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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does he keep blocking me?

360 replies

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 11:21

I’ll try to keep this short, 2 years ago I was approached by a group of guys whilst I was on my way home, one asked for my Snapchat and I gave it to him because I was single and instantly attracted to him.

when I got home we chatted for a bit but I guess I must of said something he didn’t like because I was quick enough blocked. (Can’t remember what). Anyway about 9 months later he added me on Facebook and told me he had just got out of jail ect…. We started talking again and I actually really started to like him. It was constant conversation I felt like I had known him years.

He asked me what I wanted, I said obviously right not just too take things slow, as I knew he was speaking to other girls at the time as I could see his friends list and he would add about 50+ girls daily. Obviously we was both single and only just started speaking so I wasn’t expecting him to cut everyone off. He didn’t like the fact I said I wanted things to go slow and said that I was obviously sleeping around and he blocked me.

He unblocked me about three days later and message me telling me he missed me, he said to me I need to “ move correctly “ if I wanted to be his girl. We started speaking again for a few days And he was consistent on wanting to stay at my house. But I was wanting to take things slow at this point so I was making up excuses every time he asked. He told me I wasn’t serious so he blocked me for a good couple of months.

I was really confused because he was telling me how much he likes me and how he wants me to be with his girl soon ect… how could he say all that but just block me again?

He added me again about 4 months later and messaged me saying “I’m coming to yours” I told him no because what did he think this was. No contact for so long and then to just message me telling me he was coming to mine. Anyway we spoke on the phone and text for about a week I posted a picture on Snapchat and you could see Clevlage this made him mad and he blocked me.

I messaged him on Facebook telling him to never ever try and contact me again. He ignored that for a bit but soon apologised and we soon started talking and made up. I was round at my friends house having a drink and she told me to invite him over. So I did and he came.

as soon as he seen me he told me I was so beautiful and even better looking in person and that was is it I was his now. He was trying to kiss me and was being all over me as soon as he walked in the door. I was like kind of being shy because I’m not used to that and he said I was all talk and Boring.

every time my friend left the room he would try whipping out his penis and ask me to put it in my mouth. I told him no and that my friend was here he didn’t care. We was drinking and something was said between me and my friend that he didn’t like, he then proceeded to throw a moam sweet in my direction that actually ended up hitting my face.

later that night he ended up staying in the spare room with me and we did end up having sex. But we ended up arguing again after I can’t even remember what over and he told me to never speak to him again.

he left and later on that day I messaged him and apologised we spoke for that day but later that night he literally blocked me. I got my friend to look on his Facebook profile the next day and I seen he had gone into a relationship with someone. Not even 24 hours after being in bed with me I was so angry and hurt by him.

I text him and told him that I knew and that I would never ever forgive him for it. Two months later he had made a new Facebook and added me I seen his friend request and left it sat there for a few days. I was still so hurt by this person but the curiosity and my feelings made me want to accept him and to see what he wanted.

when I accepted him I didn’t message him I waited for him to message me to see what he had to say for him self. He didn’t even try to apologise he just made it out like it was nothing.

somehow we ended up talking again but it felt very different this time, I invited him round to stay the night at my house after talking for about a week. And it was really good like when we met this time it was so much different to the rest we was sat chilling enjoying each other’s company a lot.

he asked me to be his girl but I said to him what’s the point all you do is block me and treat
me like I’m nothing to you. He promised he wouldn’t do that again, and me like an idiot believed him again lol.
everything was good at mine apart from when I was on my phone and he was accusing me of trying to hide it and accuse me of speaking to lads. I don’t know why but I felt like I have to constantly reassure him.

we ended up making a video of us having sex, which I feel so so stupid about because I sent it him. He was saying to me that I’m so sexy and that we should make an only fans account and to give him the password and we share the money 50/50.

anyway when he left in the morning he was asking me to come back that night but I had to go to work. He wasn’t really that bothered by that and we continued to call and text, he was so much quicker now with the replies he would send me paragraphs and message me first now and so much quicker. He was even sending me snaps whilst he was out and in the shower. He never used to reply so quick and frequent before.

I posted a picture on my story on Snapchat a few days later nothing bad, he messaged me and asked me who I was trying to impress.I told him no one and he didn’t speak to me all night he left me on read. I messaged him the next morning like lol hi at least you didn’t block me this time. We spoke for a few more days and he asked me to be his girlfriend like officially this time.

I said yeah and then the next message he asked me was what I was doing?, I told him I was just waiting for my friend to get a taxi and then going to bed. He literally started ringing my phone out but I didn’t answer because I was busy.

he messaged me saying to never ever speak to him ever again in my life, that me and him will never ever ever happen again and that my friend was clearly a lad & then blocked me (this was a week ago).

I was so confused and still am so confused, I know he’s blocked me loads of times before but obviously we never really was anything and met briefly but now that we have had sex and met and actually spent time together and him ask me to be his girlfriend it’s left me so confused and hurt.

two days ago I got added from a Snapchat account from “search”, I never post my Snapchat details anywhere I’m very private.

i accepted it to see who it was and it had no snap score, no bitmoji no nothing. The account was telling me that he lives in the town next to where I am from, how they had me on their old Snapchat and had made a new one and was adding all their old contacts. I kinda of believed it so I said okay and they tried starting a conversation I left them on read and they kept messaging me.

I looked at the account more as the hours went on and the account snap score wasn’t going up. The account was asking me if I had ever been on a night out in Liverpool ( this set alarms of in my head as I was planning a night out in Liverpool with the guy who blocked me). It then started telling me how he wants to lick my bum and have him bum licked. Which is exactly what he was asking me to do to him at mine but I wouldn’t.

the account asked me if I had an only fans and that I should because I’d make loads of money. Something was just telling me this person wasn’t who they said they was. They wouldn’t send me a red Snapchat or a voice note just a saved picture. I told the account if they don’t tell me who they are I’m blocking them.

the account said it would tell me who they are but not to tell anyone and to keep it a secret between us because he’ll get in trouble. This threw me of thinking it was him because why would he get in to trouble. I was watching the way the person was typing to see if it was the same as the way the guy I was seeing typed but it seemed to me like the fake account was purposely trying hard to make their grammar and spelling bad.

the account said that they knew me, that I have met them in person but wouldn’t tell me anything else. I ended up blocking the account but I still feel like it’s him I don’t know, I don’t get why he would do that but I don’t get why anyone else would do that aswell.

I don’t understand why someone if they did want to speak wouldn’t just try to talk to me of their actual account but I don’t understand at the same time why he would make a fake account but have me blocked on his if he did want to talk to me.

I am so confused at the moment, the fake account thing is making me a little bit paranoid as if it isn’t him why would someone go to so much effort to watch me, it feels kind of creepy.

sorry about the long post my brain is just very foggy at the minute and I have all these thoughts and questions I need help getting answers too I know I’ll never get them of him but can’t someone try and paint a picture for me.

OP posts:
Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:25

Honestly I really do not know, this is the most confused I have ever been in my life and my head hurts a lot from it. I have messaged my university and asked them if they have any services in place for councelling or mental health help so I do hope I can get help sooner than later because I really want this to end between us for good

OP posts:
Superhanz · 15/02/2023 21:27

I've just seen your update and mu ex used to make me take pictures to prove I was where I said I was. He got worse, once I was in the bank and he wanted me to put the teller on the phone. She refused to speak to him and told me I needed help. She was right!

GoldDuster · 15/02/2023 21:28

I’m so embarrassed that I’m even acting this way over him

This is good, the embarrassed bit of you is your friend, because it's telling you something, listen to it.

If you really want this to end between you, then end it. Don't get sucked back in, see him for the abusive waster he is and get some boundaries. And stick to them. Seek help asap, and take everything you're offered.

Teenagequeenwithaloadedgun · 15/02/2023 21:29

I echo every other poster. There are more red flags here than a communist parade, and you don't need an ex convict abusive wannabe gangster who is obsessed with the fact that you're cheating with 'next man'.

He's given you nothing but grief. Why are you putting up with the constant drama?

AffIt · 15/02/2023 21:31

For fuck's sake - you've had pages and pages of kind, sensible, good advice from people and then you do this?

I'm angry for you and at you. Sort yourself out. You're 24 years old, you're at university, you're clearly not an idiot and yet you persist in acting like one.

takealettermsjones · 15/02/2023 21:32

@Babgirl2023x What exactly are you confused about? That's a genuine question, I'm not coming for you.

All I can see are cons. What are the pros?

echt · 15/02/2023 21:34

You lost me when you gave out your Snapchat to someone who approached you on the street.

oioimatey · 15/02/2023 21:35

TL;DR.

Never in my life have I ever read something that is such a red flag and I only read about three paragraphs.

Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:36

I’m so sorry that you have experienced and had to go through something similar. It’s honestly so awful and I would not wish it upon anyone. I just want him to actually be nice to me like he used to be because when we’re good we’re so good but I can’t keep going back and fourth with him. My hearts a lot along with my head, thankyou for the advice I really will be trying to not let him back into my life.

OP posts:
Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:38

I really do not understand why anyone needs to see where someone else is. My word should just be enough for him I would never ask him to show me where he is.

OP posts:
oioimatey · 15/02/2023 21:40

he asked me to be his girl but I said to him what’s the point all you do is block me and treat me like I’m nothing to you

You said it yourself. He even said to you to never contact him again. Block him everywhere, he is not worth even a kilojoule of your energy.

WaddleAway · 15/02/2023 21:40

Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:38

I really do not understand why anyone needs to see where someone else is. My word should just be enough for him I would never ask him to show me where he is.

He doesn’t need to know. He wants to know, because he’s a controlling, abusive prick. Why are you trying to analyse his behaviour?

Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:41

My eyes are open but for some reason I can’t get him out of my head he is on my mind and in my soul all the time to the point where it’s making me feel sick. I’m constantly refreshing my socials because I want to see his name there even though he’s blocked😂. I really don’t know how to explain it but I don’t know why I am acting this way I know it’s wrong I know it’s so wrong but every time he says jump I jump like an idiot.

OP posts:
GoldDuster · 15/02/2023 21:42

I really will be trying to not let him back into my life.

You'll be as successful as you want to be with this, you need to do it, not try. If you show him there's nothing in it for him he will get bored and move on to his next victim. Make sure that happens, because nobody else can make him go away if you're still in contact with him, and arranging dates. He does not want a relationship with you, he is abusing you.

The title of this thread is asking why he keeps blocking you, make sure that he doesn't get the chance from this point on.

You want him to be nice to you like he used to be, this is a classic pattern of abuse, you're a bright girl, you're at university, look into this. Do some research, clue yourself up on what's going on.

GoldDuster · 15/02/2023 21:44

Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:38

I really do not understand why anyone needs to see where someone else is. My word should just be enough for him I would never ask him to show me where he is.

Stop. You don't need to understand. It is nonsense, it literally makes no sense.

Stop trying to understand this bullshit. Spend some time researching on the internet into coercive control and abusive relationships instead of refreshing your social media looking for him.

Seriously, the only way this is going to get any better if you give yourself a shake and change your behaviour, you can't change his.

WaddleAway · 15/02/2023 21:45

Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:41

My eyes are open but for some reason I can’t get him out of my head he is on my mind and in my soul all the time to the point where it’s making me feel sick. I’m constantly refreshing my socials because I want to see his name there even though he’s blocked😂. I really don’t know how to explain it but I don’t know why I am acting this way I know it’s wrong I know it’s so wrong but every time he says jump I jump like an idiot.

Well it’s entirely in your control. You say you’ll ‘try’ not to allow him back into your life… you’re just giving yourself a get out for when you start speaking to him again. Keeping him out of your life is entirely down to
to you.

Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:46

I’m close with my mum but I never discuss my feelings with her I never even really tell her ‘I love you’ I find it weird when she says it to me. I do love her and we are close but I tend to keep stuff like this to my self

OP posts:
Superhanz · 15/02/2023 21:46

OP, there is no nice side. You can't appeal to his decent side because there isn't one. He doesn't think like you so trying to reason with someone like him is just pointless. I went through two years of this even though he knocked my teeth out and terrified me, I still tried to appeal to his nice side, the lovely side that was sometimes there. But I know now he had no empathy, he was a psychopath and that was recognised by the judge at his last sentencing.

This guy sounds EXACTLY like my ex, I'm only sure he's not him because you'd said about an older brother. I'm telling you to get out now, don't wonder why he's blocked you, he's toying with you.

I really hope you listen because it won't get any easier. Ask yourself why you want to be with him? Do you think he'll change? He won't.

steff13 · 15/02/2023 21:50

Raise your standards.

nothingcomestonothing · 15/02/2023 21:52

just want him to actually be nice to me like he used to be because when we’re good we’re so good

NO OP. NO. He was never nice. You and he were NEVER good. Listen to yourself trying to rewrite what's happened! He is an abuser, nothing more.

ThreeLittleDots · 15/02/2023 21:52

Until you 100% WANT all this nonsense (and it is utter meaningless nonsense, honestly - he 'loves' you as his wank-sock) to stop, you will keep falling for his tricks.

You do not have a healthy model of relationships to rely on. You are vulnerable and he knows that. This is why he enjoys toying with you. Because he knows you're so weak you'll put up with being treated so badly.

If you truly want to be rid you him you'd have changed your number, locked down or closed your accounts, reported him for harassment to the police.

I was abused by a high profile man. It stopped when I realised it was abusive and he was disgustingly taking advantage of my vulnerability. Makes me feel sick.

Please want better for yourself.

Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 21:55

That is so true, I’ve been doing some research into emotional abuse watching videos on YouTube. I really was ready to keep him out of my life I was in that “fuck him” stage and started actually going out and doing things. But I woke up to a friend request and I just thought fuck sake this boy I sat and stared at it ages thinking what should I do and stupidly I accepted him because I wanted him to answer me and let me know why he had blocked me and what I have done so wrong for him to treat me so poorly. But I got sucked in 😩 and here we are again my head it hurts

OP posts:
Skinnydogz · 15/02/2023 21:57

This is tragic. You're going to end up in chat magazine having been attacked by him I can see it now. Have you told your mum about this? See what she says but Clearly you'll go back to him in a heartbeat.

He wants you to make an only fans so he can use you and make money, it happens all the time. What do you think Andrew Tate is in prison for. You will be trafficked/ pimped out and the truly saddest part is you are willingly allowing it. Delete Snapchat ffs

GoldDuster · 15/02/2023 22:01

I wanted him to answer me and let me know why he had blocked me and what I have done so wrong for him to treat me so poorly.

You need to understand that this is very little to do with you. You haven't done anything other than be one of the women who, when he casts his net about on a daily basis, allowed themselves to get caught.

He has treated you poorly because he is likely a psychopath and, critically, because you allowed him to. And then went back for more.

Don't for one minute think you're special to him, you're nothing but a source of sex, and an ego boost and when you block him and move on, he will be on to the next one.

You've done it once, you've slipped up, but just do it again. Block him, get him out of your life, like he's shit on your shoe.

Babgirl2023x · 15/02/2023 22:03

When I asked my self why I want to be with him, I think about when we’re together and it’s just me and him and it is good. He would be so so nice to me and he made me feel so happy and like I had butterflies. That version of him I love so much but when it’s bad he’s so evil and nasty he will sit and read my messages and ignore me when I’m pleading with him and then when I tell him he’s making me upset and to stop and how sorry I am he just laughs at me. I just don’t understand how he went from “wanting” and “loving” me to not giving a eff about me.

The Snapchat screenshots aren’t the full conversation, they delete after 24 hours unless saved. What he does is if he says he’s done with me he’ll save the chats in chat so it’s like a constant reminder😩👋. Your ex sounded awful and I do hope that I can find the strength to let go

OP posts: