One day notice to attend a wedding???

[Stardust35]

Received a verbal invite one day before.
Would you go?

Currently the situation I'm in.

I’m not from the UK and in my country it’s offensive so I would definitely not go, but I can see it’s different here. If you want to and it’s not too much faff, why not? I know I wouldn’t 😬

From the other side.. I married for the second time. It was a smallish wedding. We invited all the aunts and uncles who were getting older. We knew not all would want to come and totally understood, but wanted to ask them anyway.

When some turned us down, as expected, we were able to expand the friends invited. The wedding was all arranged in 3 months and a few days before we realised we could fit a few more guests in. I really wanted a couple to come so was really upfront about what had happened and they were delighted. I would have understood if they had thought they were an afterthought, but so happy they came.

Only if it was convenient and I liked them enough.

They’re not inviting you because they want you there, or they’d have invited you to begin with. No, they’re inviting you so the money they spent on food for the guest who dropped out isn’t wasted. They’re inviting you to help themselves, and they invited who they thought would come at the last minute and who would want the free meal.

Then they may have gone down the reserve list and others said no. Lord knows how low you are on the list.
Go if you're ok with that.

Spot on.

Yes, I would. They’ve asked you because they want you to be there. If you can, and would like to, go.

I don't get the obsession with always being first choice. There are always going to be people you know that don;t consider you their very closest of friends - doesn't mean they don't like you. You are are second choice - because obviously someone has dropped out and they thought you might like to come. Great - a day out, free food, drink, dancing - what's not to like ? You might meet some nice people and have fun. If it's a dud you can leave early.
so if it's not miles away and massively inconvenient, and you have something or can borrow something to wear, then I'd go. You don't need to get a present - that won't be expected at short notice - you could pick up a card if you have time today.

People get so uptight about invitations, all the angst about whether you have been considered top priority and super important. It's an invitation - an invitation means 'we'd like you to come if you can make it', despite it being a last minute invitation. The only question to ask yourself is 'do I fancy a day out at a wedding?'

Absolutely not .

You can want to invite someone but want/or feel obligated to invite other people ahead of that person. Most people have a limit on numbers. You might want to invite a cousin, or a friend you,ve recently become closer to, but the list is already full.

Depends on the type of wedding it was. If one of my friends called me and said “OK, I know this is out of the blue, but we’re getting married in town tomorrow! We’ve keeping it quiet but we’ve decided at the last minute we’d like a few of our mates there - nothing formal, just the ceremony and we’ll go for a few drinks/a meal afterwards. Totally understand if you can’t make it” then if I was free I’d be delighted to go. Not much planning required and just a fun, spontaneous afternoon with friends - great.

However, if someone phoned me 24 hours before a big white wedding that had been planned for two years and was a formal affair requiring heels, a fascinator and an out of town venue then it would be a no from me - firstly because that would be a lot more last-minute expense and effort for an event of a kind I don’t really enjoy, and secondly because presumably I was very much a C-list guest and therefore only invited because people had dropped out. Absolutely fine for the couple to invite me last-minute but for the latter reason I certainly wouldn’t feel I had to say yes.

Only if it was convenient, local and I liked them

Exactly what I think.

Sure, why not?

My best friend's sister invited me to her wedding a week beforehand as someone else had dropped out. I never expected to be invited in the first place and was flattered that she thought of me. I didn't go, but only because I was in the middle of exams, otherwise I'd have gone.

I invited someone to my wedding the day before after my cousin dropped out. He wasn't a close friend, but someone I liked who lived locally to where the wedding was.

This is exactly what I was going to say. If it was a last minute ‘we didn’t want any fuss’ wedding. Then I’d be all over it.

Big formal do, no.

I'm with you on this one, if I wasn't good enough to invite in the first place and you don't have the decent to say someone had cancelled and just been honest I wouldnt bother

Depends who they were and if convenient. But I would be feeling a bit "I'm only here to make up the numbers" and wouldn't bother with a thoughtful, expensive present. On balance, I'd probably decline. If you were really on a reserve list due to restricted numbers, wouldn't you already know about that?

Or you could take the glass half full approach and think “wow, I am first on their reserve list, I didn’t make the first cut due to numbers but as soon as there was space they thought of me. “

I wonder how many people pride themselves on being first cut invitees when the actual conversation went “ Oh god, do we really have to invite them both, I know we went to theirs but she is such a up your arse snob and thinks she is the bees knees, it’s always all about her, especially when she’s drunk. I like him, but she makes me cringe. I wish there was a way to just send him an invitation…..”

The money for the food has long gone, whether or not anyone eats it!

Indeed, but they'll be down on a gift.

You’ve given zero context here - and as you haven’t returned to the thread, I suspect this may be deliberate so you can reappear for an OMG “The bride is my SISTER! I was the only family member not invited!!” or similar moment.

On the off-chance that this wasn’t the plan, I’ll ask - how do you know the couple? Is one a close friend or family member who you’re furious with for not inviting you from the start? Or is it a cousin who’d have liked to invite you, but had to make the cut-off at aunts and uncles, and is now thinking you might like to join your parents? Or a couple in your wider circle who are having a small wedding, have had dropouts and thought “Ooh, maybe Mary and Joe would like to come instead?”

And where is the wedding? Ten minutes away in an Uber, or at your local pub? Or is it a three-hour drive involving an expensive overnight stay? Or in the middle of nowhere and you can’t drive?

How formal is the wedding? Can you get away with the dress you bought for NYE, or are they expecting you to follow a formal dress code?

This really isn’t a yes or no question.

I would go (and avoid Happy Valley spoilers!) When my son got married a couple of family members dropped out at the last minute and a couple of friends (who they really like but had to limit numbers) happily accepted the last minute invitation. It was lovely to see them and they would always have been welcome. They wouldn't invite you at all if they didn't want to see you so don't let being last minute option stop you , you might miss out on a fab day!

Someone's dropped out. You were a reserve. Is that what's bothering you? Don't be offended. If you'd like to go just

I have the same issue, got a text invite yesterday and the wedding is this evening.
The message said the bride had genuinely forgotten to send the invite.
I'm still in two minds but leaning towards not going.

Go, if you've got an outfit and can get there. It could be fun. You don't need a gift; and maybe it's true; or maybe they're regretting not inviting you.

Honestly, I wouldn't overthink this. Go. If it's awful, come home. Most weddings aren't. You could make new friends, you could have the best evening ever, you could get closer to the bride and groom. It's almost definitely going to be better than watching TV at home.