Super nanny

[Marmaladeoncrumpets]

Watched what I assume was an old show on tv today (is super nanny still going?) and fairly shocked by the tactics used. I remember seeing it on Sunday mornings many years ago, before dc and Dh and I saying to each other, what a nightmare having kids looked, as we lounged around probably hungover and with no commitments for the day 🤣
I do remember thinking she was great, but then, I had no kids or no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️
Did you ever follow her?

I'd just take him off, 'no biting' and try again, if it happened again I'd end the feed. No flicking needed.

I'm going to keep doing what's worked

You don't need to flick. One of mine used to bite and not let go, pulling them in closer made them open their jaw so they'd let go then I'd pull my shirt back down for 2-3 seconds so no boob, then try again and repeat as needed. Never ever felt rhe need to flick them

So even if not necessary to adjust the behaviour, you'll do something not in your child's best interests? I give up.

He's only done it like 3 times in the space of 4 months since he's had his teeth

So no need to flick then!!

Just what other breastfeeding mothers do and thought I'd give it a go. I'm gentle when I do it. Doesn't hurt him

You 'flick' a small baby on the face??

And you're on here talking about how your child is going to be raised good and right?

So why are you doing it?? I breastfed mine for a combined 4 years, never heard of this and never had any problem with biting bar the odd few, like you describe. Just pop him off.

What's your next step when the 5 year old refuses and slaps you before spitting in your face?

If it doesn’t hurt him it won’t act as a deterrent for the behaviour. It’s like when parents who hit their kids try to justify it by saying they ‘tap’ them. If the child won’t feel it then you might as well not do it at all. So if the child doesn’t get hurt it kind of seems like you’re doing it to vent your own frustration which is a bit odd. And for a child who has only just started cutting teeth (so a small baby) flicking them in their face is an odd and not great thing to do.

My child’s still super little so we haven’t got to the discipline stage yet.
This post is the first that I have heard that the naughty step/time out is not appropriate. What are you supposed to do instead?

How old is he? So you teach him not to hurt you by physically hurting him?

That's never happened to me but if it did I would assess it as described, I would also be considering whether there was something more going out to cause a child to lash out like that. Behaviour is communication and a child acting in a disregulated way is disregulated for a reason.

I really wouldn't expect or accept that behaviour at 5 ? Last time DS hit me he was probably 2, maybe just 3 (he is 18) Dd (now 16) never has. At 2 I would have said "stop it that hurts mummy " and withdrawn my attention. Actually I think that's what I'd do at 5 -walk away as my DM said " bad behaviour needs an audience". If there was another child I'd suddenly be very busy playing with/ reading to them.

And that is why we get it in childcare and school parents walks away at home child shoves another into desk and grabs what he wants at school. Injured child's unhappy parents saying what do you mean you ignored it.

I thought she was alright. Back to bed routine was good, having a routine etc

If you don't like the naughty step aspect fair enough but I never saw her 'bully' a child. I saw her bully stupid parents who deserved it.

She was categorically against any physical punishment and she would regularly engage with the kids asking them how they felt.

She used reward charts and was very much in favour of praising good behaviour and ignoring bad behaviour.

Also she was doing the naughty step without of control 6yr olds who were physically hitting and smacking siblings. She wasn't putting an 18mth old on the naughty step because they threw a toy in a tantrum. She would moreoften use distraction.

Plus she was dealing with really (whats the word that won't offend?) badly behaved kids - most people wouldn't need to use the tactics because you're not terrible parents who've allowed their kids to turn out so unruly.

There's a difference between how you'd handle an 8yr old having a tantrum once every few weeks, to a child being physically aggressive multiple times a day.

It was kind of the whole point of the show

Sorry I don't understand, I wouldn't leave a dysregulated child with another child. I think if a child has hit/spat at an adult that adult should absolutely withdraw their attention, but not leave the child in a position where they could hurt another child.

No it was based on having children that did as they were told 😂

I don’t like any method that involves dragging a child around. The naughty step just seemed to feed into that and I refuse to put bruises on my child wrestling them back and forth onto a step or mat or trying to get them into their room.

Consequences work far better for us. The child is free to ignore me however if they do they lose a privilege. So they have free will to stop bad behaviour or walk into a time out.

I do not physically abuse my son. I am gentle him. I actually got the idea from mams on here

To*

How is the parent walking away from the child any different from sending the child away (naughty step) when both involve ignoring/excluding the child? The second at least means the child is in a place where the impact of any destructive behaviour is minimised

But when you are offered a workable alternative, you refuse to take it in favour of flicking a tiny baby, who has no idea that biting is sore for you.