Would this be seen as neglect if they weren’t wealthy?

[Thesesoundsfallintomymindwoowoo]

I know a wealthy family, the Dd is 10 and hasn’t been to school since the start of October due to anxiety and feeling unwell (comes from the anxiety I believe)
They have only recently recruited a tutor for homeschooling, she’s missed months of schooling and did nothing at home.
Parents fly to another country each week for business (take it in turns, both go each time for a couple of days)
No real organisation/schedule in the house, no proper food shops, mainly expensive restaurants or takeaways. Dd hasn’t ever baked (sounds silly but surprised me) isn’t allowed to watch tv without parents etc. Dd has many issues around illness and eating and other things, highly sensitive child, she rarely goes out and has one friend she sometimes sees.
I see this as pretty unhealthy and worry about her and the situation, should I or am I just being nosey and out of order?

I would ring social services and let them decide.

@Thesesoundsfallintomymindwoowoo You are judging, massively, on the grounds that this family is rich, which clearly offends you. You are also sounding ridiculously smug. I was a SAHM for 20 years and did endless crafts, painting, messy play etc because I liked doing that stuff. We didn't bake at all, because M&S bake so that I don't have to.

As with all workplaces, if you don't like it, then leave.

@Chickenly I don’t think there is anything wrong with not having a TV. As I said up the thread, I had a friend growing up who didn’t have a TV and she grew up perfectly well adjusted. My DCs barely watch TV anyway. They are not interested in it.

A lot of kids are anxious now. And how do you know the parents aren't doing what they have been told to do? Perhaps not overload their daughter with activities or friends and allow her to set her own timetable?

I think if she has been so ill with anxiety it maybe school based anxiety it would be difficult to teach her or for her to learn at all. They seem to have not been chased for attendance so it must have been medically authorised. They are now getting a tutor so she must be getting better. We can never know what's really going on looking in from the outside.

I think I'd be angry if my cleaner was posting about my child on here and trying to get other people to judge.

Similar situation but my dc has been out of education for over two years now. We have only recently started a nurture placement which is scheduled for one lesson per week.

It's hard going, you need to fight for scraps, and judgement from other people who don't know the full extend of the issues makes things even harder.

Another one who wants to point out that this is the reality for loads of children with SEN. I’ve been begging the LA, Director for Education, SS etc for a school placement for DS. Zero concern or urgency. DS has also been out of school since October, I definitely never bake, limit screen time and he’s isolated as I’m a lone parent trying to WFH. No one is going to be concerned by your scenario.

You are judging and you asked if would be classed as neglect if they were less wealthy.

A lower income family would not be judged as being neglectful however they may have support from the local authority but I highly doubt they’d be suspected on anything close to neglect.

Nosy. It wouldn't be classed as neglect, questionable parenting in some areas maybe. Mind your own though

This does not constitute neglect imo.

The child is fed/clothed/provided for and parents are in attendance. The child is now getting teaching and presumably medical support if/as needed.

Is it an ideal childhood? No, clearly not due to mental health issues meaning they are not in school. But that doesn't make it neglect of the type that warrants state intervention.

The school will have also already highlighted any concerns or interventions needed, it's not your place to be concerned by what you THINK you know about this child

So there is help in place? Make your mind up

I have a child with high anxiety. My point was what I assume the OP was making, if they were deemed a 'lower' class, SS would already be involved. You are speaking rationally but people judge depending on where you are on the class scale, there wouldn't be the same rationale given. But either way, if you are concerned about a child I wouldn't ignore your gut feeling. Chance that you are wrong but better than being right and not doing anything.

I echo this 100%

My child has been out of school for a similar length of time due to anxiety and SEN. He also can't access any extra curricular clubs etc for same reason.

We have communicated with school, LA, tried all avenues but still too mentally unwell to attend.

Been seeing CAMHS for many months and no further forward.

If I had a friend that I had trusted to divulge this info to and then they started insinuating that I was neglectful, I would absolutely rip them to shreds.

All these things bar the baking and crafts could be/are likely to be a result of her severe anxiety. (and I don't bake with my dc either so can't get upset about that)

Again she likely does not want to do any of these things and found make her worse if parents attempted to push this on her

In what capacity do you work with her & for her to be in your care OP?

It sounds like not a professional one otherwise you would have policies/safeguarding guidelines to follow.

It must be a difficult position to be in then hence your post.

Can you build more of a relationship with her & find out if it’s the anxiety stopping her getting out? If she starts to trust you could you suggest to a parent that she go with you to the local shop (if there is one) or the park or a walk for a short break from being at home & help her to get out?

Does she suffer panic attacks & what contact do you have with the tutor? They may be better placed to make any further recommendations to the parents - as in helping her social education /anxiety management.

Difficult.

I'm shocked at all the horrible responses OP is getting. When there is a child neglect case on the news there are always people who were around that child who could have raised the alarm but didn't. But when someone raises concerns they are told to "keep their beak out of it". I think the situation OP is describing is odd and sad for the child.

People do not care about child neglect when the children have wealthy parents. They just don't. Always all the excuses.

Seems like it. Plenty of wealthy families neglect/abuse their kids.

The Menedez brothers case is just one (high profile) case that comes to mind.

You probably don’t know the whole story. DS’s friend had severe agoraphobia and never left the house. DS and his mates only knew him because his brother went to their school and said that he liked playing x-box so this boy joined in. If you didn’t know the full story you might assume he was being kept in by his parents but the truth was he just refused to leave the house as he was terrified.

If you happen to be the tutor you can do baking and craft with her. Cooking and art is still both done at school I believe.

@sweeneytoddsrazor The tutor is being paid to do certain work. You can't just decide to do cooking instead as a tutor. Can you imagine the response if a parent posted here saying a tutor had been hired to teach maths and english and was instead doing baking and craft activities with the child?