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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child spoiling holiday

356 replies

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:02

We’re currently on a ski holiday, first time for the kids. Child no 2 is refusing to go to ski school, he thinks it’s boring. The other 2 would rather ski with parents too but they’re okay to do it.

I’m currently sitting in the apt with the middle one as if he’s not doing ski school he’s not going skiing. He’s very headstrong and I don’t think he should get his way. I’m now resenting the fact that I’ve to sit here for 2.5 hrs until the lesson is over. Do I then let him ski in the afternoon??

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 08/02/2023 08:32

Ski school/kids club isn’t really for me to be honest. I mean would you be happy to show up and find out you’ve to spend the morning working? Those things are basically just childcare/school in a different and less comfortable environment. It is his holiday. He doesn’t want to attend ski school.

midgemadgemodge · 08/02/2023 08:33

So he's not skied before?

No school no skiing

LIZS · 08/02/2023 08:33

A group of five is almost like they are having a private lesson. Tell him you will speak to the instructor but control and safety mist be learnt ahead of speed. A good instructor will make it fun. If he does not go he cannot expect to free ski with your family. Maybe cut him slack this morning and do something different but he has to go tomorrow.

skgnome · 08/02/2023 08:34

Can you check with the ski school if he can move to another group
even check now if he can make up the class in the afternoon with a more advanced group
now, a week skiing, you do progress a lot and assuming today is day 3 or 4, today is when they would have started on some blues - unless he’s progressing into parallel he won’t go in reds
go and talk to the school - after all you’re paying for a service and if it’s not right for your kid there’s still time to get it right

stringbean · 08/02/2023 08:36

I would probably look at trying to organise a private lesson or two if he's picked it up quickly and is bored in classes. Or could they move him up a class so he's a bit more challenged? Might be good for him to realise what he doesn't know, iyswim? Could you get some private lessons as well, to give you the confidence on blue/red slopes? It means that you'll all be able to ski as a family - the kids will outstrip you very quickly (mine did) - but it's such an enjoyable family activity so I would really try and find a way that you can both get the most out of it.

Kanaloa · 08/02/2023 08:36

But if the issue is that he won’t be skiing safely I’d just tell him he unfortunately won’t be able to ski because he isn’t engaging with the lessons. But I just wouldn’t be sanctioning or punishing a child for not wanting to attend lessons on their holiday.

strawberry2017 · 08/02/2023 08:36

No class no skiing.
You are the parent. Don't give him the choice.

ChildminderMum · 08/02/2023 08:37

If he doesn't want to learn to ski safely then fine, but I wouldn't take him skiing.

He can stay in your accommodation and watch TV while everyone else goes out.

Radiatorvalves · 08/02/2023 08:38

I took my godson skiing last year. Keen but total novice. 14. He did ski school and was a bit frustrated as he wanted to go faster. I took him out and he skied like a lunatic. I said never again….unless you turn and ski in control.

Id try and lay the law down. If he’s sporty should be able to slot back into ski school. Banning skiing in the afternoon will help no one. But are there any other sanctions?

neverbeenskiing · 08/02/2023 08:38

I have some sympathy for your son as I remember being dumped in ski school as a child and hating every second of it.

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 08:38

So you're doing a family ski in the afternoon even though you're a novice too? Surely that's a bit hypocritical...

Sirzy · 08/02/2023 08:39

If your not a confident skier yet could you arrange some group lessons for you both/all together so it’s more aimed to help you both develop?

might help him to see that everyone does things like this to improve?

ItsNotReallyChaos · 08/02/2023 08:39

The fact he wants to go whizzing along trickier slopes before he's learned shows that he really has a lot more to learn.

Maybe you should start looking (where he can see there's what you're doing) for a flight to take him home early if he doesn't want to enter into the holiday properly.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 08/02/2023 08:40

FurAndFeathers · 08/02/2023 08:09

Would you let him miss school?
then you need to get him to ski school or ensure the alternate is worse. No sitting at home on screens

learning any new skill is tough. But perseverance is an important characteristic

In what universe is Ski School the same as actually school?

I think it's cruel and unusual to take a kid for a "holiday" and make them take up mandatory training to suit their parents hobbies.

Skiing sounds like an actual waking nightmare to me. I'd have refused at any age.

ttcat37 · 08/02/2023 08:41

If you set the expectation that they had to go to ski school in the mornings in order to ski freely in the afternoons, and he accepted that, then you need to back that up and not let him ski this afternoon.

TheFretfulPorpentine · 08/02/2023 08:42

I think a brisk walk in the cold is called for.

underneaththeash · 08/02/2023 08:43

Just ask him to move up a group.

However, you really shouldn't be taking a 10 year old out of school just to ski.

vivainsomnia · 08/02/2023 08:43

I don't blame him OP. I too hated skiing classes and just wanted to get on with it so my dad took me once straight to a red and told me 'here you go, you get down now'. At the top, I was petrified, kept falling but by halfway I was ok and by the time I was on the blue, I had all the skills that was expected to have by the end of the week at the school. I was 10 too.

Who do you ski with? I would take him with you. Might be boring for the first hour but he will have reached your level by the end of that session if he is confident.

Original poster
Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:43

For those of you saying how mean it is to make him do something he hates and that you would all hate. Let me say again he is really enjoying skiing, the problem is he reckons he knows enough after 3 mornings of lessons

OP posts:
stonebrambleboy · 08/02/2023 08:43

strawberry2017 · 08/02/2023 08:36

No class no skiing.
You are the parent. Don't give him the choice.

This with bells on.

ImAvingOops · 08/02/2023 08:43

I'd just put him in ski school whether he wants to be there or not, on the basis that he needs to learn how to be safe. It would be very dangerous for him to think he knows it all already and therefore doesn't have the proper knowledge to get himself out of trouble. No school - no skiing!

You are the parent, the expectations were clear from the start, school is to his benefit so just insist.

LIZS · 08/02/2023 08:43

If you are not confident then you should not be taking novices out. Tell him if he won't go to lessons he will only be allowed on the kiddy lift in the ski-school area while his siblings get to do more.

MaverickGooseGoose · 08/02/2023 08:45

I was going to say you are being ridiculous but having read all your posts he needs to get his area into ski school or he doesn't ski. He needs to be safe for himself and everyone else on the mountain. Nothing wilder than a cocky kid who thinks they are super skilled when they are anything but.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 08/02/2023 08:45

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:43

For those of you saying how mean it is to make him do something he hates and that you would all hate. Let me say again he is really enjoying skiing, the problem is he reckons he knows enough after 3 mornings of lessons

Again, why can't he move into a more advanced class?

Some people do pick skiing up really quickly and it's incredibly boring being stuck in lessons with people who are still learning to snowplough.

Arewethereyet22 · 08/02/2023 08:46

This is not going to be very MN but we are a ski family, always skied every year as children and ski school was a mandatory part of the holiday from a much younger age than 10! We went even when we didn’t want to, even if there were tears. As an adult I am now so grateful to have learnt how to ski well and it’s a hobby I now do with my own dd and because I’m a good skier I can. She’s 4 and goes to ski school and then I will ski with her before or after. The other option is private lessons, he could work at a quicker pace and then go into a higher class, but obviously this is expensive.