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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sell the gift meant for DH?

139 replies

Watchamocauli · 03/02/2023 16:53

I recently ordered airpods from Work recognition website. I could have chosen a Kate Spade tote but DH said he would like the AirPods since I have them too. So ordered it few weeks ago. It arrived today.

Now last night, DH had a unusual strop - foot stomping while walking down the stairs saying me and DD (10) are ruining his life. And chose to sleep on the sofa. This was after watching Apprentice together.

DD as usual was trying to get in our bed and I threatened to take her devices. By that time he had settle in her bed. Then she went back to sleep in her own bed. He said she will still lose her devices. DD started crying and I said ok since you have gone back to your bed, the punishment is cancelled. He heard this a stormed off saying we have ruined his life.

in my defence, yesterday I was at a full day workshop in office after 3 years so was exhausted for any arguments or fights with DD

since this morning he has offered to make tea but no apology

OP posts:
4thonthe4th · 03/02/2023 16:55

What? This makes no sense. You missed out the reason your DD was being threatened with a punishment. The rest of it all sounds really childish.

GrazingSheep · 03/02/2023 16:56

Why would you sell the gift???

NuffSaidSam · 03/02/2023 16:57

4thonthe4th · 03/02/2023 16:55

What? This makes no sense. You missed out the reason your DD was being threatened with a punishment. The rest of it all sounds really childish.

She was trying to get into their bed. It's in the OP.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/02/2023 16:57

Sorry, but all of that sounds really absurd.

Barleysugar86 · 03/02/2023 16:57

You presumably like your husband usually and you've had some minor spat you'll probably forget tomorrow.

Feel free to put the airpods in a draw and give to him when you like him again but no you don't sell them.

To be honest I find when my husband is like this its usually because he's struggling with his depression or stress again and what he needs most is a cuddle and someone to make sure he's eating.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/02/2023 16:59

It's work recognition. What's he done for your workplace?

Leaving that aside, he acted like a dock but I'd have a conversation and tell him that rather than random acts of passive aggression.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/02/2023 16:59

Dick obviously

Coffeellama · 03/02/2023 16:59

Yeah you sound very immature wanting to sell his gift because you pissed him off. He sounds equally immature. Try having a grown up conversation about it all, you no, asking what his problem is, explaining how out of order it is to talk about you and the kids like that. Might be more productive than selling his airpods.

Bellalalala · 03/02/2023 17:01

So you got them and didn’t give them to him? Why?

and you are withholding them and want to sell it because he isn’t behaving as you feel is right? How would you feel if he did that to you?

Sounds like one of those things. Shit happens. No one bats an eyelid, here, when a woman loses her temper and has a strop.

Tell him you don’t like how he behaved. Discuss it. Then it’s done.

PotKettel · 03/02/2023 17:01

it all sounds a bit childish but as usual @MrsTerryPratchett nails it in her pp - and her follow up two word summary “dick obviously” might apply all round.

Your dd is 10, why is she trying to sleep in your bed?

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 03/02/2023 17:03

Is he always like this after watching The Apprentice? To be fair I think the is the effect Lord Sir Alan Sugar has on people.

JennyDarlingRIP · 03/02/2023 17:04

So he issued a punishment for DD who is ten, for getting out of get bed into yours and you rescinded it because she went back. Surely the punishment was for getting up in the first place she's ten not two. He issued the punishment it wasn't for you to undermine him. If he wanted to remove it that was for him to do. I'd hate it if DH did this to me.
He's then unreasonable for stamping his foot and sulking. You sound like a stroppy teenager I don't like him anymore I'm not giving him a birthday present....
Everyone in your house sounds like a nightmare

redskydelight · 03/02/2023 17:07

Well I'd be fairly pissed off I'd had to get out of bed and go somewhere else to accommodate a 10 year old, only to have to move again once I'd got settled.

But the whole post is bizarre, frankly.
Why did you use your work money to buy something for DH?
Why is the 10 year old trying to get into your bed?
you'll forgive your DD who behaved badly, but not your DH, for whom you say this is unusual behaviour?

is there even a resale market for air pods? do they really cost the same as a Kate Spade tote?

Coffeellama · 03/02/2023 17:09

JennyDarlingRIP · 03/02/2023 17:04

So he issued a punishment for DD who is ten, for getting out of get bed into yours and you rescinded it because she went back. Surely the punishment was for getting up in the first place she's ten not two. He issued the punishment it wasn't for you to undermine him. If he wanted to remove it that was for him to do. I'd hate it if DH did this to me.
He's then unreasonable for stamping his foot and sulking. You sound like a stroppy teenager I don't like him anymore I'm not giving him a birthday present....
Everyone in your house sounds like a nightmare

OP issued the threat if she didn’t go back to her bed, she went back, DH said she’s loosing devices anyway, OP said no she’s not cos she went back to bed.

I agree a 10 year old should stay their own bed but punishing immediately for it seems harsh, shel be afraid of coming through when scared or ill in the night.

GoodChat · 03/02/2023 17:11

You shouldn't have told her the punishment was cancelled. You should have told her you'll discuss it with dad.

BabyOnBoard90 · 03/02/2023 17:14

Confusing tale

4thonthe4th · 03/02/2023 17:21

Coffeellama · 03/02/2023 17:09

OP issued the threat if she didn’t go back to her bed, she went back, DH said she’s loosing devices anyway, OP said no she’s not cos she went back to bed.

I agree a 10 year old should stay their own bed but punishing immediately for it seems harsh, shel be afraid of coming through when scared or ill in the night.

Show quote history

I agree! I’m baffled that a child coming to their parents bed warrants a threat of confiscated devices :/ surely you just say “no dear, you’re 10, back to bed” why so dramatic? having said that, the whole thing sounds dramatic.

4thonthe4th · 03/02/2023 17:22

NuffSaidSam · 03/02/2023 16:57

She was trying to get into their bed. It's in the OP.

Show quote history

I can’t believe a child trying to get in her parents bed warrants a threat of confiscated devices. What a highly strung bunch!

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 03/02/2023 17:25

Why is a ten year old trying to get into your bed? Ten is way to old!

JennyDarlingRIP · 03/02/2023 17:26

OP says her daughter was trying to get into their bed as usual, this isn't a one off and at ten repeatedly getting out of bed warrants conseqences

ACynicalDad · 03/02/2023 17:27

Give him your old ones and keep the new ones.
Or give them to DD
Or keep them until his birthday.
I wouldn't sell them it will get worse - I wouldn't really give them to DD either.

TheHotdog · 03/02/2023 17:29

YABVU. Threats are fear based parenting and an awful way to parent.

Sounds like there’s lots of emotional issues with your entire family; threats, arguments, hiding gifts, issuing punishments etc.

afinishedkiss · 03/02/2023 17:29

JennyDarlingRIP · 03/02/2023 17:26

OP says her daughter was trying to get into their bed as usual, this isn't a one off and at ten repeatedly getting out of bed warrants conseqences

This. She’s 10!! Not a hope would I have a 10 year old climbing into my bed every night.

YouSoundLovely · 03/02/2023 17:32

TheHotdog · 03/02/2023 17:29

YABVU. Threats are fear based parenting and an awful way to parent.

Sounds like there’s lots of emotional issues with your entire family; threats, arguments, hiding gifts, issuing punishments etc.

Yep. And another PP's comment 'what a highly strung bunch' very apt too.

I think all your emotional temperatures, but especially yours and dh's, need to go down a few notches.

It seems strange to punish a 10yo for seeking parental closeness, tbh. My eldest was still coming into our bed at night at 8 or 9. He's now a very independent soon-to-be-18yo. His younger siblings didn't do it beyond 3 or 4. Different personalities.

Original poster
Watchamocauli · 03/02/2023 17:33

Wow that’s a bit harsh. PP calling me Immature, nightmare family

we are usually very sane and rational . But full time work, sleepless nights and active household does make us hyper emotional.

so to clarify
yes Kate Spade Tote is same price as airpods about £190 ish

my work gave me recognition its a site you can order randomly available things. I mentioned to DH airpods are available and I ordered them.

why do I want to sell them? So I can buy the stupid bag!!! I worked my ass off for that recognition value.

And I’m quite hurt that he said such words. I was tired being in office all day and had worked 12 hrs the day before. No energy to argue or fight

DD likes to sleep in my bed on weekends, no particular reason. She was given permission to Watch Apprentice with us and sleep late.

I threatened her with a consequence and it worked.

we live in small house both bedrooms on same floor, takes exactly 10 steps from DD bed to ours!!

OP posts: