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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child spoiling holiday

356 replies

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:02

We’re currently on a ski holiday, first time for the kids. Child no 2 is refusing to go to ski school, he thinks it’s boring. The other 2 would rather ski with parents too but they’re okay to do it.

I’m currently sitting in the apt with the middle one as if he’s not doing ski school he’s not going skiing. He’s very headstrong and I don’t think he should get his way. I’m now resenting the fact that I’ve to sit here for 2.5 hrs until the lesson is over. Do I then let him ski in the afternoon??

OP posts:
diddl · 08/02/2023 09:00

Where's your OH Op?

What help was he in persuading your kid that ski schoo must happen or sharing the 2.5 hrs of childcare whilst Mr Know it all gets his way?

If ski school was always part of the deal why would that change now that you are there??

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 09:00

ImAvingOops · 08/02/2023 08:58

@GoodChat there is a reason - son thinks he's good to go on the more advanced slopes but he hasn't had enough lessons to be safe. OP is quite happy with the easier slopes

So they compromise. She says "ok you don't have to go to ski school but you can only go on the small slopes until you prove you're a strong enough skier for the big ones".

He just wants to go faster than the instructor allows.

Palmface · 08/02/2023 09:01

My nephew was an expert at everything at 10yo too. Yanbu. He's putting other skiers and himself at risk and you know that. No skiing unless he goes to ski school, end of story.

ivykaty44 · 08/02/2023 09:02

Whydoitry. I think your idea is good.

OP could you get him some private lessons? might that help? This is obviously different from your other 2 child? are they as good as your 10 year old? could they all have private lessons if they are enthusiastic and good?

Stopsnowing · 08/02/2023 09:02

Take him to ski school. It is not optional and kids don’t have to dictate on holiday.

LIZS · 08/02/2023 09:03

If he wants to ski this afternoon can he join another skischool group? @Swiftswatch he is no alone, he is with his siblings. Are there dynamics between them that mean he thinks he is beyond their level? Most ski-schools do not progress first timers into more advanced groups, especially French skis schools ime.

tara66 · 08/02/2023 09:05

Dogcafedreamer - Re Insurance - you may be interested to know the Post Office did a survey in 2018 which found half of skiers having accidents were not insured. I expect insurance agencies have similar surveys too No need for sarcasm!

DaveyJonesLocker · 08/02/2023 09:06

If he doesn't go to ski school he can't go skiing. It's dangerous. If he can't learn how to be safe then it would be UNsafe for him to go skiing.

sonjadog · 08/02/2023 09:07

No ski school, no skiing. You and your husband can swap so that one of you gets some skiing in every day. I wouldn't compromise on this as he could seriously hurt himself if he is overconfident as a beginner.

SunnySideDownBriefly · 08/02/2023 09:12

You need to make him do the classes or no ski-ing in the afternoon. He could be a danger to himself and other people. It's likely that his immature brain can't understand that he needs to ensure he has the core skills which are the foundation for all the fun and whizzing around that he can do.

Have you spoken to the ski school about this? Can they put him with older children or with a different instructor who can engage better with him?

Honestly, he's just too young to comprehend the damage he could do. You're the adult and your reasons for him doing classes are strong. Please don't let him ski in the afternoons without doing the classes. It's not ok.

StarsSand · 08/02/2023 09:13

I never thought I'd be that parent but my goodness, I'd be tempted to tell this 10 year old that some children have no holidays at all, let alone skiing holidays with semi private lessons.

He is incredibly privileged and maybe needs a reality check.

I can't believe the posters on here acting like you've been mean to bring him on a skiing holiday. Some parents are actually horrible. Some children are actually very deprived. Posters- Save your sympathy for some other child, this one needs to check his privilege, get his bottom over to his skiing lesson and thank his parents for giving him so many wonderful opportunities.

I'd be telling him no skiing the afternoon. So little has been asked of him and he's being a brat about it.

Fixyourself · 08/02/2023 09:14

You're the one spoiling the holiday. Stop being stubborn and do something fun with him!

TheFretfulPorpentine · 08/02/2023 09:16

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 08/02/2023 08:17

I say cut the kid some slack. It's your holiday too, and you'll ruin it being overly strict with sanctions. I mean, yes everyday school is compulsory, but I can see his point that he hasn't chosen 'ski school' so is maybe a bit miffed he has to go. Be nice, for the sake of nice memories for all of you - you don't want him to remember being forced/sanctioned when he 's older, but a nice holiday where his parents took heed of his wishes.

Nonsense. A ten year old should be doing as he is told, holiday or not.

Sssshh · 08/02/2023 09:19

I cant fairly comment as 2.5 hour classes each day of a holiday sounds like hell to me. I understand him not wanting to do it. But if he's not experienced and he's refusing to learn safely then no I wouldn't let him on this afternoon either. Is there a compromise where its not you getting your way or him getting his?

Ragwort · 08/02/2023 09:20

A lot of people reading this thread have clearly never been on a skiing holiday. Of course it's essential for safety reasons to have proper ski lessons ... and the ten year old doesn't dictate what you do. He clearly likes skiing it's not as if he is refusing to go on the slopes ... just thinks he's good enough already.

anewlifestarts · 08/02/2023 09:20

I think an hour 1 to 1 with a ski monitor will suit him much better. My children hated ski class so we only booked private lessons. They learnt at their own pace and found it much more engaging.

Badger1970 · 08/02/2023 09:21

I'd be tempted to let him do what he wants but then you're the person who'll be doing the grunt work if he ends up with a broken leg or arm.

I'd point out that it's for his safety and no other reason... and no lessons, no slopes.

FlounderingFruitcake · 08/02/2023 09:21

Classic over confidence, very typical for that age. Some of the responses here are really weird- the kid loves skiing and the lessons so he learns safely. OP you’re handling it really well. My nephew was exactly the same at that age and unfortunately his parents weren’t as sensible as you so the end result was him in hospital on day 2 with a concussion, broken collarbone and sprained wrist. The following year he gladly went back to ski school but it’s ridiculous that it had to go that far for him to realise that skiing is a dangerous sport and you have to learn properly.

I’d stand firm and say either no skiing this afternoon or that he can only go on the nursery slope.

Drivingmisspotty · 08/02/2023 09:21

TBH I would not take him skiing this afternoon. You have told him he needs ski school to learn to be safe. He hasn’t shown you that he is willing to learn the rules or understands the importance of safety so he doesn’t get to ski with more freedom. (Also I would have visions of him speeding off on the family ski and not being able to keep up.)

That said, if he has taken to it quickly is it possible for him to join a more advanced class in the ski school tomorrow?

LittleOwl153 · 08/02/2023 09:22

For me it would be no ski school no skiing that day. Safety first.

I would however expect his dad to take the afternoon shift sitting out with him so that you don't loose all your holiday - assuming his with you. (And I'd be furious if his dad then let him ski!).

As others have said I'd talk to the ski school/instructor if all the kids are bored as they're not with the right instructor/on the right course in that case.

rookiemere · 08/02/2023 09:23

@GoodChat
She doesn't know how to ski either. There's no reason they can't just ski together and learn as they go.

There's loads of reasons, OP is probably like me - a timid skier who can control herself but not others. She wants to stay on Green slopes- easiest slopes designed for beginners. Whereas DS wants to bomb down blue ( intermediate) and red ( upper intermediate) slopes. Not compatible needs in any way.

If anyone skis with the DS it should be DH who can assess if he actually should go up a class.

TheWitchesAreBackInTown · 08/02/2023 09:23

His overconfidence could result in seriously injuring himself or others. That would be on you. So yes, he misses out on skiing this afternoon and goes to ski school every morning.

Monster80 · 08/02/2023 09:24

My idea of hell. You wouldn’t get angry with a kid for not being able to swim on a beach holiday. I would probably see if there was a non-ski based kids club or other baby sitting provision, so that no one’s holiday was ruined? Unless you think this a ploy for your attention/manipulation? I.E he’s usually a champion skier and has just decided ‘not today’. If the latter I would insist he made the best of it for the whole family… no ‘I’ in ‘TEAM’. Good luck!

Apollonia1 · 08/02/2023 09:24

He sounds like an overconfident boy-racer. He doesn't want to go "slowly", but if this is his first skiing holiday, he doesn't have the skills to control his speed and direction, and awareness of other skiers. Without lessons, he'll be a danger on the slopes.

KathyWilliams · 08/02/2023 09:24

Skiing holidays and ski school sound like my idea of sheer hell - but having RTFT, I think you're absolutely right, OP. If your son wants to ski, he's got to do the learning part. He probably agreed beforehand to the ski school because he didn't know what it would involve or how 'boring' it would be, but he really can't ski unless he has had the lessons. I ride, and you wouldn't just get on a horse and gallop away after two lessons, so I imagine skiing is like that. I'd say no lessons, no skiing, and that's that (though as PP have said, I might look into whether he could move up a group if he's a natural).

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