if it is sexist... Surely if you find something sexist you are offended by it!? Either way YABVU!! No it's not sexist that a public health professional would look out for the health of a mother. I can't even comprehend your thought process behind this one!

BMrs · 09/02/2023 06:35

Because she cares about your health?!

What a b*tch! 😂

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 09/02/2023 06:36

Some people will find anything to be offended by.

20viona · 09/02/2023 06:43

Get a grip of course they dont ask the father about smear tests!

HappyFannyPetrow · 09/02/2023 06:43

Women die of cervical cancer and new mums are a prime group to miss out on their routine smear. Can you really not see how this prompt might save lives? To be even vaguely offended about this is ludicrous. Just be grateful you have a thorough, caring HV.

Dogcafedreamer · 09/02/2023 06:50

ReedRite · 09/02/2023 00:19

I’d have been surprised at that too, OP. As the appointment is for the baby. Not sure why they would would hone in only on smear tests and not ask about other preventative health stuff.

You're kidding right? You can't see why they asked the mother about a smear test, something that can't be done when pregnant so likely to be late now?

You also don't think they ask a generic, how are things with you?

The OP honed in on this, because she thinks it's sexist, pretty laughable but that's why she honed in on it.

You're being obtuse.

HikingforScenery · 09/02/2023 06:54

110APiccadilly · 08/02/2023 22:44

To be clear, I was surprised. Not offended.

I think it would be good if they were clearer about who the appointment is for. If it's for mum and baby, then say so. I was surprised because I thought it was just about DD.

You’re not offended by sexism? If you thought it was sexiest, then surely you were offended? Just own it.

Just think that by asking these questions, they could potentially be saving lives by reminding those who have forgotten their smears.

Wrongsideofpennines · 09/02/2023 07:00

I wouldn't be surprised at all. Our health visitor also asked about my partner's mental health and provided some specific resources for dads.

I think perhaps the issue is you don't know what health visitors do and think they are there just for the child. Perhaps have a read about their role and then you won't be surprised by their questions next time. Tommy's page is useful : www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/after-birth/what-health-visitor

SecondtimeMama29 · 09/02/2023 07:08

I think it's amazing she asked you. You have no idea how many women have had cervical cancer and didn't realise because of no symptoms having usually missed a smear because of TTC, pregnancy or having a young baby.

You only need to listen to one of the latest made by mammas podcast episodes on parenting with cervical cancer.

She is fulfilling her duty of care. What a brilliant HV!

SecondtimeMama29 · 09/02/2023 07:10

HappyFannyPetrow · 09/02/2023 06:43

Women die of cervical cancer and new mums are a prime group to miss out on their routine smear. Can you really not see how this prompt might save lives? To be even vaguely offended about this is ludicrous. Just be grateful you have a thorough, caring HV.

THIS.

🙌🏼

newnamethanks · 09/02/2023 07:12

When your husband gets uterine cancer please let us know. Until then, I refer you to the Daily Mail. Plenty of non-events in that for you to whinge about.

TrinnySmith · 09/02/2023 07:13

I would guess that stats are behind due to covid lockdown

SecondtimeMama29 · 09/02/2023 07:13

Nowthenhere · 08/02/2023 23:59

I would be asking where that information is being recorded.

The health visiting team record data on your children and that stays on your children's record. The record then gets passed about depending on the child's age.

Wonder what other information about mums is being recorded under a child's record for everyone who works with children (schooling and health) to access?

What would happen if you declined to share that information with them because you are going through birth trauma/were sexually assaulted etc before and it's an extremely triggering question?

Oh my fucking god.

Jobsworth.

Beansontoast45 · 09/02/2023 07:19

Why would you care or be shocked. So many woman do not have regular smears. I was at my GP a few months ago for something unrelated and she mentioned I was due a smear, I booked it on my way out because of her prompt.

Castle8 · 09/02/2023 07:20

110APiccadilly · 08/02/2023 22:30

DD2 has just had her 6 month check. The health visitor went through a list of questions, mostly stuff I'd expect, but one was whether I was up to date on my smear test. I was surprised as I thought these appointments were about DD rather than me.

Apart from anything else, isn't it a bit sexist to assume they're going to see the mum rather than the dad? DH took DD1 to her 15 month check as he was her primary carer (I was the main earner) at that point. Bet he didn't get asked whether he'd had a prostrate exam recently.

Strange thing to be upset about. A health professional is asking about your well being...

Justalittlebitduckling · 09/02/2023 07:34

We didn’t get a six month check, is that a thing? Just a “9-12 month check”.

BeardieWeirdie · 09/02/2023 07:35

I’m very glad my HV used this opportunity to discuss smears and periods with me. I told her that my smear was up to date but I was having irregular mid cycle bleeding that I assumed was down to stopping breastfeeding at 3 and everything readjusting. She insisted that I see my doctor and it was identified that I had polyps and 3 large ovarian cysts that required open surgery. I’m very glad that she brought this up.

mozzyworries · 09/02/2023 07:39

Sorry OP but are being a bit ridiculous and precious.

If it was a man attending the appointment he wouldn't be asked that obviously. Perhaps the health visitor would ask if his partner was up to date on her smear.

I've just been invited for mine but I can't go because I'm 8 months pregnant. I called the surgery to ask what I should do and they told me I'll be asked at my 6 week post-natal check so not to worry.

And anyway, these appointments are not just for baby, they're for you too. To check you're healing properly and doing ok mentally. I even if you're working you should try to attend them.

ThanksItHasPockets · 09/02/2023 07:39

This kind of groundless outrage (or ‘surprise’) is really unhelpful in the wider fight against everyday sexism.

This situation is only sexist if you think it is sexist that the vast majority of new mothers have cervixes, some of which will become cancerous. If that’s your opinion then crack on but I don’t quite know where to suggest you direct your complaint. Perhaps try your local place of worship or university department of biological anthropology.

ThreeblackCats · 09/02/2023 07:40

ODFOD!
I bet you were also deeply “surprised” when the newspapers were running stories on young mums dying of cervical cancer but being deemed too young for smears?

Goady post, not really going to help anyone. But enjoy your faux rage op.

Hiddenvoice · 09/02/2023 07:47

You are being unrealistic here. She is a health professional whose duty of care is you and your baby. She would have previously asked about your maternal mental health too.
If the dad was there then she wouldn’t have asked, but she may have asked the dad how you are getting on. No one has specifically said the appointments must have the mother there but I assume the health visitors imagine both parents or mum will be there if they can.
I don’t see why it’s a big deal. Either you are or you’re not up to date with your smear. If you are then great, I’d not then they’d say try arrange an appointment when you can. It’s not nosey, it’s not sexist, it’s just a professional looking after your health and well-being as well as your baby.

grumpycow1 · 09/02/2023 07:51

YABVU - it would be unusual at the 6 month check for mother not to be present, most are still on Mat leave (yes not all). It’s a good time to flag about smears as it can be easily missed after having a baby. I assume if it was only the dad they would slip the question 🙄

booboo24 · 09/02/2023 08:21

What?!!!! If the dad was there instead of mum she would surely just have left that question out! If that's all you've got to worry about you're doing well