To think my 16 year old son should not be able to date someone in their late 20’s?????

151 replies

Gosling876 · 01/02/2023 21:08

Recently dealing with a nasty piece of work who is molesting what is literally a child. Man in his late 20’s pursuing and successfully now dating my teenage son who is in SCHOOL and being subjected to a relationship with a man in late 20s. DS is far too young to consent to this kind of relationship and it’s completely ick factor. Sister told me that age gaps are common in same sex relationships and quoted various celebrity examples. Again doesn’t make it any less disgusting.

how do I stop this adult man stop meeting my child? My son wants to sleep over his house which is out of order and I’m really interested in whether social services would want to know and any advice anyone has on how to deal with this predator.

OP posts:

MaybeSmaller · 02/02/2023 14:28

DontMissHisJowls · 01/02/2023 23:22

You're right to be concerned. Being pragmatic, perhaps the best thing you could do would be to advise him to pop into the local sexual health clinic. It's a pretty standard thing to do for young gay men. There he would be offered STI screening, vaccinations and pre-exposure prophylaxis for HIV and he'll also get a safeguarding assessment at his age. If it comes to light about the older partner, the clinic is likely to be able to signpost to further support and information, to refer into childrens services if they are concerned and sometimes, by working with social services, they may hold info on older predatory people who are known to police/social services/health etc. This way your son gets the health input he needs and someone else - not you - can give him the advice and support he definitely needs in relation to the age gap. Anyone under 18 who reports an age gap over 4 years will have a more detailed assessment as statistically, it is a risk factor for sexual exploitation.

This is really good advice and I hope OP follows it.

The OP peppered her post with terms like "ick factor", "disgusting", "nasty piece of work", "molesting", "predator". None of this will even remotely relate to her son's feelings about his own relationship, and talking about her son's partner in this way is only likely to push him further away and into the arms of this man.

If OP keeps him on side and frames it as a matter of sexual health then maybe he'll listen.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7