Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask school to replace shoes

321 replies

NCshoess · 31/01/2023 17:25

4 year old ds is in reception, he got shoes for Christmas that he loves and has been wearing them every day. they are light up superhero shoes which is allowed, many kids have them.

Friday he comes home crying in his gym shoes saying he was kicking his feet to make the shoes flash so the teacher took them away. I was going to ask about it yesterday but my sister picked him up.

Today I asked his teacher she said she took them away, but then looking in the classroom she can't find them. I asked where they were and she said they might turn up.

am I being unreasonable to ask them to replace his shoes if they can't find them...these were shoes he was asking for for ages, was so happy when he got them for Christmas and has been crying about having them taken away. I can't afford to buy him new ones atm...I understand taking them away for the day but not to give them back and then lose them is too far.

OP posts:
PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:50

SeasonFinale · 31/01/2023 18:45

Tell me the cost of the issue fee for the value of the shoes? Show me that they have followed pre action protocol and then reevaluate whether your suggestion is rational. (Clue - it still isn't).

Show quote history

Assuming the shoes cost no more than £300, the fee for a small claim is £35, probably about half the cost of the average pair of shoes, but you can include the fee in your claim. Well worth it in my opinion.

At no point have I suggested the OP should take that route before exhausting other options.

ortonym · 31/01/2023 18:50

JellyfishandShells · 31/01/2023 18:48

That’s a point - were they ‘confiscated’ - or was the child told to go and change into his PE shoes, and he put them down somewhere instead of putting them into the gym bag ?

I’m surprised that a school allows shoes like that as part of their uniform policy.

Show quote history

The OP says "teacher took them away".

Mrsuntidy · 31/01/2023 18:52

Teacher here and on this occasion, yes I think the school should replace them.

SeasonFinale · 31/01/2023 18:53

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:50

Assuming the shoes cost no more than £300, the fee for a small claim is £35, probably about half the cost of the average pair of shoes, but you can include the fee in your claim. Well worth it in my opinion.

At no point have I suggested the OP should take that route before exhausting other options.

Show quote history

And at no time did I say the OP shouldn't ask for reimbursement but still not rational to sue the school. Spectacular "that parent" behaviour. 🙄

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:54

SeasonFinale · 31/01/2023 18:53

And at no time did I say the OP shouldn't ask for reimbursement but still not rational to sue the school. Spectacular "that parent" behaviour. 🙄

Show quote history

I'm not a parent, but if someone owes me money and I have exhausted all other options, I will sue them no matter who they are.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/01/2023 18:55

There is some serious lack of comprehension on this thread. It's staggering.

The shoes are permitted.
The teacher confiscated them.
The teacher is now unable to locate them in order to return them.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 31/01/2023 18:56

WTF!!! That’s disgraceful, absolutely someone else needs to pay for them to be replaced

TheNoodlesIncident · 31/01/2023 18:56

Of course the teacher should not have mislaid his shoes, and needs to look thoroughly for them.

But they are not appropriate shoes. It's school, not a playgroup. It might not state directly in the uniform policy anywhere that flashing light shoes are forbidden, probably because they trust that parents understand that this type are not appropriate for school. They are very distracting, both for the wearer and everybody else present. I know it's Reception and not a GCSE class, but it still isn't right that one pupil should be allowed to wear things that distract the rest of the class. The teacher must have been so irritated. There are enough distractions in class that can't be helped without adding something totally avoidable.

(I do have sympathy as I took a Britains pony to school to fiddle with under the table; it was discovered and confiscated and I didn't get it back, which I'm still vaguely irked about. But I understood that I shouldn't have had it there in the first place, so I didn't complain. But I do still want my Shetland back now)

SeasonFinale · 31/01/2023 18:57

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:54

I'm not a parent, but if someone owes me money and I have exhausted all other options, I will sue them no matter who they are.

Show quote history

Yes and I am guessing you aren't a lawyer either Grin

mamaduckbone · 31/01/2023 18:59

Normally I'm very anti-give-the-school-a-hard-time but on this occasion YANBU. If the school cannot find them then yes, they should replace them.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:59

SeasonFinale · 31/01/2023 18:57

Yes and I am guessing you aren't a lawyer either Grin

Show quote history

You don't need a lawyer to use the Small Claims Court.

ortonym · 31/01/2023 18:59

TheNoodlesIncident · 31/01/2023 18:56

Of course the teacher should not have mislaid his shoes, and needs to look thoroughly for them.

But they are not appropriate shoes. It's school, not a playgroup. It might not state directly in the uniform policy anywhere that flashing light shoes are forbidden, probably because they trust that parents understand that this type are not appropriate for school. They are very distracting, both for the wearer and everybody else present. I know it's Reception and not a GCSE class, but it still isn't right that one pupil should be allowed to wear things that distract the rest of the class. The teacher must have been so irritated. There are enough distractions in class that can't be helped without adding something totally avoidable.

(I do have sympathy as I took a Britains pony to school to fiddle with under the table; it was discovered and confiscated and I didn't get it back, which I'm still vaguely irked about. But I understood that I shouldn't have had it there in the first place, so I didn't complain. But I do still want my Shetland back now)

Appropriate or not, they are allowed.
Difference is that your pony wasn't.

ortonym · 31/01/2023 19:01

You should still have got it back though

Sorted2856 · 31/01/2023 19:02

she confiscated his shoes? That’s ridiculous. Shoes are essential not like a bracelet or a watch. Then to lose them?! I’d be asking what the behavioural policy is - if your child chews his shirt sleeve in an annoying manner are they going to whip that off him too?? He’d best not develop a habit of snapping his underpant elastic!

GoodChat · 31/01/2023 19:03

Sorted2856 · 31/01/2023 19:02

she confiscated his shoes? That’s ridiculous. Shoes are essential not like a bracelet or a watch. Then to lose them?! I’d be asking what the behavioural policy is - if your child chews his shirt sleeve in an annoying manner are they going to whip that off him too?? He’d best not develop a habit of snapping his underpant elastic!

His shoes were flashing and distracting the other children. He had other footwear he could wear. That's really not the issue.

GoodChat · 31/01/2023 19:04

I'm not a parent, but if someone owes me money and I have exhausted all other options, I will sue them no matter who they are.

Teachers everywhere have just breathed a huge sigh of relief.

DickeryDock · 31/01/2023 19:06

A child’s shoes are not something that should ever be confiscated! What was she thinking?!

I’m a reception class TA and would be livid if this was my child.

StickofVeg · 31/01/2023 19:06

I'd definitely be taking that further and higher to the head! That's ridiculous!

TheNoodlesIncident · 31/01/2023 19:08

ortonym · 31/01/2023 18:59

Appropriate or not, they are allowed.
Difference is that your pony wasn't.

Show quote history

It didn't say in the rules that it wasn't?

SeasonFinale · 31/01/2023 19:10

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:59

You don't need a lawyer to use the Small Claims Court.

Show quote history

As a solicitor I am well aware of that. However it really shouldn't come to that. Also as a parent I would perhaps explain to another that suing a school where your 4 year old will be attending for another 2 to 6 years would not be the way to endear yourself to the school and indeed would mark her out as "that parent".

L0bstersLass · 31/01/2023 19:10

NCshoess · 31/01/2023 17:46

thanks for the responses, when school opens thursday I will ask again and if not found will speak to the head of year. I really didn't feel it was fair to lose them but wasn't sure if it was even possible to ask them to replace

I'd speak to the headteacher not the head of year. This is totally unacceptable.
The shoes need to be found, or you need to be given cash to match their value.

CrescentMoons · 31/01/2023 19:10

Did they have his name in? I would email the school tonight and ask if you can go in and look tomorrow and if they can email all the parents.

confiscating schools from a 4 year old is a bit far - so I would be complaining in writing - what did he wear on his feet? Was he walking around in socks?

matter of fairly state what you son said happened
action taken and response from teacher

confiscated items should be on the teachers desk at the end of the day!

ortonym · 31/01/2023 19:11

TheNoodlesIncident · 31/01/2023 19:08

It didn't say in the rules that it wasn't?

Show quote history

If you're asking me - I don't know. It was you who said that you knew you shouldn't have had it in the first place.

SkyIsTheLimits · 31/01/2023 19:12

Yeah they should replace them

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 19:13

SeasonFinale · 31/01/2023 19:10

As a solicitor I am well aware of that. However it really shouldn't come to that. Also as a parent I would perhaps explain to another that suing a school where your 4 year old will be attending for another 2 to 6 years would not be the way to endear yourself to the school and indeed would mark her out as "that parent".

Show quote history

Personally, I would rather be seen as 'that parent' than be seen as a total mug, which is what the school seem to be taking the OP for.