Why does he keep blocking me?

[Babgirl2023x]

I’ll try to keep this short, 2 years ago I was approached by a group of guys whilst I was on my way home, one asked for my Snapchat and I gave it to him because I was single and instantly attracted to him.

when I got home we chatted for a bit but I guess I must of said something he didn’t like because I was quick enough blocked. (Can’t remember what). Anyway about 9 months later he added me on Facebook and told me he had just got out of jail ect…. We started talking again and I actually really started to like him. It was constant conversation I felt like I had known him years.

He asked me what I wanted, I said obviously right not just too take things slow, as I knew he was speaking to other girls at the time as I could see his friends list and he would add about 50+ girls daily. Obviously we was both single and only just started speaking so I wasn’t expecting him to cut everyone off. He didn’t like the fact I said I wanted things to go slow and said that I was obviously sleeping around and he blocked me.

He unblocked me about three days later and message me telling me he missed me, he said to me I need to “ move correctly “ if I wanted to be his girl. We started speaking again for a few days And he was consistent on wanting to stay at my house. But I was wanting to take things slow at this point so I was making up excuses every time he asked. He told me I wasn’t serious so he blocked me for a good couple of months.

I was really confused because he was telling me how much he likes me and how he wants me to be with his girl soon ect… how could he say all that but just block me again?

He added me again about 4 months later and messaged me saying “I’m coming to yours” I told him no because what did he think this was. No contact for so long and then to just message me telling me he was coming to mine. Anyway we spoke on the phone and text for about a week I posted a picture on Snapchat and you could see Clevlage this made him mad and he blocked me.

I messaged him on Facebook telling him to never ever try and contact me again. He ignored that for a bit but soon apologised and we soon started talking and made up. I was round at my friends house having a drink and she told me to invite him over. So I did and he came.

as soon as he seen me he told me I was so beautiful and even better looking in person and that was is it I was his now. He was trying to kiss me and was being all over me as soon as he walked in the door. I was like kind of being shy because I’m not used to that and he said I was all talk and Boring.

every time my friend left the room he would try whipping out his penis and ask me to put it in my mouth. I told him no and that my friend was here he didn’t care. We was drinking and something was said between me and my friend that he didn’t like, he then proceeded to throw a moam sweet in my direction that actually ended up hitting my face.

later that night he ended up staying in the spare room with me and we did end up having sex. But we ended up arguing again after I can’t even remember what over and he told me to never speak to him again.

he left and later on that day I messaged him and apologised we spoke for that day but later that night he literally blocked me. I got my friend to look on his Facebook profile the next day and I seen he had gone into a relationship with someone. Not even 24 hours after being in bed with me I was so angry and hurt by him.

I text him and told him that I knew and that I would never ever forgive him for it. Two months later he had made a new Facebook and added me I seen his friend request and left it sat there for a few days. I was still so hurt by this person but the curiosity and my feelings made me want to accept him and to see what he wanted.

when I accepted him I didn’t message him I waited for him to message me to see what he had to say for him self. He didn’t even try to apologise he just made it out like it was nothing.

somehow we ended up talking again but it felt very different this time, I invited him round to stay the night at my house after talking for about a week. And it was really good like when we met this time it was so much different to the rest we was sat chilling enjoying each other’s company a lot.

he asked me to be his girl but I said to him what’s the point all you do is block me and treat
me like I’m nothing to you. He promised he wouldn’t do that again, and me like an idiot believed him again lol.
everything was good at mine apart from when I was on my phone and he was accusing me of trying to hide it and accuse me of speaking to lads. I don’t know why but I felt like I have to constantly reassure him.

we ended up making a video of us having sex, which I feel so so stupid about because I sent it him. He was saying to me that I’m so sexy and that we should make an only fans account and to give him the password and we share the money 50/50.

anyway when he left in the morning he was asking me to come back that night but I had to go to work. He wasn’t really that bothered by that and we continued to call and text, he was so much quicker now with the replies he would send me paragraphs and message me first now and so much quicker. He was even sending me snaps whilst he was out and in the shower. He never used to reply so quick and frequent before.

I posted a picture on my story on Snapchat a few days later nothing bad, he messaged me and asked me who I was trying to impress.I told him no one and he didn’t speak to me all night he left me on read. I messaged him the next morning like lol hi at least you didn’t block me this time. We spoke for a few more days and he asked me to be his girlfriend like officially this time.

I said yeah and then the next message he asked me was what I was doing?, I told him I was just waiting for my friend to get a taxi and then going to bed. He literally started ringing my phone out but I didn’t answer because I was busy.

he messaged me saying to never ever speak to him ever again in my life, that me and him will never ever ever happen again and that my friend was clearly a lad & then blocked me (this was a week ago).

I was so confused and still am so confused, I know he’s blocked me loads of times before but obviously we never really was anything and met briefly but now that we have had sex and met and actually spent time together and him ask me to be his girlfriend it’s left me so confused and hurt.

two days ago I got added from a Snapchat account from “search”, I never post my Snapchat details anywhere I’m very private.

i accepted it to see who it was and it had no snap score, no bitmoji no nothing. The account was telling me that he lives in the town next to where I am from, how they had me on their old Snapchat and had made a new one and was adding all their old contacts. I kinda of believed it so I said okay and they tried starting a conversation I left them on read and they kept messaging me.

I looked at the account more as the hours went on and the account snap score wasn’t going up. The account was asking me if I had ever been on a night out in Liverpool ( this set alarms of in my head as I was planning a night out in Liverpool with the guy who blocked me). It then started telling me how he wants to lick my bum and have him bum licked. Which is exactly what he was asking me to do to him at mine but I wouldn’t.

the account asked me if I had an only fans and that I should because I’d make loads of money. Something was just telling me this person wasn’t who they said they was. They wouldn’t send me a red Snapchat or a voice note just a saved picture. I told the account if they don’t tell me who they are I’m blocking them.

the account said it would tell me who they are but not to tell anyone and to keep it a secret between us because he’ll get in trouble. This threw me of thinking it was him because why would he get in to trouble. I was watching the way the person was typing to see if it was the same as the way the guy I was seeing typed but it seemed to me like the fake account was purposely trying hard to make their grammar and spelling bad.

the account said that they knew me, that I have met them in person but wouldn’t tell me anything else. I ended up blocking the account but I still feel like it’s him I don’t know, I don’t get why he would do that but I don’t get why anyone else would do that aswell.

I don’t understand why someone if they did want to speak wouldn’t just try to talk to me of their actual account but I don’t understand at the same time why he would make a fake account but have me blocked on his if he did want to talk to me.

I am so confused at the moment, the fake account thing is making me a little bit paranoid as if it isn’t him why would someone go to so much effort to watch me, it feels kind of creepy.

sorry about the long post my brain is just very foggy at the minute and I have all these thoughts and questions I need help getting answers too I know I’ll never get them of him but can’t someone try and paint a picture for me.

I know, I need to stop trying to understand him and learn to understand that he is not healthy for me. There are things I have left out because my post was already hella long, I tried to put the main parts in.

OP, you know the "good" stuff that you keep saying happens when he's on form (albeit I still can't see many pros here and I don't know why calling you in the shower is a good thing, but you do you!) ...there are men out there who do all the "good" things without any of the bad bits.

There are men who are kind, respectful, and loving to their partners; men who have no criminal record and go to work and actually want to see their partners at the end of the day; men who have never shoved their penis in a woman's face or waved a knife around; good men who would all universally agree that your "boyfriend" is a twat.

Really.

Op, I can give you a snapshot of your life if you stay with this guy. You will be an obituary in a newspaper. I'm not even saying this in a flippant way, from what I've read, he will probably end up killing you.

Let that sink in.

Jail and randomly taking his penis out. What a catch!!!

I didn't read it all, but there were enough red flags in the bit I read to make me think this isn't a person I'd want in my life at all. Hope you've successfully moved on with your life Op!

Babgirl, you’ve had some really good advice on here.

Please, please contact the police and ask for a background check. Under ‘Claire’s Law’ you can find out if his previous conviction was to do with his ex girlfriend, and if he has a recorded history of domestic violence. This information may just strengthen your resolve to stay away from him.

Personally, I would cut contact, block and delete his number and move on. Nothing good will come from this ‘relationship’. He sounds dangerous and abusive. Please open your eyes.

If you don't have mental health support please seek mental health support, if you do please reach out. Lots of unhealthy patterns here.

My god, there really is no hope for some people.

How would I go about asking Claire’s law? I know who his ex girlfriend is I have her on Facebook and I have mutual friends in real life with her. But I think the best way to go about it would be to access Claire’s law.

I’ve asked for mental health support I’m just waiting for a response back

If you have him blocked and have no intention of going back to the relationship, why do you need to do this? You have enough evidence of him being an abusive, aggressive arsehole already.

You would need to contact your local police or call 101. If you google your local police & Clare’s Law you should find information.

Google the Freedom Programme by Woman’s Aid. You can do it on line I think.
You need to really examine your thought processes and recognise that he is manipulating you.
He is fucking dangerous OP.

Distract yourself whenever you start to think about him. Don’t think about ‘good’ times with him, think about the sexual abuse, him pulling knives on you and hurting you.

I hope to god you wake up and see this massive shit of a man for what he is.

I’m probably echoing everyone else but I felt I had to add to the general voice of reason here. Please NEVER speak to or communicate with this man again. He is obviously a complete arsehole who has no respect or liking for women. I skim read to the bit where he is encouraging you to do onlyfans…WTF? I’m feel just so sad that the world seems to have regressed to a point where women feel attracted to, and long for men who have a) recently been in prison. B) are knobheads. C) are potential pimps… I could go on. What IS good about this man? I can see zero reasons for you being attracted to him apart from a complete lack of self confidence. It’s all so depressing to hear young women talk this way.

Oh God, I didn’t even hear the bit about pulling knives. You must seek ppps advice - freedom programme and get away from him. I just watched a documentary about Andrew Tate and I was a bit gobsmacked (I’m not on social media), this pathetic excuse for a man sounds similar.

Block him, get an STI test and when you graduate move away for a new start.

Unfortunately if you’re not in a relationship anymore, you’ll probably not be allowed the Clare’s Law disclosure as they’re intended to help you make better decisions about the relationship and whether you want it to continue. They don’t tend to give them if you have separated already and don’t intend to resume the relationship for the same reasons they won’t give it to someone who is a 3rd party (as in if someone rang the police on your behalf and asked for one).

What you can do in terms of the police though, if you felt strong enough to do it, is ask to speak to their Safeguarding department and discuss any potential measures they can help you with for your personal safety. You can also contact places like Cranstoun, Harbour or Women’s Aid for advice and help.

He’s shown you enough proof of abuse - forcing people to do sexual things, physically putting hands on them, being verbally abusive are all awful examples and things no one should have to put up with. He calls you ‘his’ as if you’re a possession and you have to report your movements to him. He wants to move in with you so he can escalate his control and believe me it would get worse.

He then reels you back in with an abrupt block so you’re left thinking it’s your fault and mentally torturing yourself. He gets you that desperate for answers that when he unblocks you again, you snatch the bait because you want those answers and hope it means this time he’s changed.
He will never change and this cycle will be your life with his behaviour escalating in time.

I used to work with offenders for many years so I understand you wanting to see people for who they are. It was my job to do that and treat people with respect and care aside from their crimes but on the other hand, it doesn’t mean I’d ever want to be in a relationship with them or see any qualities that would make me want to be anything other than professional.

I’m glad you’ve been seeking help from uni. What you need to remember is this isn’t your fault. Be kinder to yourself and remember how successful you can be if you keep him away. He will only drag you down.

Unfortunately these people suck you in and look for vulnerabilities to exploit but do so in a ‘nice’ way so you feel you can open up to them and give them the ammo they need.
Take care of yourself.

I also encourage everyone who posts about abuse to also look up Professor Jane Monckton’s timeline of domestic abuse.
Might help clarify the severity of the situation.

I didn't even read your whole thread because 2 paragraphs in it's glaringly obvious - don't talk to this man. Give it up now, no good will come of this.

The fact that after everything this thread has told you, you are still saying things like “if he doesn’t want me, it’s his loss” and his “silence speaks volumes to me” show that you are still letting him be in control.

Whether he wants you or not shouldn’t matter. He doesn’t get to click his fingers and you go running back to that shit. If he messaged you today saying ‘I’m so sorry, you’re so special to me, you’re so beautiful, I’ve never met anyone like you before, you really understand me, we’re meant for each other, we will grow old together’ I have a strong feeling you’d reply. It’s clear from everything you’ve said, you’re just waiting for him to ask.

I listed all the disgusting things you’ve told us he’s said and done. That didn’t include the new detail of pulling a knife. If any man did just one of those things to me, I would be gone. You keep going back for more. The fact you are waiting on his next crumb is very, very sad.

What exactly is your boundary? What’s the line he would have to cross for you to not want him back? A push down the stairs? A punch to the stomach? A black eye? Rape? I’m sorry to say I think this is where it’s headed.

There's not enough fabric in the world to make the number of red flags that are needed for this man. The details here are so lurid and outrageous as to be scarcely believable

That’s why I have requested help with my mental health because You’re right I probably would and I hate to admit that. I don’t think he’ll try to contact me anyway I think he is fully done with me this time. I’m not going to lie it is effecting me a lot, that’s why im hoping he is serious this time and that by me keeping him blocked that he won’t be able to try and worm his way in.

Thankyou, you are so right, if anything this has taught me to very cautious on the sort of person I let into my energy.

But you don't have to let him. You can completely delete him. You can delete your facebook, instagram, snapchat and another way he tries to contact you. He shouldn't be in control here.

The amount of power you've given the absolute loser over you and your life is extremely frustrating. Just please, for your own sake, get a grip and decide to be finished with this toxic waste of space. Please. Find someone else. In fact, almost anyone else is a better bet than this complete arsehole.

He said to me he has 2 methods of making money and that me and him should make an only fans because we would “smash it” and half the money and give him access to the account, password ect. The only fans thing I never really understand because If I was to post a story on my Snapchat, if it was too revealing he would give me so much abuse. But he would be okay with people seeing me naked, I never actually understood that part of it.