Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask school to replace shoes

321 replies

NCshoess · 31/01/2023 17:25

4 year old ds is in reception, he got shoes for Christmas that he loves and has been wearing them every day. they are light up superhero shoes which is allowed, many kids have them.

Friday he comes home crying in his gym shoes saying he was kicking his feet to make the shoes flash so the teacher took them away. I was going to ask about it yesterday but my sister picked him up.

Today I asked his teacher she said she took them away, but then looking in the classroom she can't find them. I asked where they were and she said they might turn up.

am I being unreasonable to ask them to replace his shoes if they can't find them...these were shoes he was asking for for ages, was so happy when he got them for Christmas and has been crying about having them taken away. I can't afford to buy him new ones atm...I understand taking them away for the day but not to give them back and then lose them is too far.

OP posts:
Dominoeffecter · 02/02/2023 21:24

SchoolTripDrama · 02/02/2023 11:49

I beg your pardon? So because YOU have decided that they’re against a random school’s uniform policy (without even seeing it!!) you’re declaring it perfectly fine for the teacher to effectively steal this child’s shoes off his feet???? My god, the entitlement these days continues to astound me 😳

Show quote history

You should try out for Rada, 🎭

CohenTree · 02/02/2023 21:32

One of the other kids has probably taken them. If your son knows who it is he could just reconfiscate them at the next PE class.

ScotsGirl48 · 02/02/2023 22:33

Shocking from teacher,definitely speak to the head & say that someone needs to take responsibility & replace your sons shoes

to ask school to replace shoes
ButtonMoonLoon · 03/02/2023 00:42

Some of the comments on this thread are rather shocking!
Have some of you missed the fact that this child is 4 years old?

Children do various things that can sometimes be annoying or distracting. Any reception teacher should be resilient enough to cope and professional enough for tale responsibility for another persons possessions taken into her care .

Riv · 03/02/2023 09:49

Just an FYI (from a teacher) Most teachers have insurance for this sort of thing provided with their subscription to their Union (or “professional association”)
They may not actually know this, as it’s often way down in the list after things that teachers are more likely to need (injury and theft for example) but it’s not an extra add on. Obviously it depends on the teacher being in a union and which union (the two biggest- NEA and NASUWT certainly have it)
The fact that unions have this suggests strongly who they think needs to replace your child’s shoes.

Gypsydeane · 04/02/2023 03:33

Teacher here, I teach kindergarten, and have been teaching for 9 years. I have never even thought about taking a child's shoes away. I have asked that they not wear them again.

mumoffourminimes · 04/02/2023 09:11

Have you asked on the class parents WhatsApp group or similar? Another kid might have picked them up accidentally if they are a common shoe

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 09:14

What was the Headteacher’s reply to the email OP?

Emz4280 · 05/02/2023 17:44

YANBU I would be fuming. Shoes are not cheap especially during a living cost crisis and I would demand that they find them or replace them. Not on to just say "they will turn up" .

IndiaRose22 · 06/02/2023 08:35

Any joy over the weekend on a response to your email? I'm definitely more skeptical than others on here that school will reimburse for them!

Makingupfactstosuitmyagenda · 06/02/2023 12:02

They’ve kicked this into the long grass; no pun intended. Longer it’s left, the less the teacher’s role is remembered, the circumstances are forgotten and it’s lumped in with general lost property grouching.

Original poster
NCshoess · 06/02/2023 16:37

Good news, the shoes are back! they were found on top of a cupboard. TA gave them to me at pickup. HT did reply with a nice email apologising saying they would pay for the shoes if not found. Not seen teacher but DS is happy and has his shoes back :)

OP posts:
Makingupfactstosuitmyagenda · 06/02/2023 16:45

Woo-hoo! 💡 💡 💡 Really pleased for you getting the shoes back AND getting a reasonable response from the head.

Choconut · 06/02/2023 16:52

Great news! Amazing what you can find when you really make the effort to look...

SinnerBoy · 06/02/2023 16:57

NCshoess · Today 16:37

Not seen teacher but DS is happy and has his shoes back :)

Good news! She's hiding from you, because she's embarrassed!

WombatChocolate · 06/02/2023 17:14

Good news. I thought they’d turn up in all likelihood.

In response to all the replies on this thread, I’d suggest people avoid knee-jerk strong reactions which seek to blame, demand money or hugely escalate. Usually this kind of thing is solved by a simple, polite enquiry that doesn’t see to apportion blame. In the small number of cases where it doesn’t, that’s the time to escalate a bit.

And for all those who were furious, notice the school did say that if the shoes weren’t found, they would pay in the circumstances. Sometimes mistakes are made, but ownership of them is often taken.

Glad he’s got his shoes back Op.

Princesspollyyy · 06/02/2023 19:42

WombatChocolate · 06/02/2023 17:14

Good news. I thought they’d turn up in all likelihood.

In response to all the replies on this thread, I’d suggest people avoid knee-jerk strong reactions which seek to blame, demand money or hugely escalate. Usually this kind of thing is solved by a simple, polite enquiry that doesn’t see to apportion blame. In the small number of cases where it doesn’t, that’s the time to escalate a bit.

And for all those who were furious, notice the school did say that if the shoes weren’t found, they would pay in the circumstances. Sometimes mistakes are made, but ownership of them is often taken.

Glad he’s got his shoes back Op.

What????

Why shouldn't the teacher be blamed? She was clearly at fault! She confiscated something then didn't know where the thing she confiscated was!! That's not acceptable.

Also, the OP wasn't told the school would replace the shoes until today!

Nimbostratus100 · 06/02/2023 21:37

so glad to hear he has his shoes back!

SophieCook · 07/02/2023 09:46

SinnerBoy · 06/02/2023 16:57

NCshoess · Today 16:37

Not seen teacher but DS is happy and has his shoes back :)

Good news! She's hiding from you, because she's embarrassed!

She's probably in witness protection given the reaction of the OP and many other posters. Talk about an over-reaction!!

Verbena17 · 08/02/2023 00:18

🤔 hmm the old ‘they were on top of the cupboard’ excuse hey?
Whats the bet she read this thread and took them out of the lost property bag she’d quietly slipped them into over a week ago 😂

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 08/02/2023 08:45

SophieCook · 07/02/2023 09:46

She's probably in witness protection given the reaction of the OP and many other posters. Talk about an over-reaction!!

Show quote history

I don't see any over reaction on here from OP or others. OP has politely enquired and they've been found. Headteacher's response was understanding and reasonable and note teachers are insured for these types of losses. Have a look at the AIBU votes, you'll see you're in a tiny minority.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page