Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughters birthday and one friend is vegan

157 replies

Blueflag22 · 30/01/2023 20:45

My daughter 9 yes old wants me to order a vegan cake for her birthday party for a friend that is vegan?? I'm going to spend a fair bit on this cake and honestly I'm not vegan neither is anyone else, just one of he friends is. What do I do? buy some vegan cupcakes separately? Should that be rude?

OP posts:
Swiftswatch · 30/01/2023 20:46

Just do a few vegan cupcakes, that will be plenty.

XenoBitch · 30/01/2023 20:46

A vegan cake won't hurt the non vegans. I can guarantee they wont even notice the lack of eggs or dairy in it.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 30/01/2023 20:48

People will definitely notice a vegan cake. Get separate cupcakes or an apple.

Reddoubledecker · 30/01/2023 20:48

If your daughter has asked for a vegan cake I would get her a vegan cake. I’ve had loads of vegan cakes, although I’m not actually vegan, and never had a bad one.

PeekAtYou · 30/01/2023 20:48

Cake is one of the few times when I can't tell the difference between dairy free and normal- especially when it's chocolate. Saying that. Yanbu if you opt for vegan cupcakes.

GreaterStickle · 30/01/2023 20:48

I wouldn’t be ordering a vegan cake. If she’s made the choice to be vegan she can learn early the consequences of doing so.

WeWereInParis · 30/01/2023 20:49

XenoBitch · 30/01/2023 20:46

A vegan cake won't hurt the non vegans. I can guarantee they wont even notice the lack of eggs or dairy in it.

They will be able to tell the difference! Even if it's not worse, they are different.

But OP, if your daughter has asked for a vegan cake, I'd get that.

Lavender14 · 30/01/2023 20:49

We had a few vegan kids in my youth group, there are some really good vegan chocolate cakes out there now and you wouldn't notice the difference. I'd say be inclusive especially if your dd is asking you to and she wants to make the effort to include her friend.

DIYandEatCake · 30/01/2023 20:49

That’s really thoughtful of your daughter. If it makes no difference to the cost, maybe go for the vegan (if the baker is competent and will make a good one - have they got reviews of vegan cakes on their site?), otherwise have a few vegan cupcakes in a theme to match the cake so you can display them together.

Swiftswatch · 30/01/2023 20:49

@XenoBitch I can guarantee they wont even notice the lack of eggs or dairy in it.

I think it’s genuinely unlikely that no one would notice the cake had no eggs or dairy. And that is no slight on vegan food but it’s so obvious when it’s something like a baked good.

XenoBitch · 30/01/2023 20:50

WeWereInParis · 30/01/2023 20:49

They will be able to tell the difference! Even if it's not worse, they are different.

But OP, if your daughter has asked for a vegan cake, I'd get that.

Show quote history

How may 9 year olds are such connoisseur of cakes that they can tell what it is made from?

Lkydfju · 30/01/2023 20:50

I’d buy some vegan cupcakes unless you know for definite that your DD will like the cake, I’ve had a few vegan cakes and they’re fine but not something I’d choose for my birthday

JudgeRudy · 30/01/2023 20:51

I'm not saying anything goes but who's birthday is it? Are you under the impression that a vegan cake will be inferior? Maybe 'vegan child's parents have some suggestions but lthink you'll find its not so left field as you think. Its no hardship really is it. I'd be delighted my daughter was considerate of her friends beliefs.

Prettybutdumb · 30/01/2023 20:52

We always get a few separate cupcakes for the few children who have allergies to eggs / dairy and a normal’ cake. Everyone I know does the same. Not personally keen on vegan desserts.

gogohmm · 30/01/2023 20:52

Get a vegan chocolate and beetroot cake, seriously tasty and you can't tell it's vegan

BigYellowElephant · 30/01/2023 20:53

A couple of my friends kids have egg and/or dairy allergies so as a group we always do vegan birthday cakes. Absolutely no way I'd have a couple of the kids left out and given a cupcake while everyone else shares the birthday cake.

If your daughter was really opposed to having a vegan cake then fair enough but shes actually asked for one so I can't understand why you wouldn't

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 30/01/2023 20:53

I don't think you should feel obliged to get a vegan cake to accommodate one guest. However, your dd has asked for a vegan cake and it's her birthday, so I think you should respect her wishes. It isn't as if the non-vegans will be unable to eat it, so what's the problem?

Your dd sounds like a lovely, considerate kid. You are being unreasonable to ignore her attempt to be inclusive.

gogohmm · 30/01/2023 20:53

Alternatively sainsburys has a decent vegan chocolate cake

Captainladder · 30/01/2023 20:56

I run a coffee shop and we make a couple of vegan cakes and honestly people cannot tell they are vegan to the point they think I'm joking when I tell them... . Even I was amazed. (I'm not keen on vegan icing generally but this was lovely)
I don't know how much you are spending on the cake - would it be possible to have a sample if it's a big amount?
I'd totally go vegan though if that's what your daughter wants.

Funkyslippers · 30/01/2023 20:56

Asda do some fancy vegan cakes. I couldn't get one for my DDS birthday (her friend is a vegan) so just got a normal birthday cake and vegan cupcakes. Her friend was delighted with them

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/01/2023 20:56

We know loads of vegans so I always do a vegan cake option.

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/vegan-ginger-loaf-cake This is incredibly easy as a cake or 12 muffins, I made it as the latter for DD’s party with similar decoration to the main cake and there were 3 years olds going mad for them.

veggiedesserts.com/best-vegan-chocolate-cake/ As above, doesn’t need anything unusual and easy to make as cake and buns/muffins

Oblomov22 · 30/01/2023 20:57

Nope. Get the cake you want. Order a vegan cupcake.

Stellaris22 · 30/01/2023 20:57

It's your daughter's birthday, not yours. Why are you so insistent on going against her wishes?

If you have concerns, go out and try some vegan cupcakes. Our local coffee plays only does vegan and it's delicious.

Better yet, ask someone to buy some vegan cakes and do a blind taste test with non vegan.

Why the anger at vegans?

FurAndFeathers · 30/01/2023 20:57

Your DD has asked for a vegan cane
you have a vegan guest coming

you are catering for 9 year olds not Michelin chefs

what are your concerns about ordering a vegan cake?

many are indistinguishable from any other shop bought cake - or are you labouring under the misapprehension that supermarkets use the finest butter and freshest eggs?

catandcoffee · 30/01/2023 20:57

XenoBitch · 30/01/2023 20:46

A vegan cake won't hurt the non vegans. I can guarantee they wont even notice the lack of eggs or dairy in it.

People truly will notice the difference 😁

Swipe left for the next trending thread