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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child spoiling holiday

356 replies

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:02

We’re currently on a ski holiday, first time for the kids. Child no 2 is refusing to go to ski school, he thinks it’s boring. The other 2 would rather ski with parents too but they’re okay to do it.

I’m currently sitting in the apt with the middle one as if he’s not doing ski school he’s not going skiing. He’s very headstrong and I don’t think he should get his way. I’m now resenting the fact that I’ve to sit here for 2.5 hrs until the lesson is over. Do I then let him ski in the afternoon??

OP posts:
Mediocrates · 09/02/2023 18:05

Best lesson I ever learned about holidays as a parent was that it’s their holiday too. Me planning a holiday that I imagined it should be led to misery all round. Why does he have to go to ski school?

unreasonableornothelp · 09/02/2023 18:13

Ifailed · 08/02/2023 08:13

How old are the children?
As it's term-time, presumably under 5 or over 16.

This

queensonia · 09/02/2023 18:19

Switch him to snowboarding school

Budgiegirlbob · 09/02/2023 18:32

Why does he have to go to ski school?

Have you not read the thread?

Solasum · 09/02/2023 18:37

My DS is a similar age and has skied as often as Covid has allowed. He still has ski lessons, and will carry on doing so for many years yet. It is notable that his ski instructor makes him go much more slowly than he wants to, to really nail decent technique. Like your DS, by choice he would go straight down everything. We give him a choice of following, or not at all. He grumbles, but he skis safely and is coming on leaps and bounds. On our last holiday I was told it was the worst holiday ever halfway through the week. Because it is utterly exhausting. We ignored, and by the end he was keen to book our next trip.

In my book, if you are going to do any risk sport, you learn to do it properly. There is much more to skiing well than speed, and he needs to understand that. There will ALWAYS be someone faster than you on the slopes.

DeadOrchid · 09/02/2023 18:39

Rosie22xx · 09/02/2023 18:00

Why are you making him do ski school when he clearly doesn't want to? It's not mandatory for him to go, so I'm just confused. Would you do something because you're being forced to, even though you don't want to do it? You are his parent yes, you aren't his owner or controller. He is an individual and has his own interests.

Because he wants to ski and he needs to learn how to do it safely.

StickofVeg · 09/02/2023 18:39

I think you're spoiling the holiday not the DC that doesn't want to go to ski school. Perhaps they don't like it, perhaps they don't feel confident - just let them do what they'd like because it's their holiday too. You'll only resenting them sitting in the apartment anyway and that's silly - bigger battles.

DeadOrchid · 09/02/2023 18:45

StickofVeg · 09/02/2023 18:39

I think you're spoiling the holiday not the DC that doesn't want to go to ski school. Perhaps they don't like it, perhaps they don't feel confident - just let them do what they'd like because it's their holiday too. You'll only resenting them sitting in the apartment anyway and that's silly - bigger battles.

I think you should probably read the thread.

Budgiegirlbob · 09/02/2023 18:50

just let them do what they'd like because it's their holiday too

Even though it could badly injure or kill them, or others?

Brakebackcyclebot · 09/02/2023 18:52

I have read several pages of the thread....

I am a skier, and so are my kids. They did ski school for years when we went skiing - it is essential to learn and be safe on the slopes.

However, you said he is "a very athletic kid and has taken to it very quickly. He wants to go whizzing down blue and red slopes not follow an instructor down at a slow pace"

Is he in the wrong ski school class? My eldest was like this - he picked it up really quickly, and was moved up a group so that he was more challenged in the lessons. He was doing red runs with the instructor in his first week. Have you asked the ski school about this as a possibility?

FoodieToo · 09/02/2023 19:21

I think many commenting here have never been on a ski holiday .

OP stick with it - he needs to go to lessons . It's only 2 and a half hours a day - he's not even doing the afternoon.

It's a tricky one but really he is being a bit of a brat ! Some of mine were over confident like that too .

I hope you get it sorted and you get to enjoy your last day/s.

RichardHeed · 09/02/2023 19:42

So you don’t really ski, the kids need lessons… who is this holiday for and why isn’t he helping with this?

Nanalisa60 · 09/02/2023 20:05

Can you ask ski school if he can go up a group? I would have said today well let’s just go to ski school and ask if you can go up a group? Now he has missed a day they will probably say no.

NomiMacaroni · 09/02/2023 20:05

You can tell that a lot of people have never been skiing. If it's his first time he definitely needs lessons to be able to do it safely. He's thrown a strop and not even tried it. I live in an area with loads of skiing and I have never known a child to not enjoy it once they get the hang of it.

But safety is paramount and that's why he needs to go to ski school. It's just for a couple of hours and then he can be free to enjoy the rest of the day. Ski school will help him with technique and safety so he can enjoy skiing to the fullest.

NomiMacaroni · 09/02/2023 20:06

RichardHeed · 09/02/2023 19:42

So you don’t really ski, the kids need lessons… who is this holiday for and why isn’t he helping with this?

How else are they supposed to learn apart from on the slopes? The kid should give it a good try before deciding he doesn't like it.

I see.it as the parents trying to expand their horizons into a new activity that the whole family could enjoy.

JaffavsCookie · 09/02/2023 20:08

Hope he went today OP
I was (note past tense) a competent skier, olympic level black runs etc over several decades of experience.
4 years ago at the end of a great day’s skiing I was slowing up through a flatter part near an intermediate lift station. Some sub teenage prat skied into the back of me. I have had 4 operations so far to repair the damage, and have not been able to ski since. Unskilled skiers are lethal on the slopes

Motherhubbardscupboard · 09/02/2023 20:16

It sounds to me like he needs to do what he's told. You worked hard to pay for this holiday so I think at 10 he can put up with it for a couple of hours. Different if he was 4 and hated being left by you but that's not the case.

Grumpybutfunny · 09/02/2023 20:19

Could you do private lessons as a family? Ski school was never for my youngest brother as he picked it up easily, so got frustrated when other were practicing the same time and time again. Could you compromise on he can only do greens until he's done X hours of ski school? In the end our parents gave up and let him get on with it, he was and still is an adrenaline junky risk taker.

When your home you can book uk based lessons so they don't need as many next year.

jamdonut · 09/02/2023 20:21

Did you ask him if he wanted to learn to ski? Perhaps he just doesn’t like it. I think it’s a bit unfair of you to assume that because you like skiing that your child will.
My parents never took us skiing, but I was offered the chance ( and parents prepared to pay ) via school. I couldn’t think of anything worse to be honest.

XelaM · 09/02/2023 20:25

jamdonut · 09/02/2023 20:21

Did you ask him if he wanted to learn to ski? Perhaps he just doesn’t like it. I think it’s a bit unfair of you to assume that because you like skiing that your child will.
My parents never took us skiing, but I was offered the chance ( and parents prepared to pay ) via school. I couldn’t think of anything worse to be honest.

Read OP's posts :)

Airupnonsense · 09/02/2023 20:51

I’ve been skiing before and next year we are going as a family. I’m not booking ski school as my youngest would hate being in that kind of group environment.

I have found a ski school that will let me book private lessons for the two kids together. Me and their dad will follow at a distance and leave them to it if both kids are happy being left. We will just stay close on the nursery slopes if not. Then we’ll all go at the pace of the weakest skier in the afternoons, whomever that may be!! The children will not be allowed to go zooming down reds and blues before they are ready!!

Dogstar78 · 09/02/2023 21:13

Another vote for sticking kids in childcare. Your child is ruining a holiday where you thought you'd be free as a bird for a few hours every day.

I hate seeing those poor miserable kids in those ski schools. My dad took me with him and taught me to ski, lovely memories.

If my son didn't want to do kids club activities he didn't have to. He just did it if he thought it looked fun. It is there holiday as well. Time to spend time together as a family, relax and not watch the clock. Holidays mean different things to different people I guess.

Surroundedbyfools · 09/02/2023 21:20

Bloody hell. Talk about first world problems. Not everyone like ski ing. It’s meant to be a holiday which should be fun. Maybe book something everyone will like in future and just make the most of what u can for now

Funkyblues101 · 09/02/2023 21:28

Ski with him instead, some just don't like ski school.

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 09/02/2023 21:44

For those who are saying he shouldn't have to go to ski school, if it were a SCUBA holiday, should he be allowed to go diving independently after just a few lessons? Or if it were horse riding, should he be sent off alone on a horse on public roads with no help after just a few mornings of lessons?

It sounds like OP is not confident to help him if there is a problem, and as others have said, he's not just a danger to himself, but those around him- on green/blue slopes this will very likely include smaller children.

By all means speak to the instructor, but there's not really much reason to think he is an accurate judge of his own skill, necessarily. Just because he wants to go fast doesn't mean he is capable of doing it safely.