Is anyone else afraid of breastfeeding?

[flawless29]

I faced a difficult decision at week 34 of pregnancy, after investing hours researching and thinking about breastfeeding. Initially, I felt strongly that I did not want to breastfeed, which may seem immature, but it was my genuine and honest feeling.

I spoke with my midwife about the benefits of breastfeeding for both me and my baby. Logically this made perfect sense to me. Yet emotionally, thought of breastfeeding made me feel awkward and shy – so much so that I didn't even want anyone else in the room when feeding.

On the other hand, formula-feeding came with its own worries such as not being able to provide the best nutrition for my baby or missing out on certain experiences only available through breastfeeding.

The majority of my family is preoccupied with work or school making it hard for me to discuss this difficult decision with someone close by. Feeling isolated, I wondered if I was too selfish if I decided not to breastfeed and go for formula-milk instead?

Breast is best so I think it shouid be encouraged and at least given a go if medically possible.

But it is absolutely your choice and no one should be shamed by it.

Never repulsed by bf - everyone is more than capable of making their own decisions. For our family formula was best.

Fed is best - breast is best gives a negative message to those who can’t or decide not to bf

I'm a big advocate of bf but this is so true. If you are unhappy it won't be of any benefit to baby. Do what makes you happy, best wishes

Fed is bare minimum. You don’t get cookies for not starving your child.

Breastfeeding can be difficult to start with and it's not because you're a rubbish mum, it's because it can be hard, and painful and your baby might not latch right. It's easy to stop. However, if you get past that part at the beginning, it's worth it as it's the laziest activity you can do. No cleaning, no warming, no measuring and no waiting for baby. You can walk and feed if you figure that one out. The boobs are these magic things that make everything better for your baby.
It is entirely your choice though. That's the gift of being the mum is that you can choose. If you decide with ff then try to give your baby the colostrum which is the best milk, but don't stress yourself. If it's right, you'll know. If it's not right - there's a solution out there for you.

🙄
Maybe some people just don't want to martyr themselves when having a totally shit time and there's a perfectly good alternative 👍

Fed is a bare minimum whether it be breast or formula. Those babies will still grow up wanting more fries and pints of beer!

Breastfeeding can be hard - but we do need to stop talking like everyone always finds it hard

It’s entirely up to you.

As long as your baby is fed, that’s all that matters.

DD wasn’t breast fed and neither was I. No issues.

I tried it, (milk didn’t come in for a week in any case) and I didn’t enjoy it. It was painful, she hated the nipple, it didn’t work, we went back to bottle.

Wait and see what happens, you may have an urge to try or you may think nope I’ll take a bottle thanks. It’s fine either way.

Before I had DD I was a bit weirded out by the whole concept of breast feeding. I just couldn't imagine feeling ok with the sensations and everything. Then I had her and it just worked. I'm not saying it wasn't a little weird at first but it was so amazing that didn't matter any more. We've been going strong for 4 years now and I'm so glad I gave us a chance to try.

I also couldn't comprehend feeding in front of other people and after a while it just stopped mattering and with a bit of practice you can be pretty discrete.

So my genuine advice would be to give it a try and see how you get on.

But! It's no one's decision but yours and if you decide you don't want to then that is absolutely fine. It doesn't make you selfish or any less of a mother or anything else some idiots may say to you so don't beat yourself up over whichever decision you make.

Have to say though, given the OP claimed to want to "discuss" and hasn't returned to the thread since, I'm beginning to suspect we have been set up in hopes of a bunfight breaking out. Quite pleased that for once on this topic there hasn't really been one, despite some difference of opinion.

I wouldn’t think about it again until the baby was born. I wasn’t fussed about breast feeding with my first over 20 years ago. I had a long, traumatic labour and wasn’t overly interested in my baby when he was finally born. The midwife kind of plonked him on my chest and showed me what to do without even asking me what I wanted. It felt really alien and I was a bit freaked out. He was a great feeder though and latched on immediately. I ended up feeding him for a year. Try not to over think it. You don’t need to decide now.

Do you think Is it easy to respond while I am still processing all the information? Nevertheless, I am deeply grateful for the abundant support from this community.

Thank you for the support and messages. They've made me feel less alone and have given me comfort. I'm still figuring out what's best for me and my baby when it comes to breastfeeding.
For now, I have decided to take things as they come. I will listen to my body and my instincts. Your kind words have put my mind at ease, and I feel grateful to have such a supportive community behind me

Breastfeeding was my favourite physical thing to do. I guess it’s different for every woman, and I don’t know if I was just lucky or whatever, but it put me in the same relaxed semi-euphoric fuzzy state as post-orgasm. But unlike an orgasm, it lasted as long as the feed lasted, which for my newborn could be several hours (she liked to snooze while she ate).

Perhaps you’ll have problems, I dunno, I don’t want you to have high expectations and then be disappointed. But often people only put negative experiences on the internet and you should know that breastfeeding can feel incredible.

??

What on earth are "forever chemicals"?

This is what I found on internet :

Forever chemicals refer to a group of persistent organic pollutants (POPs) known as PFAS (Per- and Polyfluoroalkyl Substances). They are man-made chemicals that are extremely resistant to breaking down in the environment and can persist for long periods of time. These chemicals have been widely used in various industries, including food packaging and as an ingredient in food products, such as formula milk. In formula milk, PFAS can leach into the milk from packaging materials, and can also be found in some ingredients used in the formula. The health effects of PFAS exposure are still not fully understood, but some studies have linked PFAS exposure to a variety of health issues, including cancer, thyroid problems, and developmental issues in infants.

Thanks @flawless29

Unsure why @DealOrNoelsDeal is claiming that it's breast milk that's full of "forever chemicals" then.

Strange.

See i dont think this is helpful.

You are vulnerable and all over the place when pregnant.
I was pushed into it with all the "give it a try" chat.

What exactly is "a try" and when will you know you "tried" "enough" ???

Having been talked into "giving it a try"
Then i listened to the "it gets easier" crowd.
Then i got told how it helped you bond. (Assocating your baby with pain and failure surprisingly did not help me bond)
Then i had the "give up if you want to theres no shame" chats. (This didnt feel great or ring true as "Giving up" inherently implies failure!!!)

I wasted 7-10hours a day for 4 months making myself miserable and panicking about how much they had.. their growth... was the tongue tie properly corrected?
Most Midwives know little to nothing on breastfeeding which i find bizarre. they just give generic platitudes and make encouraging sounds 🤷🏻‍♀️

Even if you find it easy sounds like you dont want to breastfeed...

Honestly do what you want...

Just do what you want, neither is right or wrong. I had no intention of breast feeding and just went straight to formula. Baby is 9 months now and thriving and I have no regrets.

Personally I loved breastfeeding. I had no pain at all and had happy hormones during each feed. So it may not be anything to fear (although I know for many it is difficult)! So it may be worth giving it a try, as it can be lively and so convenient. But if you decide not to, absolutely zero judgement here… your body, your choice

*lovely

amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/feb/15/forever-chemicals-breastfeeding-contamination-pfas

Theres studies and journals you can read about it, but this is an easy to read article.

I breast fed my boys, it’s not like I’m fully against it or anything. I just think we should all be informed about what we are putting in our babies so we can make informed decisions.

Give it a go - so the baby gets the colostrum - then if it does not feel right for you, go on to FF.

BF is very much more convenient, but if it is not right for you, then it will not seem that way to you.