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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not cooking my teenager dinner

520 replies

Ohdesr · 08/02/2023 21:57

So I am really trying to use everything we have in the house before shopping for more.
today i made homemade tomato soup and garlic bread. My teen complained its not filling enough so they dont want that.
Cue her complaining for the next hour that she is starved, i gave her a list of things she could eat, tuna pasta, tuna mayo jacket potato, omelette, pesto pasta, even cereal.

She has now gone off in a strop because i wont go to the shop to buy her something saucy (?!) she hasnt eaten because nothing sounds nice. And now she’s gotten her dad involved saying i am starving her. Ahhhh

OP posts:
tulips27 · 09/02/2023 06:58

I think YABU, soup isn't a substantial enough meal for a growing young person by any means.

Original poster
Ohdesr · 09/02/2023 07:08

She’s 16 and the soup had tomatoes onions red lentils cream garlic and then i made the garlic bread from scratch with cheese on the top. Nothing was from a can but thanks for your pointless input.

She also like some people have mentioned didnt eat it because it wasnt enough. Id understand if that was the only thing to eat in the house. She has been stomping around downstairs and eaten porridge, toast and we just had a whisper disagreement that making a smoothie will wake everyone up. She has survived

OP posts:
Nosleepforthismum · 09/02/2023 07:25

Honestly OP your soup sounds lovely and am eying up some sad tomatoes in the fridge in inspiration. Ignore the posters who are trying to slate soup as not being a proper meal. We regularly have homemade soup and toast as part of my weekly meal plan and my DH is a builder who has very physical days. Never had any complaints.

Glad you stuck to your guns, sounds like she was just being a dramatic teen who didn’t fancy soup. We’ve all been there but I presume she survived the night 😅

Justalittlebitduckling · 09/02/2023 07:42

She can’t eat something that’s not filling enough because she’s too hungry? What a brat.

BethDuttonsTwin · 09/02/2023 07:46

Tomato and lentil soup sounds miserable for dinner tbh - unless accompanied by a huge grilled cheese sandwich to dip in! I’d not be enthusiastic about that either.

Original poster
Ohdesr · 09/02/2023 07:57

luck i made cheesy garlic bread! It was delicious probably all the cream in the soup. It definitely was not miserable.

OP posts:
lifeinthehills · 09/02/2023 07:59

Tomato and lentil soup, with cheesy garlic bread, is plenty filling enough. Maybe add some eggs. It's quite reasonable for her to forage for alternatives at her age, if she doesn't like what is on offer.

zurala · 09/02/2023 08:00

To reply to people quoting me, soup isn't enough for dinner because it's not enough calories, in my opinion, as it's generally a light meal. I would prefer not to have to eat loads of bread to feel full, I'd rather have plenty of veg and pulses.

I'm a big fan of homemade soup for a lunch, but I wouldn't eat it for dinner unless I was on my own and had had a big lunch, which is why I think the OP is unreasonable in serving it as an evening meal, especially to a teenager.

I'm definitely not someone who thinks a "big salad" is filling so please don't conflate those people with my opinion. I just don't think soup has enough calories to be filling enough for an evening meal, it's basically veg and water.

zurala · 09/02/2023 08:02

Nosleepforthismum · 09/02/2023 07:25

Honestly OP your soup sounds lovely and am eying up some sad tomatoes in the fridge in inspiration. Ignore the posters who are trying to slate soup as not being a proper meal. We regularly have homemade soup and toast as part of my weekly meal plan and my DH is a builder who has very physical days. Never had any complaints.

Glad you stuck to your guns, sounds like she was just being a dramatic teen who didn’t fancy soup. We’ve all been there but I presume she survived the night 😅

Is your husband eating half of Gregg's at lunchtime though? I was amazed at how much our builders ate in the day, and mostly unhealthy pastry related stuff for breakfast and lunch, so I'm not surprised if they would then have a light dinner. Most people don't eat like that in the day though, and teens are notorious for eating a lot as they are growing so much.

Bbq1 · 09/02/2023 08:03

jtaeapa · 08/02/2023 22:01

I do have to add that if I offered some tomato soup to my two strapping teens for dinner after a hard day (boy/girl), then there would be a serious problem Grin. They would start eating anything they could get their hands on.

Yeah. My ds is 17 and is very slim but he loves a good meal - casserole, roast, spag bol etc. If I served up tomato soup as a main meal especially after he had been out at college all day, he would think I'd lost the plot!

Original poster
Ohdesr · 09/02/2023 08:05

Again my question was not is this a substantial meal. My daughter didnt look at the soup and go not enough calories so i wont eat that. she was just being picky and didnt want to eat anything.

Side note i do think a soup with butter, cream lentils and bread with cheese on is plenty of calories

OP posts:
Tirednest · 09/02/2023 08:11

Tomato soup would not be enough for my dd16. She is very active. Pasta with a tomato sauce and lots of cheese would have been OK for her.

Occasionally I do soup as a meal but it has lots of veg, cannelini beans and pasta in it.

I deal with teens not wanting what I've cooked by having pasta, tomatoes and cheese, or wraps hummus and salad available at all times and she'll make herself that.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 09/02/2023 08:14

I would try empathising with her and talking to her... "I get it... it's hard when you're hungry and craving something and it's not available. I get that. I don't think it's fair I cook a meal from scratch and then get asked to go to the shop to buy something different. Maybe we can look at some meal ideas that I can make in future that you'll like more, and in the meantime when you don't like what I cook what will your fallback plan be? Sandwich?

Or tell her grow up a bit? She was offered alternatives and decided against them. She didnt need pandering to ffs

lifeinthehills · 09/02/2023 08:15

zurala · 09/02/2023 08:00

To reply to people quoting me, soup isn't enough for dinner because it's not enough calories, in my opinion, as it's generally a light meal. I would prefer not to have to eat loads of bread to feel full, I'd rather have plenty of veg and pulses.

I'm a big fan of homemade soup for a lunch, but I wouldn't eat it for dinner unless I was on my own and had had a big lunch, which is why I think the OP is unreasonable in serving it as an evening meal, especially to a teenager.

I'm definitely not someone who thinks a "big salad" is filling so please don't conflate those people with my opinion. I just don't think soup has enough calories to be filling enough for an evening meal, it's basically veg and water.

With the inclusion of lentils, cream and the side of bread and cheese. it will be plenty of calories.

ButtOutBobsMum · 09/02/2023 08:20

Ohdesr · 09/02/2023 08:05

Again my question was not is this a substantial meal. My daughter didnt look at the soup and go not enough calories so i wont eat that. she was just being picky and didnt want to eat anything.

Side note i do think a soup with butter, cream lentils and bread with cheese on is plenty of calories

Totally agree OP. DS16 pulled a similar stunt a couple of weeks ago. I just said "that's fine love-help yourself to whatever you'd prefer from the freezer". He decided to make himself a fish finger sandwich and then burnt his fish fingers! So he had toast and cereals instead. Funnily enough he's not complained about his dinner since then 😏

ArcticSkewer · 09/02/2023 08:23

I get hangry sometimes - then I can't eat at all, like I go past a point of no return.

There's absolutely no way I would dish up tomato soup and expect any kind of thanks or praise, but I'd know that in advance (and not cook it for them).

Presumably your children usually love a bowl of soup for tea. In which case I'd say, she's 16, GCSE year, probably just stressed about something else and this is the safe outlet.

hryllilegur · 09/02/2023 08:24

Who cares whether it’s substantial enough?

Eating what’s on offer will always be more substantial than sulking, eating nothing and then complaining you’re starving.

I cannot believe that people think the OP should have gone to the shop to buy a stroppy, ungrateful teenager something different for dinner. Anyone doing that is not setting their child up for life in the real world at all.

Tirednest · 09/02/2023 08:25

hryllilegur · 09/02/2023 08:24

Who cares whether it’s substantial enough?

Eating what’s on offer will always be more substantial than sulking, eating nothing and then complaining you’re starving.

I cannot believe that people think the OP should have gone to the shop to buy a stroppy, ungrateful teenager something different for dinner. Anyone doing that is not setting their child up for life in the real world at all.

Except in the real world you can choose what to eat for dinner.

hryllilegur · 09/02/2023 08:26

In the real world you choose what to eat if you buy the ingredients and cook your own dinner.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/02/2023 08:29

Tirednest · 09/02/2023 08:25

Except in the real world you can choose what to eat for dinner.

Show quote history

In the real world you eat what you're given until comes a time you can pay for and cook food yourself

hryllilegur · 09/02/2023 08:29

You don’t throw a massive strop and demand that someone else caters to your every whim.

All these people who think it’s fine for their teenagers to treat them (or anyone else who has cooked for them) that way… really?

That is just being an ungrateful brat.

OriGanOver · 09/02/2023 08:32

I have teens and I make the tomato soup with cheese toasties or garlic bread if I have tomatoes and veg to use up. If they're hungry later they can have toast/cereal/yoghurt/fruit to fill them up.

You're nicer than me OP as you feel guilty. I wouldn't have felt the slightest shred of guilt.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 09/02/2023 08:32

PSNonsense · 09/02/2023 05:52

Bonkers. All the options given were fine. If she was hungry she would've eaten some, if not all of them.

No wonder there are so many entitled indulged teens walking about gauging from the answers on here.

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Mine aren’t entitled or indulged - but they are well fed!
They are also interested in food and cooking and are pre teens so learning to make simple stuff themselves.
my DH is an excellent cook and would not serve up soup and bread for dinner unless we’d gone out for lunch or something. But people do things differently and that’s fine. I just don’t think it’s indulgent to feed your grumpy teen a proper dinner. It’s just parenting.

Tirednest · 09/02/2023 08:33

I don't let my teens treat me in any way disrespectfully, but I do realise that sometimes people don't fancy what's on offer, and also sometimes teens have strops. I don't tend to let it get to me and just carry on regardless rather than having a strop of my own and demanding that they go hungry. I definitely wouldn't have gone to the shop, but I would have offered alternatives, like the OP, and if she didn't want those I would have finished up in the kitchen and gone to read my book or watch TV. One night of toast and cereal never killed anyone.

hryllilegur · 09/02/2023 08:33

How are these teenagers going to treat their future partners who may have the temerity to cook them something that isn’t exactly what they wanted to eat?

Even if you pay the bills, it’s still rude and ungrateful to treat someone who has cooked for you like that.