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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does he keep blocking me?

360 replies

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 11:21

I’ll try to keep this short, 2 years ago I was approached by a group of guys whilst I was on my way home, one asked for my Snapchat and I gave it to him because I was single and instantly attracted to him.

when I got home we chatted for a bit but I guess I must of said something he didn’t like because I was quick enough blocked. (Can’t remember what). Anyway about 9 months later he added me on Facebook and told me he had just got out of jail ect…. We started talking again and I actually really started to like him. It was constant conversation I felt like I had known him years.

He asked me what I wanted, I said obviously right not just too take things slow, as I knew he was speaking to other girls at the time as I could see his friends list and he would add about 50+ girls daily. Obviously we was both single and only just started speaking so I wasn’t expecting him to cut everyone off. He didn’t like the fact I said I wanted things to go slow and said that I was obviously sleeping around and he blocked me.

He unblocked me about three days later and message me telling me he missed me, he said to me I need to “ move correctly “ if I wanted to be his girl. We started speaking again for a few days And he was consistent on wanting to stay at my house. But I was wanting to take things slow at this point so I was making up excuses every time he asked. He told me I wasn’t serious so he blocked me for a good couple of months.

I was really confused because he was telling me how much he likes me and how he wants me to be with his girl soon ect… how could he say all that but just block me again?

He added me again about 4 months later and messaged me saying “I’m coming to yours” I told him no because what did he think this was. No contact for so long and then to just message me telling me he was coming to mine. Anyway we spoke on the phone and text for about a week I posted a picture on Snapchat and you could see Clevlage this made him mad and he blocked me.

I messaged him on Facebook telling him to never ever try and contact me again. He ignored that for a bit but soon apologised and we soon started talking and made up. I was round at my friends house having a drink and she told me to invite him over. So I did and he came.

as soon as he seen me he told me I was so beautiful and even better looking in person and that was is it I was his now. He was trying to kiss me and was being all over me as soon as he walked in the door. I was like kind of being shy because I’m not used to that and he said I was all talk and Boring.

every time my friend left the room he would try whipping out his penis and ask me to put it in my mouth. I told him no and that my friend was here he didn’t care. We was drinking and something was said between me and my friend that he didn’t like, he then proceeded to throw a moam sweet in my direction that actually ended up hitting my face.

later that night he ended up staying in the spare room with me and we did end up having sex. But we ended up arguing again after I can’t even remember what over and he told me to never speak to him again.

he left and later on that day I messaged him and apologised we spoke for that day but later that night he literally blocked me. I got my friend to look on his Facebook profile the next day and I seen he had gone into a relationship with someone. Not even 24 hours after being in bed with me I was so angry and hurt by him.

I text him and told him that I knew and that I would never ever forgive him for it. Two months later he had made a new Facebook and added me I seen his friend request and left it sat there for a few days. I was still so hurt by this person but the curiosity and my feelings made me want to accept him and to see what he wanted.

when I accepted him I didn’t message him I waited for him to message me to see what he had to say for him self. He didn’t even try to apologise he just made it out like it was nothing.

somehow we ended up talking again but it felt very different this time, I invited him round to stay the night at my house after talking for about a week. And it was really good like when we met this time it was so much different to the rest we was sat chilling enjoying each other’s company a lot.

he asked me to be his girl but I said to him what’s the point all you do is block me and treat
me like I’m nothing to you. He promised he wouldn’t do that again, and me like an idiot believed him again lol.
everything was good at mine apart from when I was on my phone and he was accusing me of trying to hide it and accuse me of speaking to lads. I don’t know why but I felt like I have to constantly reassure him.

we ended up making a video of us having sex, which I feel so so stupid about because I sent it him. He was saying to me that I’m so sexy and that we should make an only fans account and to give him the password and we share the money 50/50.

anyway when he left in the morning he was asking me to come back that night but I had to go to work. He wasn’t really that bothered by that and we continued to call and text, he was so much quicker now with the replies he would send me paragraphs and message me first now and so much quicker. He was even sending me snaps whilst he was out and in the shower. He never used to reply so quick and frequent before.

I posted a picture on my story on Snapchat a few days later nothing bad, he messaged me and asked me who I was trying to impress.I told him no one and he didn’t speak to me all night he left me on read. I messaged him the next morning like lol hi at least you didn’t block me this time. We spoke for a few more days and he asked me to be his girlfriend like officially this time.

I said yeah and then the next message he asked me was what I was doing?, I told him I was just waiting for my friend to get a taxi and then going to bed. He literally started ringing my phone out but I didn’t answer because I was busy.

he messaged me saying to never ever speak to him ever again in my life, that me and him will never ever ever happen again and that my friend was clearly a lad & then blocked me (this was a week ago).

I was so confused and still am so confused, I know he’s blocked me loads of times before but obviously we never really was anything and met briefly but now that we have had sex and met and actually spent time together and him ask me to be his girlfriend it’s left me so confused and hurt.

two days ago I got added from a Snapchat account from “search”, I never post my Snapchat details anywhere I’m very private.

i accepted it to see who it was and it had no snap score, no bitmoji no nothing. The account was telling me that he lives in the town next to where I am from, how they had me on their old Snapchat and had made a new one and was adding all their old contacts. I kinda of believed it so I said okay and they tried starting a conversation I left them on read and they kept messaging me.

I looked at the account more as the hours went on and the account snap score wasn’t going up. The account was asking me if I had ever been on a night out in Liverpool ( this set alarms of in my head as I was planning a night out in Liverpool with the guy who blocked me). It then started telling me how he wants to lick my bum and have him bum licked. Which is exactly what he was asking me to do to him at mine but I wouldn’t.

the account asked me if I had an only fans and that I should because I’d make loads of money. Something was just telling me this person wasn’t who they said they was. They wouldn’t send me a red Snapchat or a voice note just a saved picture. I told the account if they don’t tell me who they are I’m blocking them.

the account said it would tell me who they are but not to tell anyone and to keep it a secret between us because he’ll get in trouble. This threw me of thinking it was him because why would he get in to trouble. I was watching the way the person was typing to see if it was the same as the way the guy I was seeing typed but it seemed to me like the fake account was purposely trying hard to make their grammar and spelling bad.

the account said that they knew me, that I have met them in person but wouldn’t tell me anything else. I ended up blocking the account but I still feel like it’s him I don’t know, I don’t get why he would do that but I don’t get why anyone else would do that aswell.

I don’t understand why someone if they did want to speak wouldn’t just try to talk to me of their actual account but I don’t understand at the same time why he would make a fake account but have me blocked on his if he did want to talk to me.

I am so confused at the moment, the fake account thing is making me a little bit paranoid as if it isn’t him why would someone go to so much effort to watch me, it feels kind of creepy.

sorry about the long post my brain is just very foggy at the minute and I have all these thoughts and questions I need help getting answers too I know I’ll never get them of him but can’t someone try and paint a picture for me.

OP posts:
MILLYmo0se · 08/02/2023 11:37

Again if this is real, did you ever do your own investigation as to what he was in jail for? Because by what you have written abusing a woman seems likely

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 08/02/2023 11:37

I stopped reading at 'sex tape.'

This man isn't who you want him to be and you mean very very little to him. If we only accept the love we think we 'deserve' then I feel desperately sorry for you. Blocking him only solves part of your problem.

longwayoff · 08/02/2023 11:38

Why does he treat me like this? Because I let him. Raise the bar. This guy is worthless and you aren't. Dont make yourself so.

Nevermind31 · 08/02/2023 11:38

Didn’t read it all. Come to your senses and block him.
been to jail, adds 50 off girls daily, pesters you, blocks you… just block, run and never look back.

vodkaredbullgirl · 08/02/2023 11:39

Block him

Emmamoo89 · 08/02/2023 11:39

You deserve better. And I'm not against anyone who's done time in jail well depends what theyve done. No one is perfect

AffIt · 08/02/2023 11:40

@Led9519

This whole post should be an essay question for young girls “at which red flag would you have blocked him.” The correct answer was when he said he’d got out of jail.

Yep.

CraneBoysMysteries · 08/02/2023 11:41

Run....run as fast as you can. Why do you think so little of yourself that you'd let this utter scumbag treat you like this.

Block and get some counselling to address your low self worth

GooseberryCinnamonYogurt · 08/02/2023 11:41

Sirzy · 08/02/2023 11:26

I gave up about 1/4 way through because even by then it seems the only answer is block him and move on.

Me too

JimnJoyce · 08/02/2023 11:41

this cant be real

Wishawisha · 08/02/2023 11:43

I wanted to stop reading but it got worse and worse. I don’t understand why you have put up with any of this at all.

Hotchox · 08/02/2023 11:43

Gave up around the 50+ girls per day comment. Ask someone for a brief run-down on what red flags are, looks like you need it

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 11:45

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 11:27

OP I think the real question is “Why do I have such low self worth that I give my details to strangers and give men who are criminals/man whores the time of day?”

The thing is I knew of him, I just didn’t know him on a personal level. I know his older brother when he asked me for my Snapchat I said yes part of the reason why is because I find it very awkward saying no plus I do think he’s attractive so thought why not. Most could say the same about dating websites? Why give personal details out to strangers online? Most of the time conversation leaves the dating platform and heads to social media.

OP posts:
GoldDuster · 08/02/2023 11:46

I have all these thoughts and questions I need help getting answers too I know I’ll never get them of him but can’t someone try and paint a picture for me.

How about this for a picture. He's a little wasteman and you need to stay away from him forever, and anyone that reminds you of him.

Stay away from snapchat and facebook, and use the time to try and work out what a healthy relationship looks and feels like, and listen to some podcasts on building healthy self esteem.

littlebirdieblu · 08/02/2023 11:46

Good grief lady......set your bar higher and block this loser!!

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 11:47

CraneBoysMysteries · 08/02/2023 11:41

Run....run as fast as you can. Why do you think so little of yourself that you'd let this utter scumbag treat you like this.

Block and get some counselling to address your low self worth

My dating experience has never been the best to be honest but it’s more the fact when we speak I get butterflies. We don’t just talk about sex we would talk about our future together, share issues ect I could literally tell him anything and him too when both on good terms

OP posts:
GoldDuster · 08/02/2023 11:47

I find it very awkward saying no

here is the root of most of your issues. Deal with this and you'll find that life will improve dramatically.

ShimmeringShirts · 08/02/2023 11:48

Do not be that desperate that you’re waiting about for a guy who’s been to prison, fucks you around, mentally abused you and gaslights you. You’re nothing but a shag to him, please seek some counselling for your mental health and self esteem issues and for the love of god block him and don’t have any contact with him.

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 11:49

GoldDuster · 08/02/2023 11:46

I have all these thoughts and questions I need help getting answers too I know I’ll never get them of him but can’t someone try and paint a picture for me.

How about this for a picture. He's a little wasteman and you need to stay away from him forever, and anyone that reminds you of him.

Stay away from snapchat and facebook, and use the time to try and work out what a healthy relationship looks and feels like, and listen to some podcasts on building healthy self esteem.

Wasteman 😂 made me laugh oh I do realise he has took me for an idiot and I hate him for it. I haven’t reached out to him and don’t plan too but my feelings are still very strong for him. For reasons I can’t understand my self.

OP posts:
WaddleAway · 08/02/2023 11:49

I stopped after him repeatedly getting his cock out and asking you to put it in his mouth.
What a prince OP. Is this the sort of behaviour that you find attractive?

rioseco · 08/02/2023 11:49

You've asked for advice on here. For god's sake take it. He is an abusive arsehole.
Work on building up your self esteem- you are so much better than this.

SlashBeef · 08/02/2023 11:50

Absolute chaos. I actually read the whole post and I was more and more baffled every time you said you gave him another chance. You randomly met him in the street, randomly blocks you and then gets out of jail and back in contact, yet still no red flags were waving for you??
I don't even know what to suggest because you seem so naive. Like, why aren't you running a mile?! Why is he doing the blocking? How does he have all these women to choose from?!

Rowthe · 08/02/2023 11:50

All he has done is treat you badly and tried to get into your pants.

Any moves you made to try and slow down the relationship resulted in you getting blocked.

Please do yourself a favour.

Block him on everything and just dont communicate with him any more.

You have the chance now to get out of this messy situation.

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 11:50

GoldDuster · 08/02/2023 11:47

I find it very awkward saying no

here is the root of most of your issues. Deal with this and you'll find that life will improve dramatically.

I’ve been trying too I have really bad social anxiety and anxiety overall I can not even make a complaint whilst out I prefer too avoid any possible confrontation

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 08/02/2023 11:50

Take control, block him. You deserve better. He is only using you for sex and isn’t even nice about that. You can take control and have nothing to do with him.