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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child spoiling holiday

356 replies

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:02

We’re currently on a ski holiday, first time for the kids. Child no 2 is refusing to go to ski school, he thinks it’s boring. The other 2 would rather ski with parents too but they’re okay to do it.

I’m currently sitting in the apt with the middle one as if he’s not doing ski school he’s not going skiing. He’s very headstrong and I don’t think he should get his way. I’m now resenting the fact that I’ve to sit here for 2.5 hrs until the lesson is over. Do I then let him ski in the afternoon??

OP posts:
4thonthe4th · 08/02/2023 08:13

ArseMenagerie · 08/02/2023 08:11

Ski school isn’t childcare - it’s to teach them to ski and most kids would prefer to be with parents until they get there and then they love it. After ski school (only 2 hours or so) you can ski as a family.

I would let him ski this afternoon but if no ski school tomorrow then no skiing again full stop … and make this afternoon super fun!

Might not be childcare but it’s not most Childrens idea of fun either which is what a holiday should be…

Harebrain · 08/02/2023 08:13

I’d have taken them out on the slopes myself and enjoyed the session together.

Thesearmsofmine · 08/02/2023 08:13

Does he even like skiing? I would have hated this as a child.

rookiemere · 08/02/2023 08:14

And if it's ESF I'm on his side - utterly child unfriendly.
I paid a fortune when DS was young for English run small classes ski school.

Original poster
Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:14

He’s 10, it’s his first time skiing and he loves it. He doesn’t want to go slowly down slopes and go at the instructors pace. He’s in a group with his 2 siblings and 2 other kids.

I’m not an accomplished skier and just stick to greens as that’s what I’m capable of. Yes we discussed the trip before we went and told them they would be in ski school for 2.5 hrs a day. It’s not a case of wanting to get rid of the kids, it’s wanting them to learn a skill and be safe on the slopes.

He’s not on tech he’s reading a magazine.

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 08/02/2023 08:14

If its the first time... day 3/4 is when exhaustion can hit.

NerrSnerr · 08/02/2023 08:15

I have one child who would hate skiing and another who would love it so we wouldn't choose it as a family holiday. It's clearly not for everyone and a pretty miserable thing to be the main activity on a holiday if you don't enjoy it.

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 08:16

It sounds like what you really mean is you chose a holiday to suit the adults and can't be arsed accommodating the kids.

You could have taken them to practise slopes before the holiday rather than making them spend it with strangers.

Original poster
Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:16

He does enjoy skiing he told me the other day it’s “way better than a regular holiday”

OP posts:
TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 08/02/2023 08:17

I say cut the kid some slack. It's your holiday too, and you'll ruin it being overly strict with sanctions. I mean, yes everyday school is compulsory, but I can see his point that he hasn't chosen 'ski school' so is maybe a bit miffed he has to go. Be nice, for the sake of nice memories for all of you - you don't want him to remember being forced/sanctioned when he 's older, but a nice holiday where his parents took heed of his wishes.

DeadOrchid · 08/02/2023 08:18

First ski holiday - he needs to be in ski school and probably next time too as a minimum to ensure he is safe on the slopes. How old is he? Ours started at 3 and did ski school until they were 8ish where we moved them to private lessons so they could have a blast for a couple of hours once or twice during the week. To be fair they all enjoyed it though and we had some great instructors and chose ski schools where the group sizes were small.

They left me behind years ago and I was the one booking lessons this year to get my confidence back.

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/02/2023 08:18

Ski school is not childcare, it is also very necessary. I'd be fuming. He's a novice but thinks he knows it all and he doesn't.

rookiemere · 08/02/2023 08:18

Ah tricky situation then OP.

He's too young to leave alone and if you're not a confident skier I wouldn't be taking Mr Gung Ho out with you by yourself.

I think ride it out and no skiing today. Is it possible for him to swap to a different group that's progressing faster tomorrow?

WandaWonder · 08/02/2023 08:19

So he wanted and asked to go to ski school and now saying he doesn't want too (I am not going back to check if a he so apologies if it is a daughter)

Snugglemonkey · 08/02/2023 08:22

This is about him wanting to run before he can walk to me. He needs lessons to get to a level where he can please himself, but for now I would go with no ski school, no skiing.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/02/2023 08:23

By missing a day he might be behind the group if they are practising turns etc. There's more to skiing than going in a straight line.

(Fwiw... DH, a qualified ski instructor puts ours in ski school so they learn safely. He goes on courses to become a better skiier)

Original poster
Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:24

He didn’t ask to go to ski school, we explained when booking the holidays that that’s have lessons for 2.5 hrs in the morning in order to learn how to ski. Once that’s done we spend the rest of the time together as a family skiing. He’s a very athletic kid and has taken to it very quickly. He wants to go whizzing down blue and red slopes not follow an instructor down at a slow pace. I’m not much of a skier so I can’t take him whizzing down slopes!

OP posts:
JustAWeirdoWithNoName · 08/02/2023 08:24

He absolutely needs to persevere with ski school or else he'll turn into one of those out of control idiots bombing down slopes and crashing into people.
A bit late for this holiday but, if you are only confident on greens yourself, then maybe look at booking a private instructor for the whole family next time? Should work out a similar price and you don't want the kids to overtake your skill level too quickly.

PotKettel · 08/02/2023 08:25

Tell him that if he doesn’t do ski school this time, then NEXT holiday his siblings will be better than him and he will still have to be in beginner ski school as he needs to build the skills.

If he is genuinely turning out to be an ace skier then talk to the instructor and ask if he could move up a group. But it could seriously knock his confidence if he attempts intermediate too soon, as the class I’ll assume skills and knowledge he may not have mastered.

Can he ice skate? If not I’d take him ice-skating this afternoon and provide absolutely no help or advice at all until he begs for it. Then point out it’s the same deal with ski school - you have a vision in your head of speeding down slopes but you can’t skip the early steps like how to snow plough and control your speed.

Blessedwithsunshine · 08/02/2023 08:27

You are being very unfair, young children hate being separated from their parents. Ski school is such a long and tiring day for little kids.
You want him to go so you can go off and ski, and enjoy yourself but honestly that’s unrealistic with young children.

They get very cold and tired quickly. I say put the children first and go swimming or sledging and enjoy some quality time with your children. A girls ski holiday is probably easier at this age. Some of my friends have put their children off skiing for life by insisting on clubs and they refuse to go at all now.

StarsSand · 08/02/2023 08:28

It sounds like he's being a brat. I can't believe the time you're getting here.

You've taken him on a lovely holiday that he will enjoy and he's being difficult about spending 2.5 hours in a lesson to ski safely.

I'd be cross with him

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 08/02/2023 08:29

Ah, so he's bored in ski school.

Is there an option to move him to a more accomplished group if he's taking to it really well?

Speaking from experience, beginner ski school can be incredibly dull - there's lots of standing about and getting cold!

Dogcafedreamer · 08/02/2023 08:30

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:24

He didn’t ask to go to ski school, we explained when booking the holidays that that’s have lessons for 2.5 hrs in the morning in order to learn how to ski. Once that’s done we spend the rest of the time together as a family skiing. He’s a very athletic kid and has taken to it very quickly. He wants to go whizzing down blue and red slopes not follow an instructor down at a slow pace. I’m not much of a skier so I can’t take him whizzing down slopes!

Then he's being unreasonable! The problem is that if you ban him this afternoon does that mean you can't ski?

Quartz2208 · 08/02/2023 08:30

Can he move to another class - it sounds as if he has learnt quickly and now is stuck in a class where he isn’t progressing. Talk to the ski school about options

Original poster
Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:31

@Blessedwithsunshine it’s not the case of not wanting to be apart from us far from it, he’s 10 not that little. As @StarsSand says he’s been a brat, this certainly isn’t about me wanting childfree time. I’m more than happy to spend all day with my kids (they’ve never done a kids club on holiday) but this is what we agreed on. I knew he would take to skiing but I need him to learn how do it safely.

OP posts: