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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not cooking my teenager dinner

520 replies

Ohdesr · 08/02/2023 21:57

So I am really trying to use everything we have in the house before shopping for more.
today i made homemade tomato soup and garlic bread. My teen complained its not filling enough so they dont want that.
Cue her complaining for the next hour that she is starved, i gave her a list of things she could eat, tuna pasta, tuna mayo jacket potato, omelette, pesto pasta, even cereal.

She has now gone off in a strop because i wont go to the shop to buy her something saucy (?!) she hasnt eaten because nothing sounds nice. And now she’s gotten her dad involved saying i am starving her. Ahhhh

OP posts:
Endlesslaundry123 · 08/02/2023 23:01

I would try empathising with her and talking to her... "I get it... it's hard when you're hungry and craving something and it's not available. I get that. I don't think it's fair I cook a meal from scratch and then get asked to go to the shop to buy something different. Maybe we can look at some meal ideas that I can make in future that you'll like more, and in the meantime when you don't like what I cook what will your fallback plan be? Sandwich?"

She could also be having a hard day, or getting her period etc. and wants to stuff it down with comfort food. Happens to the best of us. You could ask her if she's needing some comfort food...

sweeneytoddsrazor · 08/02/2023 23:05

Surely she could have had soup followed by jacket potato

RobertaFirmino · 08/02/2023 23:05

I wouldn't offer soup with bread on the side to a teen for their main evening meal, teens are bottomless pits and do need something more substantial. Having said that, there's no reason why she couldn't have done herself something else.

Mariposista · 08/02/2023 23:08

What a spoilt little madam! Ignore her OP, you have offered plenty of options. She is just picking a fight for the heck of it.
Tell her to turn the TV on and look at those poor starving people affected by the earthquake in Turkey/Syria, and get her head out of her arse.

JackieDaws · 08/02/2023 23:09

zurala · 08/02/2023 22:07

Was the soup for dinner? I would only ever eat soup for lunch, it's not enough food for dinner, so YABU, you should have cooked a proper meal.

Why is it not enough food?

Enko · 08/02/2023 23:10

jtaeapa · 08/02/2023 22:01

I do have to add that if I offered some tomato soup to my two strapping teens for dinner after a hard day (boy/girl), then there would be a serious problem Grin. They would start eating anything they could get their hands on.

Really depends on the soup. A can of heinz yes perhaps. However mine who are now late teens early 20s all say the ultimate comfort food is mums tomato soup with bread.

For me I got "Yes!" When the answer to what's for dinner was tomato soup

They have all 4 called from uni to get the recipe.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 08/02/2023 23:28

TBH I don't think soup and garlic bread is enough for dinner. I don't know why, I could probably eat an entire loaf and it still wouldn't feel enough.

BUT - I'd make a toastie or something after if I needed it. I might have kicked off if I was still a teen Grin but YA definitely NBU!

TiaraBoo · 08/02/2023 23:31

But…. Soup is saucy! It’s literally a bowl of sauce!

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 09/02/2023 00:45

Funny how many posters on MN food threads rush to say they would be stuffed on half a lettuce leaf but suddenly when OP is asking soup and garlic bread isn't a "proper" meal Hmm

Wasn't there someone on another thread saying half a can of soup was fine for lunch for 2 or something ridiculous?

Maybe find that one, OP and show your teen Grin

No you're not BU, there were plenty of other filling options and she's just being a dramatic teen.

WiddlinDiddlin · 09/02/2023 04:13

She didn't want what you had on offer because it wasn't EXACTLY what she fancied right that minute, not because it wasn't enough.

Soup and garlic bread can be a dinner, I have that for dinner some days - how filling it is depends very much on:

What else is in the soup (in this case lentils, very filling)
How much garlic bread - one chunk of a small baguette, mm, the whole baguette, yes!
What she'd had for lunch - tiny lunch/no lunch, yeah probably not enough. Huge lunch/recent lunch - probably just fine.

And of course she could have stuck a spud in the microwave, grated some cheese, eaten the soup and garlic bread then had a cheesey baked potato (other toppings appear to have been available).

I have NEVER heard of someone rejecting the entire meal because its 'not enough' - if thats the case, you eat more of it, or add something else.

YANBU - she was being a brat.

hidingbehindascreen · 09/02/2023 04:21

zurala · 08/02/2023 22:07

Was the soup for dinner? I would only ever eat soup for lunch, it's not enough food for dinner, so YABU, you should have cooked a proper meal.

You better call SS on me then..... we often have soup and hot dogs for dinnner!

Pastorswife · 09/02/2023 04:49

My mum wasn’t the best cook, so we had an ‘eggs on toast’ rule in my house growing up. From age 12, me and my sister could cook ourself an egg on toast for dinner if we didn’t like what was on offer. We had to make sure there were eggs and bread in the house (20 min walk up to the corner store which we were responsible for, paid with by coins in the family coin jar) and had to cook and clean up the mess.

Worked like a charm and stopped the teenage stroppiness that can surround meal times. I also have some lovely memories of walking to and from the corner store with my sister, we are still best friends now. My kids are little, but I plan to do the same with them, even though I’m a better cook than my mum was. I’m only 35 BTW so this wasn’t a million years ago!

Pastorswife · 09/02/2023 04:52

hidingbehindascreen · 09/02/2023 04:21

You better call SS on me then..... we often have soup and hot dogs for dinnner!

Show quote history

Soup + cheese toasties are a regular dinner in our house, at least once a week, especially if we’ve had a bigger lunch that day. If we’re still hungry afterwards then we have a yoghurt or some fruit.
Soup is a perfectly acceptable dinner in most parts of the world!

Snoopsnoggysnog · 09/02/2023 05:02

I think YABU, I would offer my DC a bigger and more substantial dinner tbh. I don’t get the responses in this thread at all. Also microwaved jacket potatoes are vile.

OnlyTheWeedsGrow · 09/02/2023 05:28

Why on earth is soup not suitable for dinner? Some people on here are so strange!

WandaWonder · 09/02/2023 05:29

Why can't she go to the shop herself?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/02/2023 05:36

zurala · 08/02/2023 22:07

Was the soup for dinner? I would only ever eat soup for lunch, it's not enough food for dinner, so YABU, you should have cooked a proper meal.

Fucking hell this place 😂 Homemade soup is a proper meal. Ffs.

GrapesOfRoss · 09/02/2023 05:43

Wow, I thought I was an indulgent mum but I wouldn’t dream of going out to the shop to buy more food when my teen had already been offered multiple different meals. Absolutely insane. OP is not running a restaurant.

Also confused by people saying the meal wasn’t big enough as a reason to completely reject it. Surely if it’s not enough you eat it and then eat something else?

OP, yanbu. No wonder so many teens struggle with the adult world if they’re being brought up to have every whim indulged and never to lift a finger themselves. I’m chucking at posters claiming they would cook and serve their teen a meal then go scurrying off to the shop to buy different things if the teen didn’t deem it acceptable, like something from a sitcom.

Frenchfancy · 09/02/2023 05:44

YANBU. You did cook her dinner and offered alternatives.

I wonder why you haven't mentioned age though. A young 13 is very different to 19.

PSNonsense · 09/02/2023 05:52

Snoopsnoggysnog · 09/02/2023 05:02

I think YABU, I would offer my DC a bigger and more substantial dinner tbh. I don’t get the responses in this thread at all. Also microwaved jacket potatoes are vile.

Bonkers. All the options given were fine. If she was hungry she would've eaten some, if not all of them.

No wonder there are so many entitled indulged teens walking about gauging from the answers on here.

Armless32 · 09/02/2023 05:55

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PSNonsense · 09/02/2023 05:58

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What does this even mean?!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/02/2023 06:06

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Eh? She used up ingredients to make soup. Perfectly acceptable

Lobelia123 · 09/02/2023 06:19

How entitled is she, treating you like some kind of kitchen maid or short order cook, on hand to cook a special meal for her. Your husband needs a swift kick up the backside too. Your meal sounds lovely. Shed be a lot less hungry and definately not 'starving' if she ate it. If shes that desperate for something 'saucy' then she can go out herself and get it and pay for it with her own money. Dont start pandering to this kind of ridiculousness. You are a person and her mother, not her skivvy. She needs a big CTJ moment to shock her out of her fantasy that shes a Kardashian.

Beautiful3 · 09/02/2023 06:35

You gave options, so there's nothing wrong with it. Ignore her. She'll eat when she's really hungry. I always keep noodles and cereal in.the house, for when they won't eat dinner.