For not cooking my teenager dinner

[Ohdesr]

So I am really trying to use everything we have in the house before shopping for more.
today i made homemade tomato soup and garlic bread. My teen complained its not filling enough so they dont want that.
Cue her complaining for the next hour that she is starved, i gave her a list of things she could eat, tuna pasta, tuna mayo jacket potato, omelette, pesto pasta, even cereal.

She has now gone off in a strop because i wont go to the shop to buy her something saucy (?!) she hasnt eaten because nothing sounds nice. And now she’s gotten her dad involved saying i am starving her. Ahhhh

We had sons. As teens they ate a cooked breakfast every school day, followed by 2-course school dinner; came in from school and demolished a whole loaf of bread . jam and a pound of cheese to "hold them" until 6 pm and a very substantial two course dinner. They were all huge, skinny, very active, and ravenous the whole time. Teenage boys have a higher calorie requirement than grown men doing heavy manual labour. Hence the hollow-leg syndrome.

DH and I ate far less than them then, and still do. The hungry wolves are all grown men now, still very sporty and active, and don't eat like they did back then. But their teen sons do.

You really shouldn’t feel bad. Kids get what they’re given and that’s the end of it! They should be grateful they have food at all and parents willing to cook them nutritious meals…

My DC honestly just get whatever I cook and if they don’t want it, they can get some toast or cereal and fruit or something. I wouldn’t cook a separate meal, that’s just ludicrous.

My nearly 16 year old would eat it but then ask what's for dinner and would probably say he was starving all night. I wouldn't realistically be able to give him that alone as it is not enough food for him.

Which is why she could've had something else IF she was still hungry, there were plenty of options

OP sorry I would say soup is not enough for a main meal

Even if this were true, the OP also offered alternatives/additions. So it shouldn’t be a problem if her DD thought the soup wasn’t filling enough. It’s certainly not filling enough if she doesn’t eat it.

Yes, actually just remembered the options, the soup and jacket potato are probably sufficient I think. However, some of us really do have teenagers with a very fast metabolism, it is hardly competitive, it is just fact and if enough people are referencing this about their teenagers it probably has an element of truth. It was the same with my brother and I as teens, my DH and his friends, all really slim but ate loads as teenagers and early 20's. It hasn't remained that way unfortunately particularly in our 40s.

If she was really starving she'd eat. Even if she didn't fancy it. I'm not saying you spoiled her as I can't know but her lifestyle may have, so many choices, always so much available.
I get my son to mealplan with me, write shopping list, etc
Food is never wasted, he cooks under supervision. He totally understands you're not just buying/shopping to feed everyone because you have to think about shelf life, food waste, what's on offer, food allergies, etc

I'm so pleased you have the time and energy to cook a meal for your family every night. Go you!

If anyone I had catered for had the audacity to criticise what they’d been given, I probably would have had an apoplectic seizure of some description.

I’m no chef or housekeeper, you don’t like it, you make yourself something else.

Maybe you could try teaching your kids to have some respect for you?

@Beachbabe1 there’s no need for sarcasm. There are lots of meals that can be prepared quite quickly. That’s a pretty low bar if cooking a meal for your dc is seen as something above and beyond what a parent does.

Actually that's true, I do sometimes have soup and a roll ready for the kids as a quick after school snack. Mine would do the same ... ask what's for tea later on ...

@jtaeapa

“If the shop is round the corner and you have money to buy her something of her choosing, then I suppose YABU“

why do you suppose that?

She 16! She’s an adult she can sort her own tea FFS.
The OP offered a nice meal. It wasn’t what her daughter fancied. She could have eaten something else or gone to the shops.
I lived alone at 16 if I didn’t cook my tea nobody else did.

*I cook a meal for my family every night unless we go out or get a takeaway. My teens don’t yet cook family dinners mainly because they are busy with their studies and I have more time.

It seems to be some people on MN wanting a medal for providing something very simple for their dc ie a cooked meal 🙄*

The OP did cook a meal. She doesn’t want a medal. She just doesn’t want to have to go to the shops to buy her DD more food, just because she doesn’t want the meal provided, or any of the alternatives.

And there’s nothing wrong with expecting your teenagers to cook for themselves sometimes! It’s part of learning/growing up.

@Sssshh

what does count then as an evening meal in your book?

interesting to see peoples odd views as what is acceptable to eat at what time. Again though i was not looking for guidance in regards to what other teens eat, or whether they would eat what was served

I'm finding all this having to give and prepare++ food for teenage children pretty odd to be honest. If they're that ravenous they can feed themselves if they're still hungry. They're not farm animals. I have a teenage son, I make meals but aside from that he often sorts himself out. Dd is older but very petite and quite simply doesn't have a huge appetite. Neither do I. We eat what I would consider average size portions. I must admit to seeing how some British people pile their plates up a bit minging to be honest. Gorging on food like they have no control, particularly at carveries/buffet type places.

1970s bairn who still eats 1970s stylee apparently.

Teen can’t whinge about being starving when there was more than plenty on offer. Sometimes you fancy something else but if it isn’t in, it does no harm to rustle up something else with what you do have.

And I have just cooked soup and bread for tea tonight. A proper, filling, substantial meal. Lovely stuff.

ArcticSkewer absolutely nothing wrong with that! My youngest prefers a picky dinner sometimes! As do I!

On what planet are you actually living?

That’s a pretty low bar if cooking a meal for your dc is seen as something above and beyond what a parent does

Nobody said that cooking a meal for your dc is above what is expected of a parent. But there's nothing wrong with expecting teenagers to make their own meals on occasion, especially if they don't want what has been made by their parents. In fact, I think that if you don't ever expect your kids to sometimes cook their own dinners, or dinners for the family, they won't be able to cook proper meals when they eventually leave home. It's a skill to be learned.

And there is nothing wrong with having a simple snack dinner now and again! They wont die of starvation! When you are ill/tired/home late from work do you still muster the strength to cook everyone a home cooked meal? In this case, the teen is quite able to prepare themselves something.

@Wanderingowl
Oh no, what happens if someone misses the recommended protein quota from one meal?
Absolutely nothing, that's what!!

I'm on a high protein diet but even I would have soup sometimes as a main meal, easy to have some protein afterwards if I need, even as a dessert.

No not U.

I have to say I sniggered at her complaint being its not filling enough. Then having nothing. Nothing is not filling AT ALL.

@LuckySantangelo35 @georgarina I personally don't think cereal, cold pasta or a jacket potato is an evening meal. They sound much more suited to lunch. I'd happily serve a tuna pasta or a jacket potato to my teens for an evening meal as an odd one off here and there if they weren't overly hungry. I'd give them something more substantial if they were hungry. Do you think cereal, cold pasta or a jacket spud is fine every evening? If you read my post, it said if it was the norm I understand where she's coming from, if it wasn't the norm she's being a brat...