Late picking up DD from nursery

[hellomynameissuzy]

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

Of course YABU.

How entitled are you?!

To put it into perspective if a different parent did this every single day that's 50 minutes a week that the poor woman has to stay at work, unpaid, because people didn't respect her time and collect their child before closing. Each of those parents would think it was "just the once".
Would you be happy to work almost an hour a week for nothing? Forty-eight hours a year? That's basically a week's wages a year if someone does this every day.

She behaved unprofessionally. Obviously you were in the wrong to be late and she is allowed to be annoyed, but her passive aggressive ignoring of you was unprofessional. Especially in front of your child. She needed to deal with it in a different way.

Then there's no point in it as a phone is there? Bin it.

She probably didn't want to get into a r conversation because she's already had to stay an extra 10 mins and didn't want it to drag out to 20 mins. Ok is being unreasonable.

So why were you late @hellomynameissuzy

So you are going to withdraw your child from nursery because you are offended at their attitude to your unexpected & unexplained lateness?

However passive aggressive she might have been your reaction is rather OTT.

OP isn't asking if she was BU to be late. I think she knows she was.

She's asking if she's right to be upset with the staff member's ignoring of her.

Totally different questions.

IMO the staff member should have dealt with it more professionally and therefore OP is not BU to be upset about her response.

Thank goodness for your response, I thought I was going mad.

It's 10 mins for christ's sake, not an hour! I've got to nursery on time before and had to wait 10/15 mins for other parents to finish chatting etc. before they acknowledged me and brought my child out.

OP when you next drop off, just explain you're sorry for being slightly late and the reason why. After that move on and forget it. If she persists in ignoring you, then you can raise her unprofessional approach with her or her supervisor.

Being late for pick-up is the equivalent of being a parenting "worm". The only thing which makes it half-ok (and still not OK at all) is to phone in advance and grovel hugely.

Of course the OP shouldn’t have been late but realistically a parent being ten minutes late will happen occasionally in any childcare setting and there should never be a situation where every adult in the place has to close the door and leave bang on the dot, such that a late parent is such a catastrophe. Of course it’s discouraged which is why late fees are massive, but it will happen.

(I’ve never once been late in six years of using nursery so to be clear, I’m not a habitual late person excusing crap behaviour or expecting it to be no big deal to the people it inconveniences - I’m just realistic that despite best intentions there will occasionally be lateness and it has to be factored in).

I would be VERY concerned about my child being in the care of an adult ‘professional’ who could do handover without uttering a word. That’s wildly immature and beyond unprofessional. Are you definitely not exaggerating OP, she literally passed your child over in silence and didn’t say a word? That’s more than a little weird and I would seriously reconsider use of the setting if it happened exactly like that.

I had a childminder who was pissed if you collected early without notice nevermind late!

Your attitude of "only 10 minutes" is shit.

In my job, people being only 10 minutes eats into my unpaid break and means potentially leaving late too.

Unacceptable.

But if one parent is late by 10 minutes every day (which is often the case) then the worker ends up doing many hours of unpaid overtime.

This is what happens to me. I'm a teacher and I lose an hour a week of my own time because parents don't come and pick their children when they're supposed to. Would the parents mind working an hour for free every week?

Was she rude though? Or was she just not friendly. I'd guess she was actually biting her tongue thinking "l don't wanna hear your excuses, just take your kid and P-off so I can leave"
Only 10 mins?! Have you any idea how often this must happen.

@sunnydayhereandnow are you saying the staff hand kids over to other parents’? My DS’s nursery would never ever do this even if someone offered!

So your late and the woman doesn't want to engage in a conversation with you which would make her more late yet she was rude?

It's distressing for the child to watch all their friends go home and end up being the only one there still waiting. Was your daughter upset?

Was she rude though? Or was she just not friendly.

She didn't say anything. She was being an arsehole. That kind of silent shit might be what works in her own house but when she is paid to set example to children she should know better and act professionally irrespective of how she feels.

ps) I have a €15 penalty to pay if we are ten mins late or more to collection! X

See I don’t think she does think she was being unreasonable to be late. Keeps saying it was “only” 10 mins, won’t say why she was late… the op doesn’t think what she did was a big deal whcih is why she is so offended. I’d imagine it reflected in her “apology” too. And then she’s pissed off the staff member didn’t want to waste more time having a chat.

I think all the people laying into the OP for being late are missing the point. She’s fully admitting she was in the wrong to be late and would have accepted a fine and a reprimand as very fair. Her question was whether it’s an acceptable reaction from the staff member to basically sulk at her and give her the silent treatment.

All the people ranting about the unpaid overtime it adds up to etc are absolutely right but the OP seems fully in agreement with that so it’s not really helpful to keep pointing that out, or the subject of the thread.

Would those posters say that a reasonable, adult, professional response would be sulky silent treatment as opposed to administering a fine and dishing out any consequences in a polite and calm way as per the terms of the contract?! If so, they need to grow up or get out of the workplace!

Seriously??

Do better.

YABVU. Saying “only” 10 minutes minimises the impact and shows you don’t think it matters.

The reason why you were late is irrelevant. It’s unacceptable and she was right to react as she did.

She shouldn’t have been so rude, I guess she was stressed and either had to be somewhere or just wanted to go home, which is fair enough, but she could have at least acknowledged you and said bye to your DD. Makes me chuckle people saying she might then be late to pick her her own child- that’s true, but would she then be fine with that nursery carer being rude to her?! Everyone is late occasionally, and you apologised.