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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask school to replace shoes

321 replies

NCshoess · 31/01/2023 17:25

4 year old ds is in reception, he got shoes for Christmas that he loves and has been wearing them every day. they are light up superhero shoes which is allowed, many kids have them.

Friday he comes home crying in his gym shoes saying he was kicking his feet to make the shoes flash so the teacher took them away. I was going to ask about it yesterday but my sister picked him up.

Today I asked his teacher she said she took them away, but then looking in the classroom she can't find them. I asked where they were and she said they might turn up.

am I being unreasonable to ask them to replace his shoes if they can't find them...these were shoes he was asking for for ages, was so happy when he got them for Christmas and has been crying about having them taken away. I can't afford to buy him new ones atm...I understand taking them away for the day but not to give them back and then lose them is too far.

OP posts:
JustDrama · 31/01/2023 17:45

I'm in two minds really. There was a story on here a while back where a coat went missing for a year and came back clearly worn and in a poor state of repair. Clearly someone had taken it, working it and dumped it when it was no good. However I had a cardigan that went missing and might turn up and it did within a week.

Do you have a class WhatsApp group or similar? I'd post a message on there to see if they had been picked up accidentally.

Overgrowngrasslady · 31/01/2023 17:46

I’d also formally complain and requested they are replaced. If the teacher takes them she’s responsible for them. She can’t just claim to have lost them.

Original poster
NCshoess · 31/01/2023 17:46

thanks for the responses, when school opens thursday I will ask again and if not found will speak to the head of year. I really didn't feel it was fair to lose them but wasn't sure if it was even possible to ask them to replace

OP posts:
Overgrowngrasslady · 31/01/2023 17:47

JustDrama · 31/01/2023 17:45

I'm in two minds really. There was a story on here a while back where a coat went missing for a year and came back clearly worn and in a poor state of repair. Clearly someone had taken it, working it and dumped it when it was no good. However I had a cardigan that went missing and might turn up and it did within a week.

Do you have a class WhatsApp group or similar? I'd post a message on there to see if they had been picked up accidentally.

The teacher took them. It didn’t just go randomly missing, the child didn’t leave them laying round. The teacher took them so she needs to give them back or replace them.

2reefsin30knots · 31/01/2023 17:47

I do agree that the light up shoes should be for home though.

ThisIsWednesday · 31/01/2023 17:48

JustDrama · 31/01/2023 17:45

I'm in two minds really. There was a story on here a while back where a coat went missing for a year and came back clearly worn and in a poor state of repair. Clearly someone had taken it, working it and dumped it when it was no good. However I had a cardigan that went missing and might turn up and it did within a week.

Do you have a class WhatsApp group or similar? I'd post a message on there to see if they had been picked up accidentally.

It's very possible that someone did take them BUT the onus is still on the teacher to ensure the child gets them back or a like for like replacement. The teacher took them from OP's child. They wouldn't have been available to be stolen had she not done so. They became her responsibility when she confiscated them.

DangerNoodles · 31/01/2023 17:49

YANBU, what kind of teacher takes a 4 year old's shoes away? I wouldn't let this drop OP, the teacher took them off him, therefore she took responsibility for them.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/01/2023 17:50

2reefsin30knots · 31/01/2023 17:47

I do agree that the light up shoes should be for home though.

Given that the school permits them, then they aren't just for home.

Whatthediddlyfeck · 31/01/2023 17:52

I think the only possible response should have been “I’ll wait here till you look for and find them”

Pinkypurplecloud · 31/01/2023 17:52

DangerNoodles · 31/01/2023 17:49

YANBU, what kind of teacher takes a 4 year old's shoes away? I wouldn't let this drop OP, the teacher took them off him, therefore she took responsibility for them.

One with a class full of 30 four year olds with ridiculous novelty shoes, stamping their feet repeatedly while she’s trying to teach. I bet she asked him to stop repeatedly and he didn’t, so she got him to put on different shoes. Entirely reasonable strategy. She didn’t send him out barefoot in the snow like a Victorian urchin.

Her mistake was losing them/not giving them to a parent at home time.

NewFriday · 31/01/2023 17:53

I'm at these responses. I'd say it's a risk you taken if yiu send flashing shoes into school. I'd imagine another child took a shine to the confiscated shoes.

NuNameNuMe · 31/01/2023 17:53

Don't send your kids out wearing anything youd hate to lose.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/01/2023 17:54

NewFriday · 31/01/2023 17:53

I'm at these responses. I'd say it's a risk you taken if yiu send flashing shoes into school. I'd imagine another child took a shine to the confiscated shoes.

Hang on.....are you actually suggesting that if a kid wears flashy shoes that it's their fault if they are taken?

feelingcadoubleledlove · 31/01/2023 17:54

Poor show from the teacher but those shoes sound really annoying

DestinysGrandchild · 31/01/2023 17:55

They might turn up??? No, tell her they will turn up because shel be buying some more!!

Riu · 31/01/2023 17:56

ArightFruityLoaf · 31/01/2023 17:43

Fuck a time limit.

Replacement immediately.

Don't be fobbed off. They will rely on you going away.

I would be onto them every day until a new replacement appears.

Show quote history

Yes go for it! Angry, impatient harassment is always the way forward when someone messes up. Maybe the teacher was a bit like you and thought:

Fuck those annoying shoes.

Remove immediately.

Don’t be fobbed off with an apology. The flashing lights won’t go away.

At least they won’t disrupt my lessons until they turn up.

NewFriday · 31/01/2023 17:59

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/01/2023 17:54

Hang on.....are you actually suggesting that if a kid wears flashy shoes that it's their fault if they are taken?

Show quote history

Not flashy, flashing and not the child's fault, the parent's. It doesn't take a genius to realise they're going to be quite a distraction in class.

DangerNoodles · 31/01/2023 17:59

Bored kids in plain shoes stamp thier feet, what would she have done in that situation? Removing a child's clothing, even swapping for another pair, is not appropriate.

My son stims, it used to involve foot stomping but not so much now. I would have been pissed if the teacher had taken his shoes without consulting me first.

SheWoreYellow · 31/01/2023 18:01

If you confiscate something, you keep it safe!

bringincrazyback · 31/01/2023 18:03

YANBU! Your poor DS. The school has a responsibility to look after anything that gets confiscated.

UdoU · 31/01/2023 18:03

YANBU. Teacher was a twat to lose them.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:04

Take the school to the small claims court for the cost of the shoes if you have no luck getting them returned or replaced.

feelingcadoubleledlove · 31/01/2023 18:05

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:04

Take the school to the small claims court for the cost of the shoes if you have no luck getting them returned or replaced.

Oh calm down!

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 31/01/2023 18:06

feelingcadoubleledlove · 31/01/2023 18:05

Oh calm down!

Show quote history

What is it about my response that makes you perceive it as not calm?

MajorCarolDanvers · 31/01/2023 18:08

Gosh some people have rather weird aversion to flashy shoes.

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