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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Late picking up DD from nursery

511 replies

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 16:59

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

OP posts:
4thonthe4th · 30/01/2023 17:17

Girlgift97 · 30/01/2023 17:13

Maybe they would contact the child's father in an emergency??

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And how would he then contact the mother to let her know not to collect their child at the usual time as he’s gone early?

ComeOnJohn · 30/01/2023 17:18

janefondofu · 30/01/2023 17:05

Can't believe everyone else's responses, it's 10 minutes... she shouldn't have been so rude to you OP.

Things like this are only said by the type of person who thinks it’s no big deal to be late for things.

People being late to my work are the reason I get no tea break…no time to go to the loo…leave late so I’ve worked several minutes each day free. I work pretty much an unpaid day each month. WTH should I have to then smile and be super nice to the people who take my time?

Each ‘sorry I’m a few minutes late’ is the reason why everyone has to wait well past their appointment time btw.

Be.On.Time.People. It’s not flexi-time.

Rolypolyup · 30/01/2023 17:18

My child's nursery finishes at a time when the staff leave so yes it's totally possible that they leave at the end of the day. Hopefully you get a nice late fee and then you won't be late again.

Girlgift97 · 30/01/2023 17:18

R0ckets · 30/01/2023 17:15

Which isn't much use if the OPs meant to be collecting, how is the father meant to contact the OP. She would have turned up and then been cross the child wasn't there if the father had, had to go and collect them and couldn't let her know.

A working phone is pretty essential when you have a child in childcare.

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That's not an issue is it? That is a problem for the OP and no one else. The father is contacted in an emergency, the child is safe etc.

End of nursery issue.

WheresTheCakeThen · 30/01/2023 17:19

You should have arrived saying "sorry I'm late there was a traffic jam on X Road" etc without being asked. If you just arrived and carried on as normal expecting the usual brief exchange about DC's day she may well have thought you were being cheeky and didn't care about wasting her time. She had probably already had a nice chat with DC about the day, said what they might be doing tomorrow etc but by the time you arrived was starting to get pretty annoyed thinking about other stuff she should be doing. .

Girlgift97 · 30/01/2023 17:20

4thonthe4th · 30/01/2023 17:17

And how would he then contact the mother to let her know not to collect their child at the usual time as he’s gone early?

Show quote history

Why would anyone care, the inconvenience would be all on OP? But all this the nursery would need to contact you, they don't they can easily contact the DF and he can deal with it, nursery job done.

Beamur · 30/01/2023 17:22

Most nurseries fine you for late pick ups.
At DD's old nursery it's a £10 penalty if you are late.

Blinkingheckythump · 30/01/2023 17:25

As much as I agree you shouldn't be regularly late, it's pretty dim to imagine there aren't very valid reasons for someone to be late once in a blue moon, so everyone saying that you should definitely not be late no matter what is being ridiculous. I mean what are you supposed to do if your cars blocked in by an ambulance for example? Or there's a crash on your journey? You can't physically do a thing about them to make yourself not late. You definitely need a working phone on you for such occasions though. In this case I would let it go, you were late, you didn't call to forewarn and you also (assuming from your op) didn't immediately say so sorry I'm late x happened, really appreciate you waiting with z til I got here blah blah

Wishawisha · 30/01/2023 17:25

Realistically most of us are late once in a blue moon due to unexpected traffic or a cancelled train etc. It’s extremely unfortunate that it coincided with you being phoneless.

I am early generally for school pick up because I don’t want to run the risk of being late but of course, it happens once a year or so. It happens to everyone. Once they’re at school it shouldn’t be such a big deal though - what most of us do is quickly text/ ring another parent to pick up and then alert the school.

BungleandGeorge · 30/01/2023 17:25

Rolypolyup · 30/01/2023 17:18

My child's nursery finishes at a time when the staff leave so yes it's totally possible that they leave at the end of the day. Hopefully you get a nice late fee and then you won't be late again.

They can’t possibly be open and charging people until 6 and all leave at 6. That’s impossible

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:27

I wouldn’t know if there are late fees since she ignored me and didn’t say anything 😅

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 30/01/2023 17:29

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:27

I wouldn’t know if there are late fees since she ignored me and didn’t say anything 😅

It’ll be in your contract! I’d expect a bill 😆

Headabovetheparakeet · 30/01/2023 17:30

Or...I caused someone to be at work late, was uncontactable during that time and I'm unhappy she didn't pretend that this was totally fine when I turned up. Is it ok if I complain about her?

Overthebow · 30/01/2023 17:30

Did you phone ahead of time to give them a heads up you would be late? It’s pretty unfair of you just turned up late with no warning. She likely had things she had to get to after work and you made her late.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:34

I have 3 other emergency contacts on file if there was an emergency or they needed to get hold of someone

OP posts:
fitzwilliamdarcy · 30/01/2023 17:34

I find that if the first time someone is late, you’re all nicey nicey “it’s fine don’t worry about it!” with them, then they just learn to keep doing it. I imagine that goes double for somewhere where they don’t fine for lateness.

You’ll remember this and it’ll make you less likely to do it again.

SeaToSki · 30/01/2023 17:35

List of top things in life you can never be late for

Catching a plane
Picking up DC from nursery
A job interview
A wedding

Most other things have some wiggle room in them!

gogohmm · 30/01/2023 17:37

She may now be late for her own children, some things you just can't be late for

Parker231 · 30/01/2023 17:37

She shouldn’t have been rude but expyto be charged a late collection fee.

queenofthewild · 30/01/2023 17:39

There are days I have to dash from work to take DS to clubs and classes. DS did once miss an expensive music class because parents were late to collect.

She was rude if this was your first late pick up, but parents who protest they were "only" 10 minutes late are usually 20 or 30 minutes late, and it's hugely frustrating when staff have somewhere else to be or are worried about their own children being picked up late as a result.

EmmaDilemma5 · 30/01/2023 17:40

YANBU.

Obviously no one wants to be late but it happens. That's why they often have charging policies for lateness.

It doesn't mean she can ignore you like you're subhuman. It's unprofessional and totally overreacting. I would write to the manager, apologise and offer to pay the charge (if there is one) but also explain you were hurt and confused by the reaction you received and would like to know that won't happen again.

nocoolnamesleft · 30/01/2023 17:42

How much was the fine?

Viviennemary · 30/01/2023 17:43

You should have been on time.Your phone was broken so you couldn't ring. I think the nursery worker had more cause for complaint than you have.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:44

I arrived saying ‘hello sorry I’m late!’ but because she looked really annoyed and didn’t respond or even smile at me I didn’t carry on and go on to explain

OP posts:
Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:45

I don’t think there is a fine if you’re under 15 minutes late

OP posts: