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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child spoiling holiday

356 replies

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:02

We’re currently on a ski holiday, first time for the kids. Child no 2 is refusing to go to ski school, he thinks it’s boring. The other 2 would rather ski with parents too but they’re okay to do it.

I’m currently sitting in the apt with the middle one as if he’s not doing ski school he’s not going skiing. He’s very headstrong and I don’t think he should get his way. I’m now resenting the fact that I’ve to sit here for 2.5 hrs until the lesson is over. Do I then let him ski in the afternoon??

OP posts:
4thonthe4th · 08/02/2023 11:18

SafferUpNorth · 08/02/2023 11:15

Errrrrr no, ski school is not like kids club in a hotel. The children are learning a rahter technical skill, it's not random entertainment. Would you call going to ballet or music class simply childcare?

Show quote history

It’s also not the only option. Maybe financially it’s not viable for the OP but if her child isn’t enjoying ski school she could’ve arranged private tuition.

Youdoyoubabe · 08/02/2023 11:19

If he improves during the week they will move him up to a better group. I would try and get him to suck it up and go to the ski school. He will only get moved up if he shows his natural flair for it... which he can't do while sitting on a sofa.....

ZiriForEver · 08/02/2023 11:19

I don't see a value in keeping him of the slope today in the afternoon.

Sounds you might want to get the instructor yourself as well, so you 'll be confident going with them to blues and reds, no way the children will be happy on greens for long. Maybe make it a deal with the DC that he needs to go to ski school because you need to go as well?

In the same time, technical training is useful, so nothing wrong on skischool. I'd recommend talking to the instructor and if the other children of yours are fast on skying uptake as well, maybe switching from ski school to private lesson for them/having the instructor to get them on the big slope as part of the lesson (or just after, to not break the course for others) to make it more appealing?

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/02/2023 11:20

Move him up a group. He’s bored.

MonkeyMindAllOverAround · 08/02/2023 11:20

I truly believe families should be teams, some days you need to take one for the team so they take one for you another day.

Let him be, but next time he asks for something just say no, he has to learn that he is not the only one who can choose to do as he pleases.

Believe me, the above works wonders, really.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 08/02/2023 11:23

People talking like this kid is being abused or something because he’s being asked to do a few hours ski school so he can LEARN TO SKI on a wait for it… SKI HOLIDAY 😮😮😮😮

he thinks he’s better than he is and still needs teaching that’s the end of it ! It’s not childcare it’s not child cruelty it’s a ski trip

if you don’t like skiing or whatever or would’ve been your idea of hell as a child (why was every mumsnetter a ‘quiet clever child who preferred to read alone than speak to anyone’ or whatever, why was no one outgoing and sporty 🤷‍♀️)

LIZS · 08/02/2023 11:23

Skiing is a skill. Just like football, swimming, rugby, dance, driving, ice skating, sailing etc the way to learn safely and effectively is to take lessons. It just so happens that rather than an hour a week it tends to be concentrated into intensive sessions in a week's holiday. Not for everyone but not the same as holiday daycare.

Justalittlebitduckling · 08/02/2023 11:23

Can you tell him that you’re sorry he doesn’t like ski school but that if he goes along for the sake of everyone else, when you get home he will be able to pick some family day trips and activities that he enjoys? And next time he can have some input into planning the holiday. But if he refuses to go and ruins things for everyone else, this won’t happen. I don’t think making him miss family time in the afternoon will help.

Are you sure there wasn’t an incident like another child being mean to him in the class?

SauMore · 08/02/2023 11:25

Why isn’t it the same ? Aren’t kids clubs in hotels the same thing; doing activities with a random group of other children who’ve been placed in the same club / group?

No, skiing is a sport and ski school is the same as going to swimming lessons, rugby/hockey/judo/gymnastics coaching, sailing lessons, climbing lessons and a host of other sports.
They are all things where the child has to learn the activity properly to ensure the safety of them and others.

4thonthe4th · 08/02/2023 11:27

SauMore · 08/02/2023 11:25

Why isn’t it the same ? Aren’t kids clubs in hotels the same thing; doing activities with a random group of other children who’ve been placed in the same club / group?

No, skiing is a sport and ski school is the same as going to swimming lessons, rugby/hockey/judo/gymnastics coaching, sailing lessons, climbing lessons and a host of other sports.
They are all things where the child has to learn the activity properly to ensure the safety of them and others.

What kind of hotels do you stay in abroad? They teach things in those too in the hotels we’ve been to.

tilestoclean · 08/02/2023 11:28

Blessedwithsunshine · 08/02/2023 08:27

You are being very unfair, young children hate being separated from their parents. Ski school is such a long and tiring day for little kids.
You want him to go so you can go off and ski, and enjoy yourself but honestly that’s unrealistic with young children.

They get very cold and tired quickly. I say put the children first and go swimming or sledging and enjoy some quality time with your children. A girls ski holiday is probably easier at this age. Some of my friends have put their children off skiing for life by insisting on clubs and they refuse to go at all now.

He's 10!! Not a little kid! And it's 2.5 hours of ski school! Have you ever actually been skiing?! My kids are the same age and if I suggested another activity other than skiing on a ski holiday they would be horrified. OP I say he skis this afternoon on the understanding that ski school tomorrow is non negotiable. My kids are really decent skiers but we still insist on ski school so they can improve.

tilestoclean · 08/02/2023 11:34

To be honest anyone who isn't a skier shouldn't be allowed to post 😂

Original poster
Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 11:35

Thanks for all the replies! We had a chat about it and I told him he can’t just announce he’s not going and get into a strop. I explained that if he has a point to make and a reasonable argument we can discuss it but there’s no flat out this is what I’m doing.

I took him out for an hour on the condition that he goes for the rest of the week which he has agreed to. We will all go out together this afternoon. He has lost his afternoon treat for the way he spoke to me.

OP posts:
CatA27 · 08/02/2023 11:36

Have you tried having a word with his instructor? If he has picked it up quickly then maybe he could move up a group? I know my kids all picked it up way quicker than the adults,my 5 Yr old accidentally perfectly navigated a black run once🙈

Original poster
Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 11:37

I had hoped to have lessons but the only slot they had left was in the afternoon and if I did that I wouldn’t get to spend anytime with the kids on the slopes so I decided not to. This was a last minute holiday so we took what we could get, next time I’ll have my lessons booked well in advance.

OP posts:
141mum · 08/02/2023 11:38

Take him to a food bank and show him how a lot of people are living,

XelaM · 08/02/2023 11:39

Blueeyedgirl21 · 08/02/2023 11:23

People talking like this kid is being abused or something because he’s being asked to do a few hours ski school so he can LEARN TO SKI on a wait for it… SKI HOLIDAY 😮😮😮😮

he thinks he’s better than he is and still needs teaching that’s the end of it ! It’s not childcare it’s not child cruelty it’s a ski trip

if you don’t like skiing or whatever or would’ve been your idea of hell as a child (why was every mumsnetter a ‘quiet clever child who preferred to read alone than speak to anyone’ or whatever, why was no one outgoing and sporty 🤷‍♀️)

Haha 😂 I agree with this.

And I was the least sporty kid there is, but I LOVED skiing! It was actually the one sport I enjoyed immensely as a kid. To be honest, I haven't met many/any kids who ho find skiing torture.

Straightomyhead · 08/02/2023 11:41

141mum · 08/02/2023 11:38

Take him to a food bank and show him how a lot of people are living,

How is this relevant to this situation or skiing?

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 11:42

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 11:35

Thanks for all the replies! We had a chat about it and I told him he can’t just announce he’s not going and get into a strop. I explained that if he has a point to make and a reasonable argument we can discuss it but there’s no flat out this is what I’m doing.

I took him out for an hour on the condition that he goes for the rest of the week which he has agreed to. We will all go out together this afternoon. He has lost his afternoon treat for the way he spoke to me.

Fair enough OP. Sounds like a positive outcome so let's hope he sticks to his side of the bargain tomorrow!

XelaM · 08/02/2023 11:43

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 11:35

Thanks for all the replies! We had a chat about it and I told him he can’t just announce he’s not going and get into a strop. I explained that if he has a point to make and a reasonable argument we can discuss it but there’s no flat out this is what I’m doing.

I took him out for an hour on the condition that he goes for the rest of the week which he has agreed to. We will all go out together this afternoon. He has lost his afternoon treat for the way he spoke to me.

Good compromise. But speak to the instructor and maybe get him moved up a group. As I said above, I have a very sporty/cocky daughter who picked ip skiing super quickly on her very first holiday and found ski school with beginners incredibly dull. She sneaked into a higher group and enjoyed it much more.

budgiegirl · 08/02/2023 11:44

It’s going on holiday and putting your child in a club whilst there

It's really, really not. It's giving your child the skills they need to enjoy the rest of their time on the holiday. Do you consider music lessons, football club, scouts etc to be childcare? Would you consider it childcare if your child had skiing lessons at the local dry slope? I bet (hope!) you wouldn't.

I've never used hotel clubs on holidays, mostly because my children weren't keen, but also because I want to spend time with them on holiday. But if I went skiing with them, I would absolutely send them to ski school, because it's essential that they can ski safely. Nothing to do with needing childcare!

StephMD89 · 08/02/2023 11:45

No ski school, no skiing!!

The fact that he thinks he knows it all and wants to whizz past everyone is the reason he is in the beginners class! Guarantee the instructor knows he has much to learn and won't put him in the next class. I'd also suspect the instructor has told him off which is why he is in a strop. Ski school is to learn how to ski, do it safely and not endanger yourself or others. By the end of the week anyway he will be going down all the slopes bar the black!

Everyone needs to learn to ski no matter what age they are, you can most definitely tell those on the slopes who don't have a clue how to ski.

budgiegirl · 08/02/2023 11:47

What kind of hotels do you stay in abroad? They teach things in those too in the hotels we’ve been to

And if your hotel offered a climbing wall, or sailing boats, wouldn't you also expect your child to have lessons before using them? For their own safety. Or would you let your child out on a lake in sailing boat on their own with no lessons, because you considered lessons to be childcare?

4thonthe4th · 08/02/2023 11:50

budgiegirl · 08/02/2023 11:47

What kind of hotels do you stay in abroad? They teach things in those too in the hotels we’ve been to

And if your hotel offered a climbing wall, or sailing boats, wouldn't you also expect your child to have lessons before using them? For their own safety. Or would you let your child out on a lake in sailing boat on their own with no lessons, because you considered lessons to be childcare?

I have already said that if the op can afford it, she could look into private tuition if it’s the school he isn’t enjoying.

also, sorry to embarrass you, but I did actually use the post you’ve quoted to point out skills are taught in hotels so I’m not sure why you’ve used it to try and use to prove me wrong? I was saying that skills are taught so yes, they are the same as ski school. Bit of a comprehension fail there 🙈

WiddlinDiddlin · 08/02/2023 11:56

This thread could have been half the length and twice the use if the people who have never been skiing and never experienced ski school had STFU!

There should be scope for him to move up to a different class or for the instructor in his class to challenge him more if they know he is bored and know what he needs to do - they can't know that if he stays in the hotel being a brat.

Hopefully he will realise in the next lesson theres a lot he doesn't yet know (find out from his instructor what they've actually covered, watch some of the lesson if you can, ideally without him realising!).

He sounds a lot like my sister and the year we got put into an adult class (right level but adults not kids) she REALLY struggled to keep up because she was all confidence and gungho but no technique, and that lack of technique meant she was working soooo much harder than everyone else, and wiping out much more often. It was, in hindsight, a good move but probably not something allowed now!