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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Late picking up DD from nursery

511 replies

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 16:59

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 30/01/2023 17:45

YABU

She was probably really cross with you and I can understand why.

Be in time in the future.

SarahAndQuack · 30/01/2023 17:45

On the face of it she does sound rude, but if your phone is broken, it could well be she called and/or tried to leave a message, and thought you were the rude one as you weren't picking up.

I don't understand why her not saying anything meant you couldn't explain more - surely if she wasn't saying anything it was your cue to explain about the broken phone?

My DD's nursery also had late fees; it's really common. They do it so people get used to the idea that there's no leeway.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 30/01/2023 17:46

You are incredibly unreasonable. I hope you do get fined and the member of staff who had to stay late gets the bonus. There are times things go awry but in all honesty, you cannot expect the nursery to be happy that you were late. A bit of a sour face is hardly something to complain about.

Plumbear2 · 30/01/2023 17:46

To be honest I'm not surprised she acted this way. Late pick ups happen often and infringes on the staffs time. I'm not surprised she didn't engage as that would have eaten up even more of her time. You also need a working home for emergences, my kids are in high school and even then you still have to contactable.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:46

I was definitely only 10 minutes late! Not 20 or 30 otherwise I’d understand why she was so annoyed!

OP posts:
Plumbear2 · 30/01/2023 17:48

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:46

I was definitely only 10 minutes late! Not 20 or 30 otherwise I’d understand why she was so annoyed!

You where 10 minutes late and couldn't be contacted. I'm not surprised she was angry.

HagridTheGiant · 30/01/2023 17:48

janefondofu · 30/01/2023 17:05

Can't believe everyone else's responses, it's 10 minutes... she shouldn't have been so rude to you OP.

10 minutes every day adds up to a LOT. Maybe not OP every day, but there will usually be one.

SarahAndQuack · 30/01/2023 17:48

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:46

I was definitely only 10 minutes late! Not 20 or 30 otherwise I’d understand why she was so annoyed!

Nurseries tend to be really strict, though. Did they not go through this with you when your DD started?

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:48

I understand it’s probably really frustrating but I’d rather she’d moan and tell me there’s a fee etc than her blank me!

OP posts:
GoodnightJude1 · 30/01/2023 17:49

If it was a one off then there was no need for her to be so rude. Sometimes you just can’t help being late! If you were consistently 10 minutes late then I’d expect them to take you aside and have a word but to just ignore you like that was horrible.

Beamur · 30/01/2023 17:49

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:45

I don’t think there is a fine if you’re under 15 minutes late

Don't bet on it.
That would mean lots of parents think they have an additional 15 minute window. So a 'free' hour and a bit a week.
At DD's (private) nursery it's £10 if you are late. No grace period.
School nurseries might not be able to do that, but they probably have a cut off for calling social services. Staff won't just stay indefinitely at nursery/school until a parent shows up if they aren't told what's happening.

UsingChangeofName · 30/01/2023 17:49

BungleandGeorge · 30/01/2023 17:25

They can’t possibly be open and charging people until 6 and all leave at 6. That’s impossible

Show quote history

No it isn't, because most of us build in that 'getting delayed' time.
I always paid for 15mins after the time I intended to pick my dc up because I am aware there are things that can happen and it is difficult to be precise down to the last minute. I assume if something closes at X time, then that is when the door is locked and the lights go off, so I would expect to have picked up my child with time to spare.
Which of course the staff know about and would be understanding after 50 early pick ups, if there were a late one - realising it was something unavoidable (though of course the phone call would have told them that).

Most of the dc will be gone long before the time the Nursery closes, and the tidying up , cleaning up and so forth will have been done whilst one member of staff is entertaining the 2 dc that get left until the last minute.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:50

Nope, nothing! No mention of a late fee etc when she started and I signed the papers

OP posts:
balloontrip · 30/01/2023 17:50

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:46

I was definitely only 10 minutes late! Not 20 or 30 otherwise I’d understand why she was so annoyed!

She wasn't wrong to be annoyed. She was absolutely wrong to display this to your child. I would be raising it with her manager tbh. If I place my child in someone's care I expect them to give positive communication at all times, not pathetic silence.

SarahAndQuack · 30/01/2023 17:50

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:48

I understand it’s probably really frustrating but I’d rather she’d moan and tell me there’s a fee etc than her blank me!

I would feel the same - but I think when you're in the wrong you probably just have to suck it up and accept it.

TBH it does also sound to be like she might have responded differently if you'd been contactable.

Plumbear2 · 30/01/2023 17:50

hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:48

I understand it’s probably really frustrating but I’d rather she’d moan and tell me there’s a fee etc than her blank me!

Like I said before, why should she spend time talking when you have already wasted 10 minutes of her time?

Girlgift97 · 30/01/2023 17:51

SarahAndQuack · 30/01/2023 17:50

I would feel the same - but I think when you're in the wrong you probably just have to suck it up and accept it.

TBH it does also sound to be like she might have responded differently if you'd been contactable.

Show quote history

I wonder how many of the other 3 emergency numbers she tried?

smileladiesplease · 30/01/2023 17:51

I was a cm for years snd yes occasionally people were late but I very soon worked out that a late fee charge stopped most cases. 10 minutes for me meant my own children were late for events/family time/lifts/my own pursuits. Just don't do it again snd you must obviously be contactable at all times.

Equally I would have not given you any feedback just hand over as that would made me more late.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 30/01/2023 17:51

RelentlessForwardProgress · 30/01/2023 17:10

You are judging yourself by your intentions....I meant to get there on time/ I wanted to phone but I couldn't
Whereas other people judge you on your actions.....arriving 10 mins after closing/ didn't even warn by phone.

Well said.

It isn’t always the thought that counts.

ReamsOfCheese · 30/01/2023 17:54

YABU. It sounds like a "dog ate my homework" excuse and she's probably sick of hearing them and having to be polite while all she wants is to clean up so she can go home. Your attitude of "it was only ten minutes" says this probably wasn't the first time and even if it was, you don't value her time at all. I hope she charges you late collection fees like most nurseries do.

plumduck · 30/01/2023 17:54

Were you aiming to pick her up at 3? Because all kids should be gone by 3.

Original poster
hellomynameissuzy · 30/01/2023 17:54

None, she didn’t even try calling me, my phone is on and I can get notifications through etc but the screen is severely cracked so it’s unusable

OP posts:
smileladiesplease · 30/01/2023 17:54

I would be amazed there is no late fee! I think you need to check your paperwork. She wouldn't be telling you that anyway that's for the nursery admin to just put onto your bill. There will be one. I have never heard of a child care setting without one as some parents would just take the piss

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 30/01/2023 17:58

janefondofu · 30/01/2023 17:05

Can't believe everyone else's responses, it's 10 minutes... she shouldn't have been so rude to you OP.

Only 10 minutes....

10 minutes a day means

an extra 50 minutes work unpaid per week. Then multiply that by 4 weeks that an extra 200 minutes extra work a month unpaid (just over 3 hours).
an extra 2400 minutes per year (40 hours)

By the end of the year that is an extra week's work almost per year unpaid.

YouJustDoYou · 30/01/2023 17:58

They're not a free babysitting service for your tardiness. They have lives to go home too to.

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