Super nanny

[Marmaladeoncrumpets]

Watched what I assume was an old show on tv today (is super nanny still going?) and fairly shocked by the tactics used. I remember seeing it on Sunday mornings many years ago, before dc and Dh and I saying to each other, what a nightmare having kids looked, as we lounged around probably hungover and with no commitments for the day 🤣
I do remember thinking she was great, but then, I had no kids or no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️
Did you ever follow her?

@Led9519 I see. That's where I differ from you then. I would say that it's not a time out if the kid can carry on wandering about, but to each his own and all that.

I always put my kids back where they were told to stay for however many minutes, until they sat there and did as they were told.

I'm a fantastic mam. I don't need anyones judgement. My son is loved and safe that's all that matters. There's really no need to bring up past shit that's beeb said.

Been*

I mean in that case you just wouldn’t do a time out though, would you? Like if the child is allowed to just get up and wander then you aren’t doing an ‘x minute time out’ at all.

But wouldn't you consider what the experts' views are on it and try a different approach that is less stressful all round and just as effective? And avoids shaming a small child who is not yet capable of impulse control, reflecting on their behaviours etc.

It would be like saying ‘I confiscate my child’s toy but if they want to play with it they can.’ In that case you aren’t confiscating it.

I certainly wouldn't view "what my mother has always done" as any sort of automatic indicator of what constitutes good parenting. My mum smacked us.

I normally stick them in their room so they can’t continue with the activity they were doing and realise they don’t get to ‘play’ if they’re naughty.

It really is working out what’s your parenting style and what works for the child.

Personally I think my parents did a good job on my sister and I.

I use their methods on the whole, with some tweaks where i think they could have done better. I'm not a bit interested in what experts have to say.

I'm not getting in to it. You do what you gotta do and I'll do what I'm gonna do. And will be doing the naughty step.

I got smacked and turned out alright. Don't have anything against my parents for doing it but obviously not going to do that.

So, please excuse my ignorance but what do you do instead of a 'naughty step' or time out?

Say a four, five or six year old throws a plate of food in a temper? Or stamps on a sibling's toy on purpose?

(Obviously it is a bad idea for a pre-verbal child or one who can't make the connection between behaviour and consequence.)

Would you not? I think it is worthwhile reading up on reasons behind things and going the informed route for my children's long-term emotional and mental health, and my own sanity, I wouldn't be able to keep returning a distressed toddler who's not capable of understanding or fully controlling their behaviour anyway. I guess we're all different.

I used to watch it religiously with my reluctant DH (bf at the time!). Safe to say we haven’t implemented any of her methods with our 5 DDs but even at the time I remember questioning a lot of it! I did like her though.

Poor kid.

All you’re doing is telling them you don’t want to deal with them when they’re mad/sad etc. and they have to figure shit out on their own (which they aren’t developmentally capable of doing so, because they need you to coregulate with them).

Parenting isn’t just about the easy parts you know.

Erm nope not poor kid. He's going to get raised right and loved.

When they do something naughty they are not sad.

The point was it was a short time out that the child kept coming out of. IF you use time out you can't give up have a cuddle and forget it.

I too turned out all right, I think, but it soured by relationship with my parents forever. I didn't use either smacking or the naughty step for my kids, who turned out great and used to get embarrassingly good school reports.

How can you have a time out with the kid wondering around doing what they want? Isn't that just saying do whatever you want child you kicked me never mind

I use techniques as I see appropriate at the time tbh. But if the words "you are going to stay there for 4 minutes" had left my mouth, that was what is going to happen, even if it took 90 minutes for them to do it.

My kids are 10 and 16 and they know I'm serious and will follow through with consequences, because I have always done so.

But like you say, we are all different and I don't think my parents did a bad job, so im ok with using them as a rule of thumb.

You grew up thinking it was okay for your parents to physically assault a child, that's pretty far from alright.

Yeah well I love my parents. And I can guarantee all parents did it at some point

Yes Emma, they often are, their behaviour, like our own when you think about, is most often a reflection of how they're feeling. So dealing with the feeling and helping them kindly through it, while preventing any hurtful or damaging behaviour, is much kinder. I wonder where you get your certainty that they're not sad when naughty? I assume you accept they might be angry? I'm hoping you don't think angry is not allowed.

Every programme I've watched has been brilliant. She sorts the parents out first. I bet all you saying she's rubbish have badly behaved kids

If you are tipping the bottle too steeply you can over feed via bottle before the baby realises they are too full.