To sell the gift meant for DH?

[Watchamocauli]

I recently ordered airpods from Work recognition website. I could have chosen a Kate Spade tote but DH said he would like the AirPods since I have them too. So ordered it few weeks ago. It arrived today.

Now last night, DH had a unusual strop - foot stomping while walking down the stairs saying me and DD (10) are ruining his life. And chose to sleep on the sofa. This was after watching Apprentice together.

DD as usual was trying to get in our bed and I threatened to take her devices. By that time he had settle in her bed. Then she went back to sleep in her own bed. He said she will still lose her devices. DD started crying and I said ok since you have gone back to your bed, the punishment is cancelled. He heard this a stormed off saying we have ruined his life.

in my defence, yesterday I was at a full day workshop in office after 3 years so was exhausted for any arguments or fights with DD

since this morning he has offered to make tea but no apology

This thread has attracted quite dramatic responses. As someone brought up in Asian culture we don’t follow British parenting that does not make us shit parents.
I think the dramatic one here is you OP.
Whinging about getting your husband some air pods instead of you getting a bag for yourself then dragging your daughter into the argument.
It is nothing to do with Asian vs British parenting and everything to do with you being a drama lama.

so DD asked - did I get AirPods for her 😀 the confidence she has!!

I'm not sure "confidence" is the word I'd be using here. Stop dragging your primary-aged daughter into your marital spats, she is a child not your marriage counsellor! Can you not see how inappropriate this is?

Also you have a single child - no matter how busy her life at school it is no excuse for all this drama and sleepless nights. At 10 she should be in bed before 10 p.m. on a school night, not watching The Apprentice. If you can't manage all her activities, cut some out, she'll survive! And stop seeing parenting her as some kind of business negotiation - it's not cute or to be admired that she thinks she can bargain her way around anything and that you think this is normal.

Absolutely this.

I can't work out from your message what actually happened.

I see DH could have afforded the AirPods. He should therefore now buy you a bag of the same price/status as, otherwise, you wouldn’t have a reward for your hard work.

This thread has attracted quite dramatic responses. As someone brought up in Asian culture we don’t follow British parenting that does not make us shit parents.

Being Asian does not make you a shit parent.

Arguing in front of a child, telling that child that their dad won’t get his earbuds because he’s been rude, getting her to be the one to make you and DH talk, acting like pathetic children whilst your 10 year old acts like the mature adult etc - makes you both shit parents.

It’s not Asian parenting.
It’s a dysfunctional household that is having a massive impact on your child.

The fact that you say the responses are dramatic says it all really.
You are not even bothered about trying to see how your child is feeling.

You think that you and your DH have busier lives than everyone else because you both work FT and your child goes to school - this is the case for millions of parents.

Your poor DD. Parent her and stop putting her in the middle of your dysfunctional relationship.

You should never involve your DD in your arguments and expect her to act as peacemaker
No wonder she feels insecure I wouldn't LoL and say she's confident, I'd be ashamed

“so DD asked - did I get AirPods for her 😀 the confidence she has!!

I said its for her Dad but he is now not getting it because he was rude to me.

she dragged DH and made him say sorry. He said he was tried of getting caught between drama of DD and me.

so he got the airpods. But he got me ice cream

Confidence? 🤨
She’s either a perfect normal kid chancing her arm, or a spoilt brat. But I do see that as an indication of confidence to boast about.

As for dragging her into it, you really need to reflect on how piss poor that parenting is.

I’ve asked MNHQ to delete many of my post since this thread has gone into parenting territory than originally intended to “should I react to emotional hurt”

if MNHQ decides to take the thread down be offended.

Typo !!

I meant don’t be offended. I have shared too much to be comfortable with this thread up here.

thanks all

@Cocobutt

I always wondered why poster said so little about their situation while posting. This thread has taught me to add little context. Because posters like you will take those things and spite it back unkindly.

classic misogyny- my feelings don’t count. My right to react doesn’t count.

all you thought about was mocking airpods and my wonderful career.

BTw my DD is doing fabulous in all aspects of life so I don’t need your parenting lessons

I always wondered why poster said so little about their situation while posting. This thread has taught me to add little context. Because posters like you will take those things and spite it back unkindly.

classic misogyny- my feelings don’t count. My right to react doesn’t count.

Throwing out words like ‘Asian’ or ‘misogyny’ isn’t going to make me turn a blind eye to your shit parenting.

You care more about yourself and your feelings than your poor DD.

If I started a thread and posters were saying that my child was being affected by my behaviour, I would be shocked and upset but I would take it on board and make immediate changes.

You won’t do this because you and your DH’s feeling and childish relationship (which doesn’t work) comes before your child.

Your replies prove this as instead of thinking about any mistakes you’ve made, you have just asked MN to delete them as you think you’ve shared too much.

You literally care more about a handbag and AirPods and your childish games with DH than a poor 10 year old stuck in the middle of you both.
You can’t say she’s doing fabulous in life when your entire thread says the exact opposite.

Don’t be surprised if resents you both for the rest of her life.

You all sound like children tbh