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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not cooking my teenager dinner

520 replies

Ohdesr · 08/02/2023 21:57

So I am really trying to use everything we have in the house before shopping for more.
today i made homemade tomato soup and garlic bread. My teen complained its not filling enough so they dont want that.
Cue her complaining for the next hour that she is starved, i gave her a list of things she could eat, tuna pasta, tuna mayo jacket potato, omelette, pesto pasta, even cereal.

She has now gone off in a strop because i wont go to the shop to buy her something saucy (?!) she hasnt eaten because nothing sounds nice. And now she’s gotten her dad involved saying i am starving her. Ahhhh

OP posts:
JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 09/02/2023 12:42

orchid220 · 09/02/2023 12:18

I'm not picking. If there were a lot of lentils, it wouldn't be a soup as it wouldn't be liquid. Anyway, OP isn't even calling it lentil soup. She is calling it tomato soup, suggesting tomato is the main ingredient.

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😆 you’ve got issues, man.

Flowersintheattic57 · 09/02/2023 12:46

When mine were at home, the alternative to any dinner was cheese sandwiches, that included any of their friends. They mostly ate the family dinner and occasional a guest child went home hungry. Gave zero fucks.

LaMereDuChat · 09/02/2023 12:48

YANBU - if she was that hungry she'd eat it.

If your ex is so concerned, will he be dropping nutritionally balanced home cooked meals round every evening for his darling girl?

Worcestershirem0mmy · 09/02/2023 12:58

YANBU. This sounds like the argument I have with my 5 year old and 3 year old weekly!

Beachbabe1 · 09/02/2023 13:00

Why do so many mumsnetters need a homemade substantial meal every night for dinner?? Why is a snacky dinner not enough? Do you really need to eat a large main meal every night of the week?
A snacky dinner is quite suffice some nights of the week especially if child has already had a hot meal at school and if still peckish, have cereal later. Saves Mums time and money!

SamPoodle123 · 09/02/2023 13:00

Oh, this pisses me off. I go through this with my 10 year old quite often. I usually make two meals bc my younger two are picky. Sometimes I make her a meal bc I know she likes it....basically someone always complains. And when I come up with easy alternatives if she does not want to eat our option or the younger kids options she always says no to all. Drives me mad.

2bazookas · 09/02/2023 13:11

Let the podgy little madam go hungry. It will do her good.

Rosscameasdoody · 09/02/2023 13:20

jtaeapa · 08/02/2023 21:59

I suppose it depends how far the shop is and how much money you have.

If the shop is round the corner and you have money to buy her something of her choosing, then I suppose YABU (I would have fridged the soup and eaten it myself tomorrow).

However, if the shop is far enough to be a nuisance and you are short, then YANBU.

Why should the OP make a special journey for something of her DDs own choosing, given that the idea is to use up what’s there before shopping again ? It’s not really about the money or the journey, it’s about the fact that DD has been offered several perfectly acceptable alternatives and has refused them all because she wants something specific. It’s also about teaching her how to budget and economise. There’s food in the house, she’s not going to starve and when she realises she has no alternative, she’ll probably eat what’s available. It’s a good lesson IMO.

CM1897 · 09/02/2023 13:20

zurala · 08/02/2023 22:07

Was the soup for dinner? I would only ever eat soup for lunch, it's not enough food for dinner, so YABU, you should have cooked a proper meal.

🤯

Does it matter if you have soup for lunch or dinner? You can have a larger meal at lunchtime and have something small for dinner, what is the difference. Plus she offered her teen other meals and she still refused. Some people pander to their children too much

Rosscameasdoody · 09/02/2023 13:22

Rosscameasdoody · 09/02/2023 13:20

Why should the OP make a special journey for something of her DDs own choosing, given that the idea is to use up what’s there before shopping again ? It’s not really about the money or the journey, it’s about the fact that DD has been offered several perfectly acceptable alternatives and has refused them all because she wants something specific. It’s also about teaching her how to budget and economise. There’s food in the house, she’s not going to starve and when she realises she has no alternative, she’ll probably eat what’s available. It’s a good lesson IMO.

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Oh and if your ex isn’t prepared to have your back, perhaps he’d like to run to the shop, or better still, cook her something !!

Rosscameasdoody · 09/02/2023 13:22

Rosscameasdoody · 09/02/2023 13:22

Oh and if your ex isn’t prepared to have your back, perhaps he’d like to run to the shop, or better still, cook her something !!

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That’s shouldn’t read ex, it should read DH - sausage fingers !!

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 09/02/2023 13:22

I've fucking heard it all now - gaslighting wtf? - rich homemade soup with lentils and cream and cheesy garlic bread is now the cause of an eating disorder GrinGrinGrin

Seriously batshit and on MN that really is saying something Grin

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 09/02/2023 13:24

Oh and by the way @Wanderingowl you did see the list of alternatives the OP suggested to the poor abused gaslit teen - tuna and baked potatoes and so on? Such a terrible parent she is Grin

Tricky34 · 09/02/2023 13:25

Sounds like teenagers being teenagers! Sure she would have came round eventually or yeah “starve” maybe she could get a portion of your food budget for her own meals & be doing this herself? Teach her some independence & budgeting skills & help her understand what it’s like for you & others x

bendmeoverbackwards · 09/02/2023 13:26

Beachbabe1 · 09/02/2023 13:00

Why do so many mumsnetters need a homemade substantial meal every night for dinner?? Why is a snacky dinner not enough? Do you really need to eat a large main meal every night of the week?
A snacky dinner is quite suffice some nights of the week especially if child has already had a hot meal at school and if still peckish, have cereal later. Saves Mums time and money!

Are you joking about school lunches? The portions are tiny and they eat early, around 12. It’s not enough to constitute a cooked meal for a growing child.

OP sorry I would say soup is not enough for a main meal. Your teen should not have been rude though.

I cook a meal for my family every night unless we go out or get a takeaway. My teens don’t yet cook family dinners mainly because they are busy with their studies and I have more time.

It seems to be some people on MN wanting a medal for providing something very simple for their dc ie a cooked meal 🙄

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 09/02/2023 13:26

If there were a lot of lentils, it wouldn't be a soup as it wouldn't be liquid

The lentil soup I had for lunch yesterday was definitely a liquid as I drank it from a mug rather as opposed to eating it from a plate. If lentil soup isn't liquid then it has too many lentils - thirsty little bastards that they are.

georgarina · 09/02/2023 13:27

Sssshh · 09/02/2023 10:54

I dont think that any of the choices you gave were an evening meal, but having said that they were all food and no one would have gone hungry by maybe eating one of them with some extra snacks. As a one off she was being a brat, as the norm I get her point.

Soup/pasta/baked potato aren't evening meals? What counts as an evening meal then?

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 09/02/2023 13:30

If it isn’t competitive underrating on here, it’s competitive banquet overcatering for the poor little darlings.

Ain't now’t as queer (or contrary) as Mumsnet.

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 09/02/2023 13:31

Either that or everyone is secret lardarses horrified by the prospect of just lentil and tomato creamy soup and a slab of cheesy garlic bread for dinner.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 09/02/2023 13:31

Soup/pasta/baked potato aren't evening meals? What counts as an evening meal then?

Eating it in the evening qualifies in this house. And I've eaten (and drunk) all of the above for evening meal. Not together, obvs, before the carb police wade in.

ArcticSkewer · 09/02/2023 13:32

georgarina · 09/02/2023 13:27

Soup/pasta/baked potato aren't evening meals? What counts as an evening meal then?

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If it's the 1970s then baked potato or soup are great evening meals.

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 09/02/2023 13:33

Theunamedcat · 09/02/2023 11:27

So did her dad feed her then? Or does he just instruct the staff?

I was assuming the Dad doesn't live with them and the teen phoned to moan to her Dad.

ArcticSkewer · 09/02/2023 13:34

We also had cheese on toast as an entire evening meal, or sausage rolls, or sardines on toast.
Followed by angel delight

My kids would think I'd had some kind of brain seizure if I served those up for an evening meal.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 09/02/2023 13:38

ArcticSkewer · 09/02/2023 13:32

If it's the 1970s then baked potato or soup are great evening meals.

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Can you post a copy of this rule that says what is and what isn't an 'evening meal,' please? I think mine got lost in the post and I'd hate to be breaking MN rules about what I can eat after 5pm.

And the evening meals I recall from the 1970s were largely meat and two veg (grandad not being prepared to eat anything more adventurous).