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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go to an abroad Wedding?

143 replies

prettyrainbows · 02/02/2023 12:10

DH's niece is looking to get married abroad next year, possibly Greece or Italy.. He isn't particularly close to her, but is quite close to his sister.

I really don't want to use annual leave to attend a wedding.

It will cost a small fortune. AIBU?

OP posts:
AnnoyedFromSlough · 02/02/2023 12:13

I might go, depending on who it was and where it was and what it would cost. That's a lot of factors to take into account which probably means on balance, I would be more likely to stay at home.

As is often said on here 'it's an invitation, not a summons'.

Bumble84 · 02/02/2023 12:14

I wouldn’t no and I wouldn’t feel bad about it either.

SmileWithADimple · 02/02/2023 12:15

Yes, if my niece was getting married abroad I'd try to attend. But I also wouldn't feel bad about saying no if it was too expensive / inconvenient.

MistyRock · 02/02/2023 12:15

I wouldn't. I'd rather spend the money on things with my immediate family, I'm at the stage where I wouldn't even bother with a hen do unless it was a night out somewhere local.

BlueBlueBlueWinter · 02/02/2023 12:17

When people plan a wedding abroad, then tend to accept that not everyone they would like to be there can attend. You can absolutely decline, especially if it's not somewhere you may want to tag a few extra days on to make it a proper holiday.

Merryoldgoat · 02/02/2023 12:17

No I wouldn’t.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 02/02/2023 12:18

It would depend who was getting married, where and why.

My DN is dating an Italian girl with a massive family. Totally expect that if they get hitched it'll be in Italy. I would go.

One of DH's nieces is getting married on a Carribean island neither she nor her partner have ever been to, in the hottest and most expensive part of the year. We're not going.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/02/2023 12:18

Nope- only my childs

VapeVamp12 · 02/02/2023 12:19

Nope.

NowThatIThink · 02/02/2023 12:19

Honestly, OP, this is one you need to decide yourself, depending on your own finances, annual leave capacity and actual wishes.

I've gone to weddings in Italy, France, the US, Hungary and India, but none of those were out of a sense of obligation, and I could afford the money and time.

BluntWithAC · 02/02/2023 12:20

It would depend on my circumstances rather than anything else.

If I could afford it, destination I would enjoy and a nice couple than sure.

GoodChat · 02/02/2023 12:21

I would if I could, but if you don't want to waste your annual leave then don't.

stargirl1701 · 02/02/2023 12:21

I was happy to when I wasn't a parent. A great excuse for a party and a short holiday!

Now, as a parent, it's too much hassle.

Once the DC are adults, I'll be happy to go again.

PhoebeBridger · 02/02/2023 12:21

I have been and loved it. It was in a beautiful place, I could afford it and we had a brilliant holiday with a wedding thrown in. Wouldn’t hesitate to go again if we had the money

Tiredforfive45 · 02/02/2023 12:23

Absolutely not. I hate weddings at the best of times. I certainly wouldn’t want to go to all that hassle and expensive for one!

thaisweetchill · 02/02/2023 12:23

It's up to you really but we went to a wedding in Cyprus a few years back for a friend and it was so lovely and relaxed. We
made a holiday out of it and didn't stay at the hotel they were at.

LIZS · 02/02/2023 12:24

If it was somewhere you might choose to holiday and affordable in terms of finances and time possibly.

Daisy95 · 02/02/2023 12:26

I got married abroad in Mexico! We invited everyone, however made it very clear we didn't expect anyone to come and we're having a party back home when we came back.
We actually had 40 people join us! Which we were so amazed and felt so special for them all to join. We honestly never ever expected it and I think anyone who gets married abroad should expect no one to come.
So I believe you should only ever go if you want & can afford to, you should never go to to please the couple in my opinion!

pointythings · 02/02/2023 12:26

It depends on who and where. I have, it was a much loved cousin and she got married in the Italian Alps. I took the kids out of school too. No regrets, it was one of the best long weekends ever.

Twizbe · 02/02/2023 12:27

I have gone to weddings abroad. We just made a holiday out of it.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 02/02/2023 12:28

Yes. I’ve flown 13hrs for a friends wedding and then made a holiday out of it with the friends I flew with. It was amazing.

Yarrawonga · 02/02/2023 12:28

It would depend on who was getting married and whether it was in a place I wanted to visit.

I was invited to a colleague/friend’s wedding in China and would have gone had I not needed to be at another wedding in the UK 36 hours later.

LuckySantangelo35 · 02/02/2023 12:30

MistyRock · 02/02/2023 12:15

I wouldn't. I'd rather spend the money on things with my immediate family, I'm at the stage where I wouldn't even bother with a hen do unless it was a night out somewhere local.

@@MistyRock

not everything has to be with or for your immediate family

you might find an abroad wedding or a hen do actually fun!

user1471548941 · 02/02/2023 12:31

Totally depends. One of my former friends got married abroad, purely to have a cheaper wedding- we couldn’t afford the same resort and bride wasn’t happy she’d have to pay extra to let us in as she wasn’t charged for any other guests who stayed in the same resort etc- thought that was super stingy- if I invited people to a wedding abroad, the least I could do was pay for their meal, wine etc! That one was a mistake and affected the friendship. At the time I was single and struggling for money and really didn’t appreciate the lack of consideration- it was a stretch for me to go at all, let alone let someone else chose the accommodation etc.

My husband however, has friends all across the country, right into Scotland and we got married where we live, in my home town on the South Coast. Many of them made the long drive to join us for our wedding, were awesome guests and lovely friends. For these people we are doing the same- either heading to Scotland/North England for their weddings or for one going to Greece- we can afford it without having to make it our only holiday of the year, we like the people and value the friendship, it might not be somewhere we would have chosen for a holiday but I’m sure we will enjoy 5 days on an island with friends. We have no kids and no other serious demands on our Annual Leave.

AuntieSoap · 02/02/2023 12:32

Yes, if I could afford it. We've done it before to Italy and based our summer holiday around it. If it's in a nice place and you can, why not? It could be lovely.

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