To ask for help- husband witnessed a death

[bingbangbongding]

Hi all,

Need help.

Husband was leaving work today and found a colleague dead in his car. He was about 50, was still warm. He asked passers by for help but no one would help him. Everyone had left work.

He called 999 and they got him to drag this man out of the car and perform CPR even though he said he was dead. It didn't work.

The ambulance and police arrived and the ambulance worked on him for a while. Police dismissed him immediately (didn't even want his details which I thought was weird).

He's absolutely shaken and has decided to get quite drunk (understandable).

Has anyone been through this?

How can I support him? I'm terrified he's going to get PTSD or something.

I had to help a guy who had been hit by a car (deliberately - ended in a murder conviction). He was clearly dead, I gave CPR but he had blood coming from the back of his head. Emergency operator tried to get me to turn him over to stem the bleeding and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it 😞

luckily ambulance was there pretty quickly and took over but it stuck with with me years. I don’t have PTSD but for a few months afterwards I used to occasionally dream about it.

your poor husband, it’s perfectly understandable that he was so upset and it’s natural for the first few days to dwell on it. But I’d say see how he gets on in a week or so, if he’s still struggling speak to employer or gp

The best fucking plot twist I've ever heard 😭😭

Your husband is amazing - he saved the guys life! It doesn’t mean that the event wasn’t traumatic though - I’m a work first aider and all of our trainers have said you should always check in on anyone who has administered cpr, whatever the outcome.

I hope he is okay, what a rollercoaster. And I’m praying the person he saved pulls through.

Wowsers, that must be pretty disconcerting for your husband (but in a good way), and I'm really pleased they told him.

Me and me dad had to help someone who had a car accident in front of us and I never found of what happened to the man involved.

Worth trying to facilitate him getting plenty of sleep - REM sleep (which happens in the early hours so better not to get up super early if possible) is one of the things that helps with processing horrible events - it essentially detaches the emotions from the memories so you can remember it without the horrible emotions attached.

Well done to your DH be nice to him for us will you. He should definitely get counselling if he needs it. There’sa thing where you wiggle your eyes and you forget past traumas

Your DH did an amazing thing.

Perhaps this man will survive, to go on and return to his family.

Perhaps he will not, but your DH may have given the man's family time to get to the hospital and say their goodbyes.

Either way, that's a pretty astonishing impact to have made on someone and their family.

Can I just say and I don’t pertain to be a medical expert. If this guy is alive, it would appear your husband giving him CPR has saved him. Because the first thing I learned when I did my CPR course is that you physically cannot give CPR to someone who’s heart is still beating as you will basically kill them.

If this is true OP your husband should consider himself a hero.

He just keeps shrugging and saying 'he's probably brain dead' and 'he'll probably die'

I keep saying 'if that happens that you've likely given his family a day to say their goodbyes'

He's definitely slumped today. The adrenaline has very much worn off.

Gosh that's freaky.

(3 months ago?) Teen DS (paperboy) phoned 911 & his dad when DS saw a customer lying motionless on floor inside home. DH arrived before ambulance. A neighbour (knew door combo) got them in.

I'm very proud that DS did the right calls. DS was fine but DH was rattled especially as 911 told him to try Chest compressions & DH felt freaky doing that, could see it was too late. Very glad when paramedics arrived & could escape.