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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child spoiling holiday

356 replies

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:02

We’re currently on a ski holiday, first time for the kids. Child no 2 is refusing to go to ski school, he thinks it’s boring. The other 2 would rather ski with parents too but they’re okay to do it.

I’m currently sitting in the apt with the middle one as if he’s not doing ski school he’s not going skiing. He’s very headstrong and I don’t think he should get his way. I’m now resenting the fact that I’ve to sit here for 2.5 hrs until the lesson is over. Do I then let him ski in the afternoon??

OP posts:
Ricco12 · 08/02/2023 08:46

I would explain to him go to ski school and learn quicker and get on decent runs or don't and stick in baby slopes with you

That's the options I'd give him.

tara66 · 08/02/2023 08:47

Carrie - This is exactly how I see situation. The child could break a leg, ankle or worse without knowing what is safe by learning through lessons. Hope you have insurance.

Dogcafedreamer · 08/02/2023 08:47

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:43

For those of you saying how mean it is to make him do something he hates and that you would all hate. Let me say again he is really enjoying skiing, the problem is he reckons he knows enough after 3 mornings of lessons

Yeah he's 10 going on 24! It's common.

Firm, you don't get to ski unless you go to lessons.

You're going to lessons to learn safely and properly.

You've no idea how dangerous skiing can be, because you're new to it.

Suck it up or you won't ski for the rest of the week.

Will probably sort it.

Dogcafedreamer · 08/02/2023 08:48

tara66 · 08/02/2023 08:47

Carrie - This is exactly how I see situation. The child could break a leg, ankle or worse without knowing what is safe by learning through lessons. Hope you have insurance.

Crikey it's a good job you're checking on insurance, I'm sure OP would never have thought of that!

SauMore · 08/02/2023 08:49

Skiing is a sport and just likes lots of other sports it's important to have proper coaching in order to learn to ski safety. You wouldn't just send a child out rock climbing, windsurfing etc and expect them to be able to do it safely and in control.
For those going on about childcare, Ski school is NOT childcare, it's teaching someone to ski safely, same as all the other more extreme sports.
OP is not looking for childcare, she's looking for her son to join in the coaching she has organised for him

louise5754 · 08/02/2023 08:50

If you're genuinely wanting him to learn
YANBU

If you're wanting 2 1/2 to yourself every morning YABU

Swiftswatch · 08/02/2023 08:51

I’m now resenting the fact that I’ve to sit here for 2.5 hrs until the lesson is over. Do I then let him ski in the afternoon??

So child doesn’t want to spend 2.5hrs on his own on holiday and you’re annoyed your holiday is ruined because you have to spend 2.5hrs with your own child?

plumduck · 08/02/2023 08:51

He has to do the ski school to be safe and learn from an expert. If he were a professional footballer he'd still get coaching.

DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 08/02/2023 08:51

Maybe he just doesn’t enjoy skiing? It’s not something that would interest me personally. Rather than spoil the holiday why don’t you use the time to do something else 1-1 with him?
As a child I’d have hated being forced into doing an activity I had no interest in just because the rest of my family wanted to do it.

Vastula · 08/02/2023 08:51

I’d book him into childcare (even a childminder who stays at the apartment) if he refuses to go. He needs to learn to be safe, you’ve set and he’s accepted expectations; he doesn’t get to change the rules.

If you give in to this whilst he’s ten, you could be setting yourself up for all kinds of school refusal and rule breaking when he’s a teenager. He’s not in charge.

IncompleteSenten · 08/02/2023 08:52

Skiing is hazardous. You would be negligent if you just let him go do as he pleases with only three hours training. Who the fuck would say oh, you've had a bit of training and you think you have mastered skiing safely? Fair enough. As your parent it is not my job to keep you safe so off you go my dear ten year old, enjoy.

Kid's going to break his fucking leg!

I'd give him the choice. Ski school and then skiing or no ski school and you do other activities. If he refuses either option and would rather sulk all day because you are so mean and unfair that his safety matters to you then let him pout into his comics.

otterlyr · 08/02/2023 08:53

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:24

He didn’t ask to go to ski school, we explained when booking the holidays that that’s have lessons for 2.5 hrs in the morning in order to learn how to ski. Once that’s done we spend the rest of the time together as a family skiing. He’s a very athletic kid and has taken to it very quickly. He wants to go whizzing down blue and red slopes not follow an instructor down at a slow pace. I’m not much of a skier so I can’t take him whizzing down slopes!

I think with this being the reason it's fine to just be assertive and make him go to lessons.

It would be different if he hated skiing and was upset at being made to do it, then I would question the whole holiday tbh.

But he obviously loves skiing and just needs to learn.

So give him the choice - he can go to lessons and ski on the main slope, or not go to lessons and stay on the baby slope. That's how it is for everyone and it's no different for him. He has to be safe.

BringMeTea · 08/02/2023 08:54

No school, No ski! He is being a brat.

TheSoapyFrog · 08/02/2023 08:54

Sounds a lot like my son, tries something once and decides he's a pro and doesn't need any help. Tell him it's akin to driving a car. There's a reason people have to take lessons before they get their licence; for the safety of themselves and others.
If he wants to ski, he needs to learn how to do it safely. No skiing on anything other than the beginner slopes until them.
Is there an option for him to move up a group or have private lessons?
Maybe in the future you can have ski lessons together before you go on holiday so he doesn't have to go to ski school.

4thonthe4th · 08/02/2023 08:55

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:16

He does enjoy skiing he told me the other day it’s “way better than a regular holiday”

What, sitting in the room? What on earth are your normal holidays like if this tops it?

ImAvingOops · 08/02/2023 08:56

OP isn't being unreasonable to not want to spend a skiing holiday unable to ski because her child is being bratty! If he refuses school she can't just take him out in the afternoon and risk him being unsafe!

Trixielo · 08/02/2023 08:56

DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 08/02/2023 08:51

Maybe he just doesn’t enjoy skiing? It’s not something that would interest me personally. Rather than spoil the holiday why don’t you use the time to do something else 1-1 with him?
As a child I’d have hated being forced into doing an activity I had no interest in just because the rest of my family wanted to do it.

The OP has repeatedly said he loves skiing. Why do so many people comment without reading the thread??!

PuttingDownRoots · 08/02/2023 08:57

Does he play football or another sport?

Does he still have coaching, even though he can kick the ball, or swim a few strokes, or hit the target?
Do the professional players still have coaches?
Learning is what they do constantly. You don't rock up to the professional side without training... it takes practice and refining of technique.

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 08:57

ImAvingOops · 08/02/2023 08:56

OP isn't being unreasonable to not want to spend a skiing holiday unable to ski because her child is being bratty! If he refuses school she can't just take him out in the afternoon and risk him being unsafe!

She doesn't know how to ski either. There's no reason they can't just ski together and learn as they go.

SomePosters · 08/02/2023 08:57

Not all schools have the same holiday dates and not all kids are educated at school.

I know it’s hard to believe world outside your bubble exists but there we have it

ivykaty44 · 08/02/2023 08:57

He’s 10, it’s his first time skiing and he loves it. He doesn’t want to go slowly down slopes and go at the instructors pace.

so he could endanger someone or himself if allowed to ski this afternoon - as his expectation is to go fast and not having learnt how to ski in lesson this could make him incredibly dangerous to others.

If he refuses to learn the technique to skiing, then id be stopping him from skiing this afternoon.

In life sometimes we have to learn the boring stuff to be able to do the exciting stuff safely

Whydoitry · 08/02/2023 08:57

I went on a snowboarding holiday as an adult and picked it up really quickly. After two days of group lessons, the instructor suggested moving me up to the intermediate class which was much better for me. The beginners class was really boring. Lots of waiting around to do something I'd already mastered anyway.

Is there an option to go up a class?

Peachy2005 · 08/02/2023 08:57

No afternoon skiing without ski school. It’s a safety issue, you said yourself you are not advanced enough to safely teach him (no offence intended). Only 5 kids is practically a private lesson, he should be able to last 2.5 hours. If you give in to his tantrum, he could end up being injured or injuring someone else. Maybe have a chat with the instructor when the other kids’ lesson is over today and find out how they are progressing without him. Good luck, stick to your guns!

ImAvingOops · 08/02/2023 08:58

@GoodChat there is a reason - son thinks he's good to go on the more advanced slopes but he hasn't had enough lessons to be safe. OP is quite happy with the easier slopes

Beenmum · 08/02/2023 08:58

So it sounds to me that he thinks he can run before he can walk … you need to rein in that over confidence before he gets hurt or hurts someone else .. you are doing the right thing .. but I’d not let him out on the slopes till he resumes ski school .. sorry if that ruins your holiday but that’s parenting unfortunately .. roll on apres ski !