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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask school to replace shoes

321 replies

NCshoess · 31/01/2023 17:25

4 year old ds is in reception, he got shoes for Christmas that he loves and has been wearing them every day. they are light up superhero shoes which is allowed, many kids have them.

Friday he comes home crying in his gym shoes saying he was kicking his feet to make the shoes flash so the teacher took them away. I was going to ask about it yesterday but my sister picked him up.

Today I asked his teacher she said she took them away, but then looking in the classroom she can't find them. I asked where they were and she said they might turn up.

am I being unreasonable to ask them to replace his shoes if they can't find them...these were shoes he was asking for for ages, was so happy when he got them for Christmas and has been crying about having them taken away. I can't afford to buy him new ones atm...I understand taking them away for the day but not to give them back and then lose them is too far.

OP posts:
Princesspollyyy · 31/01/2023 17:28

Omg!! They might turn up??

I would go down the school, ask to speak to the head and say you want your son's school shoes back now!!!

That's completely unacceptable.

MajorCarolDanvers · 31/01/2023 17:29

YANBU

It's not good enough for the teacher to confiscate property and then shrug after loosing it.

CeciliaMars · 31/01/2023 17:29

If the school really can't find them anywhere, have checked all of the classrooms and the lost property, then yes I think they should replace them. Maybe save flashing shoes for the weekend trainers next time - they are quite distracting!

Princesspollyyy · 31/01/2023 17:29

Also you being able or not being able to afford them doesn't even come into it. You don't have to replace them.

KItBattingGlove · 31/01/2023 17:30

He should have been given them back at the end of the day when she confiscated them. I would go to whoever is next above her and complain. She has lost the shoes, you cannot just say they might turn up, this is what you say when children misplace something, not teachers.

FOJN · 31/01/2023 17:30

Yes the school should replace them. If the teacher confiscates property then he/she assumes responsibility for it's safe keeping.

Nimbostratus100 · 31/01/2023 17:31

I hate confiscating precious things, and am aware, that if I do, it is my responsibility to look after the items very carefully, and I would replace them if I lost them.

The teacher absolutely needs to replace them

Princesspollyyy · 31/01/2023 17:31

What a terrible teacher.

Luckingfovely · 31/01/2023 17:32

The school must absolute replace them. Really poor show on the teacher's part.

Stopthebusplease · 31/01/2023 17:32

Bloody outrageous! I think the teacher who took them from him should be responsible for reimbursing you, as it was her responsibility, as an adult and a teacher, to ensure that they were returned to him at the end of the day.

LoveTheSilence · 31/01/2023 17:33

They might turn up? What a terrible attitude. The teacher should feel awful and be looking everywhere for them. And yes, if they’re not found, I think it’s for school to replace them in this case.

DashboardConfessional · 31/01/2023 17:34

That's awful. What did you say?!

namechange1487 · 31/01/2023 17:35

I had similar with a private nursery all the time. Not clothes or shoes confiscated, just missing and a shrug of 'hope they turn up'.

Never got compensated.

Hope you do as teacher taking it puts full responsibility on them.

Princesspollyyy · 31/01/2023 17:35

When she said 'they might turn up', did she seem bothered at all? Do you think she was quietly stressing? Did you say anything in response?

I would have said I want the shoes now please or I would like to speak to your headteacher.

afinishedkiss · 31/01/2023 17:35

Dreadful attitude... they MIGHT turn up??? Is she for real! YANBU!

Alexandernevermind · 31/01/2023 17:35

As it was the teacher's direct action that causes them to be lost, then school should replace. Good luck though!

Overthebow · 31/01/2023 17:37

The teacher should replace them herself. Go to the head tomorrow and complain.

PAFMO · 31/01/2023 17:38

Why didn't the person who picked him up on Friday ask where his shoes were? Given that the child was upset and knew his shoes had been confiscated? Or the person who took him yesterday morning? Presumably there is a handover so even though nobody bothered asking on Friday or Monday your sister could have if you'd asked her to.

That said, yes, if the shoes can't be found, then you should get the money for some more. I'd speak to the school office Maybe. Maybe don't wear them for school though, as despite him loving them, they were clearly irritating the teacher.

Heyahun · 31/01/2023 17:39

Tbf @namechange1487 a nursery is different as there are so many little children who need clothes to be changed regularly - hats gloves etc when they go outside so it’s more understandable that stuff goes missing there

I send my daughter to nursery with primary clothes that I don’t care if they get lost 🙈 and we are warned not to bring anything precious in as it’s easily mixed up / goes home with wrong child

a school though - that’s unacceptable

what shoes did he come home in if she took the ones he was wearing ??

WombatChocolate · 31/01/2023 17:40

Best thing would be to email (so it’s in writing) and consider copying in the Head.

Dont make a big thing about it, but push them to find the shoes and to consider that it was they who took them away, if you’re sure that was the case.

’Dear Miss X
I am just following up on our conversation about Y’s shoes. I understand that you confiscated them on Friday following his silly behaviour. We quite understand that and have spoken to him about it. However, we were concerned that we weren’t able to get them back today when I came to school. They were new at Christmas and expensive and we need Y to keep wearing them for the rest of the year. Please could I ask you to arrange for him to have his shoes back tomorrow. I’d be very grateful if you’re able to confirm that will happen.

Thanks v much’

This doesn’t raise the issue if school paying for them. There is no need. You just need to make clear an expectation that they are returned. If the school is unable to do this, they will have to acknowledge it and then address that issue.

I’d imagine the shoes will be returned.

If the teacher tells you they have been lost, I would certainly involve the Head. I wouldn’t ask for money but I would ask the school what they are going to do about the fact they confiscated the shoes and can’t now return them. Put the ball in their court.

Good luck. I’d imagine you’ll have them back speedily.

LakeTiticaca · 31/01/2023 17:40

Give them a time limit to find them. Then they pay to replace

Pinkypurplecloud · 31/01/2023 17:41

Normally I’d say it’s just par for the course and things get lost, but since the teacher removed them, yes you should be reimbursed. They’re almost certainly not lost though, they’re probably just in lost property or someone moved them. I assume they’re named….

If I was that HT I’d immediately ban flashing shoes though. They’re distracting and annoying and the teacher was right to take them off your son. She just shouldn’t have lost them afterwards.

2reefsin30knots · 31/01/2023 17:43

What kind of a shit-show is her classroom that she can't find them?? Surely confiscating clothing from a 4yo, who would presumably have been upset, would be quite a memorable event.

Hankunamatata · 31/01/2023 17:43

We're the shoes not in his gym bag?

Tbh if he was massively distracted by them I can see why the teacher made him swap them.

Save the light up shoes for home

ArightFruityLoaf · 31/01/2023 17:43

LakeTiticaca · 31/01/2023 17:40

Give them a time limit to find them. Then they pay to replace

Fuck a time limit.

Replacement immediately.

Don't be fobbed off. They will rely on you going away.

I would be onto them every day until a new replacement appears.