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AIBU?

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Original poster

Daughters birthday and one friend is vegan

157 replies

Blueflag22 · 30/01/2023 20:45

My daughter 9 yes old wants me to order a vegan cake for her birthday party for a friend that is vegan?? I'm going to spend a fair bit on this cake and honestly I'm not vegan neither is anyone else, just one of he friends is. What do I do? buy some vegan cupcakes separately? Should that be rude?

OP posts:
londonrach · 30/01/2023 21:24

Can you taste test before. I have had a few vegan cakes and you can deal the difference...very much so...can't believe people can't. However it's yours daughter party so her choice but make a none vegan cake too as back up.

londonrach · 30/01/2023 21:25

Tell the difference

lailamaria · 30/01/2023 21:26

your daughter has asked for a vegan cake, let her make her own decisions when it's her birthday

RealBecca · 30/01/2023 21:26

Less empathy than a 9 year old. Well done you.

waterfallswillfindyou · 30/01/2023 21:27

Just be careful that in selecting a vegan cake to meet one child's dietary choice, you don't inadvertently exclude another child's dietary need.

A vegan cake isn't a 'normal' cake minus animal products. It's a normal cake minus animal products plus a bunch of other stuff that you wouldn't ordinarily expect. Vegan substitutes can be quite inventive!

Make sure you ask all the parents about allergies!

inloveandmarried · 30/01/2023 21:28

Vegan cakes are expensive unless you are having one made. Get some decent vegan cupcakes.

DottieUncBab · 30/01/2023 21:29

Sainsburys do a vegan chocolate cake for birthdays now and it’s lovely

CatsTheWayToDoIt · 30/01/2023 21:29

Im vegan and vegan cupcakes is more than enough. If you are planning any other party food then it’s worth noting that Oreo’s are vegan, so are jammy dodgers. And I’d do hummus sandwiches and fruit.

namechangeforthisbleep · 30/01/2023 21:31

Captainladder · 30/01/2023 20:56

I run a coffee shop and we make a couple of vegan cakes and honestly people cannot tell they are vegan to the point they think I'm joking when I tell them... . Even I was amazed. (I'm not keen on vegan icing generally but this was lovely)
I don't know how much you are spending on the cake - would it be possible to have a sample if it's a big amount?
I'd totally go vegan though if that's what your daughter wants.

Yep. I own a coffee shop too and no one knows! That's grown adults. If anyone can tell they're getting shit vegan cakes. Get good ones from a proper bakery and not a shop bought.

FreestyleInTrance · 30/01/2023 21:31

If your daughter has asked for a vegan cake, why not?

groceries.asda.com/product/birthday-party-cakes/asda-extra-special-sea-salted-caramel-cake/1000302042808 is lovely, we had it for my (non-vegan) daughter's birthday so everyone at the party could have some.

Original poster
Blueflag22 · 30/01/2023 21:32

I am going For vegan cake. Reason I asked is most coming aren't vegan but yes my daughter is very very considerate like that.and did ask for vegan cake. She isn't vegan herself and isn't fussed herself but she does consider others. I am aware more people are vegan now and I will be looking into a vegan cake that everyone hopefully likes 😅

OP posts:
notprincehamlet · 30/01/2023 21:33

Just Love Food Company Vegan Chocolate Cake is really good

WeWereInParis · 30/01/2023 21:34

XenoBitch · 30/01/2023 20:50

How may 9 year olds are such connoisseur of cakes that they can tell what it is made from?

Show quote history

To be honest, I hadn’t paid full attention to the ages. But I do think that, even if people can’t tell they’re vegan, they are noticeable different. Which isn’t to say they’re all automatically worse, but they are different.

RDAnna · 30/01/2023 21:35

Yes people will notice the difference (if you say so) BUT will a group of nine year olds care?
It's your daughters birthday. She asked for a vegan cake. Get her a vegan cake. I don't really understand what the problem is.

2Old2BABPpresenter · 30/01/2023 21:37

I’m vegan and my best friend owns and runs a vegan bakery. While developing her standard cupcake recipe years ago she used my DM as a Guinea pig and she could not tell that the cakes were vegan. I think it’s lovely that your daughter is so thoughtful 😊

Hillary17 · 30/01/2023 21:43

I actually think it’s lovely she wants to do this. You should be proud because she sounds very considerate and kind natured. Not vegan either, but my sister once had a vegan cake and it was gorgeous!

BubziOwl · 30/01/2023 21:46

Shop-bought vegan cakes can be dodgy, but any halfway-decent baker can make a vegan cake taste like any other cake.

Augend23 · 30/01/2023 21:46

waterfallswillfindyou · 30/01/2023 21:27

Just be careful that in selecting a vegan cake to meet one child's dietary choice, you don't inadvertently exclude another child's dietary need.

A vegan cake isn't a 'normal' cake minus animal products. It's a normal cake minus animal products plus a bunch of other stuff that you wouldn't ordinarily expect. Vegan substitutes can be quite inventive!

Make sure you ask all the parents about allergies!

Just seconding this. I wouldn't often assume I need to share my dietary requirements (no legumes) for a party, but they generally mean I can't eat vegan substitutes: aquafava, vegan "cream", heavily soya based products are all no nos. All of which I can avoid unless someone feeds me a surprise vegan substitute which can make me very ill.

Since veganism is becoming more popular I have to actually treat them as a dietary requirement instead of just "eating round" them as I have done previously.

Spotsstripes · 30/01/2023 21:47

As a mother of a child with gluten intolerance I would have never expected a gluten free cake. I often sent some gf buns so dc could join in. What was lovely was when the host bought some gf cup cakes it was very much appreciated.

SeeYouNextTLol · 30/01/2023 21:50

imagine the vegan does not show up 👀

RampantIvy · 30/01/2023 21:54

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 30/01/2023 20:48

People will definitely notice a vegan cake. Get separate cupcakes or an apple.

Sorry, but bollocks.
I have a brilliant recipe for a vegan chocolate and raspberry cake and when I took it to work I didn't tell anyone it was vegan until after they had tried it and said it was delicious.

We really need to dispel the myths that surround the idea that vegan food is unpalatable and joyless. And I'm speaking as an omnivore.

In answer to the OP. It is fine to buy some vegan cupcakes for the vegan guest.

LastOfTheChristmasWine · 30/01/2023 21:58

I was the child with the vegan parent when I was that age (vegetarian now). Please don't make the child feel different if you can avoid it. To this day I remember being sent off to the Brownie guide party with a plate of my own food which I swiftly dispensed with as Brown Owl turned a blind eye.

Your daughter is wonderfully considerate and has asked for a vegan birthday cake. There are some good options out there; this looks like a sensible option for instance, and not too expensive despite being from Waitrose www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/plantliving-vegan-chocolate-celebration-cake/593183-769116-769117?gclid=Cj0KCQiA8t2eBhDeARIsAAVEga1MMgB-Wm-jN9nztxEhOMoZxDw1Ur908tJoxscOxDIaBtLe8lWtIVoaAtksEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Clara84 · 30/01/2023 22:03

My child has a severe dairy allergy which essentially makes much of her diet vegan (except for the fact she eats meat!).

Honestly, I'd be almost watery eyed from the act of kindness if a parent even thought to buy some free from chocolate cake slices.

At parties my child can't eat anything - not even the sandwiches because while there are veggie options, they are all smothered in butter. Then it's pizza, cakes and biscuits - all contain dairy.

My child isn't lactose intolerant, she's allergic.

But as someone else said - vegan cake is vile! But the free from chocolate slices are really quite nice. I'd just be so touched if a parent just provided a couple of things my child could eat - like a chocolate slice, some humus and veggie sticks, even a fruit bowl. I pack her 'party lunch' - I usually include some sandwiches and pizza (that are all vegan/dairy free) so that her plate looks as close to everyone else's as possible. I don't expect anyone to do that. Genuinely I don't. Infact I usually feel so awkward trying to explain why I've bought her food, like I'm the annoying one.

So like I say - if a parent said 'we've got some free from/vegan food that your child can eat on X plate' - I would be so appreciative and find them so lovely and thoughtful.

NickyOy · 30/01/2023 22:03

We got a vegan chocolate cake in Asda, it was like a cute avocado. It was very dense and not quite as moist and creamy as a non vegan cake but it was fairly cheap. You could buy that for the vegan and an ordinary non vegan one for other people, that way no one misses out.

GimmeBiscuits · 30/01/2023 22:04

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 30/01/2023 20:48

People will definitely notice a vegan cake. Get separate cupcakes or an apple.

If it's made properly, nobody will notice. I've hosted many events where I've provided vegan cake. Nobody has ever realised.
(The reason I do this is because I invite vegans to the events and it's easier to start with their requirements and then add things in if necessary, food-wise)

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