Page 17 | Late picking up DD from nursery

hellomynameissuzy · 2023-01-30T16:59:13+00:00

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late. The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm. I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm. AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

MinceandMash · 01/02/2023 08:47

Have you been late before by any chance? IME it’s always the same parents who are late picking their kids up from nursery, school, wraparound etc. 10 minutes is actually quite a lot, and the staff will have things they need to do like tidying, paper work etc which they’d be unable to do whilst your child is still there. Not to mention the fact that children become distressed when they’re the last one left.

Also how on Earth are they supposed to contact you when your phone is broken? What if there had been an emergency regarding your DD? Massive safeguarding concern right there as well..

Girlgift97 · 01/02/2023 08:55

Hello, sorry I'm late!" sounds a bit flippant / don't care

What was she supposed to start the conversation with.

bettybear21 · 01/02/2023 08:57

YANBU. My daughters nursery finishes at 6:30pm but it doesn’t lock up then. You will always have people staying behind as this is probably quite common as a couple of times I have been late and they have said not to worry as they will still be there. If the educator had plans and needed to leave on time then she should have arranged this with her colleagues. Not speaking to you was not on and very unprofessional. As for your phone breaking, I can totally understand this because the other day my phone was playing up and I couldn’t do anything with it and I don’t have a house phone. Luckily my mum came over five minutes after it stopped working and had to google how to fix it.. all these people saying you shouldn’t have been late.. life happens, traffic etc and phones break / play up!

AprilFools2015 · 01/02/2023 08:58

Makes more sense now if its a school nursery, but my comment wasn't they obv lied to her & said they opened til 6pm, when they opened til 3pm...more how baffled I am that people can find jobs they can leave b4 3pm & still pay their bills. I'm a Careers Advisor, I earn 17.5k a year working 30 hrs a week...husband earns 18.5k a year working for a school as a HLTA & Cover Teacher. We live in Wales & work in England. There is no way we could afford the bills if I worked til b4 3pm, so I just don't how people manage this unless stay-at-home mums. I went to Reed in 2018, when I was seeking work while studying, they told me none of their employers would consider anyone who had to leave b4 5:30pm. I said had their employers not heard of working mums (they were all women themselves) & they shrugged. I congratulate you if you can find work finishing b4 3pm that pays the bills & don't have to work 9am-5pm like most of us. You are winning at life!!

bettybear21 · 01/02/2023 09:06

Also I feel for you as all these people are telling you to make sure you aren’t late next time like you chose to be late.. anything can happen such as traffic, being held up and can’t get out of somewhere!

AprilFools2015 · 01/02/2023 09:07

Now my husband does school pick up cos he can get there by 4pm, but we still pay for after school club each day, he finishes work at 3:30pm. I get back to our town at either 6:10 or 7:10pm depending on the day, cos I use public transport. Must be so lovely to have the luxury of working in your own town & being able to afford your own car / driving lessons. When my son was in nursery I was the breadwinner btw, this was in 2016-2019 & I had been the breadwinner since 2002, but this is obv a concept lost on mumsnet. We live in a deeply patriarchal society that doesn't allow for mums like me, who want to work, use our qualifications & still be there for our child...even a global pandemic hasn't solved the problem!

bettybear21 · 01/02/2023 09:10

EdithBond · 01/02/2023 07:37

Exactly. I’m shocked at some of the harsh and insensitive comments on this thread, some of which border on bullying. I thought this site was a place for parents to seek support from other parents. It’s hard being a mum and parents need support from carers and other parents. The OP is obviously sensitive if she was upset that she and, especially her child, we’re ignored by a carer. It’s fine to give an opinion that was asked for in a kind way. But publicly expressing harsh judgements about a person based on a few posts is really insensitive and unkind. People can be feeling exhausted and depressed and reading such judgemental comments can make things much worse - as well as putting others off asking for advice. If you can’t be kind, better to not comment.

I find this site very judgemental and cruel sometimes.. I feel that many people on here use this as an excuse to bully :(

AprilFools2015 · 01/02/2023 09:12

People are late sometimes. As someone who regularly works with customers (12000 of them in fact, which is my caseload), I would expect to be fired if I was that rude to one, regardless of why I'd been rude.

Kanaloa · 01/02/2023 09:13

GoAgainstNicki · 01/02/2023 08:18

@Kanaloa not even trying to be funny but don’t you get bored going back and forth with different posters regarding your point? It’s as if everytime I’ve clicked on the thread, I’ve seen you quote someone else to more or less repeat what you’ve already said. Doesn’t that get tiring?

And yet you have nothing new to add, do you?

Kanaloa · 01/02/2023 09:16

AprilFools2015 · 01/02/2023 08:58

Makes more sense now if its a school nursery, but my comment wasn't they obv lied to her & said they opened til 6pm, when they opened til 3pm...more how baffled I am that people can find jobs they can leave b4 3pm & still pay their bills. I'm a Careers Advisor, I earn 17.5k a year working 30 hrs a week...husband earns 18.5k a year working for a school as a HLTA & Cover Teacher. We live in Wales & work in England. There is no way we could afford the bills if I worked til b4 3pm, so I just don't how people manage this unless stay-at-home mums. I went to Reed in 2018, when I was seeking work while studying, they told me none of their employers would consider anyone who had to leave b4 5:30pm. I said had their employers not heard of working mums (they were all women themselves) & they shrugged. I congratulate you if you can find work finishing b4 3pm that pays the bills & don't have to work 9am-5pm like most of us. You are winning at life!!

I mean it doesn’t mean you’re ‘winning at life.’ There was a period I had to work evenings while DH worked the day. So I could have picked my kids up at 3pm then look after them until 6, then swap with DH and go out to work myself. It’s kind of short sighted to say there’s no way you could afford to live if you finish before 3 because it assumes everyone starts when you start. Some people may have been working since 4am. Some might not start until 5pm.

GoAgainstNicki · 01/02/2023 09:25

Kanaloa · 01/02/2023 09:13

And yet you have nothing new to add, do you?

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Maybe I’m in the minority but I don’t feel the need to add a comment or go back and forth everytime I click on a thread. I just browse some comments and come off of MN as I don’t have the biggest attention spam in the world.

I wasn’t even trying to be snarky, I was genuinely asking🤷‍♀️

illtakeit · 01/02/2023 09:28

I know nurseries HATE late pick ups or early drop offs.

I got a telling off for dropping DS 10 mins early once 😂. We never did it again.

I do think she was very rude, despite it all; especially if this was your first offence.

Kanaloa · 01/02/2023 09:31

GoAgainstNicki · 01/02/2023 09:25

Maybe I’m in the minority but I don’t feel the need to add a comment or go back and forth everytime I click on a thread. I just browse some comments and come off of MN as I don’t have the biggest attention spam in the world.

I wasn’t even trying to be snarky, I was genuinely asking🤷‍♀️

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You’re doing it now? You obviously do feel the need to add a comment since that’s what you’re doing 😂

But yeah, I do find people who refuse to understand why NMW workers don’t want to cheerfully and kindly work for free on no notice to make life easier for other people aggravating.

DangerNoodles · 01/02/2023 09:31

It's not 'bulling' or 'unkind' to tell a fellow mum that she needs to make every effort to be on time to pick her own child up. Posters have acknowledged that sometimes lateness can't be helped in which case it's up to the parent to give the nursery a courtesy call to warn them. What would 'kind' responses look like? 'Oh don't worry about being late OP, it's not like the nursery worker has anything else to do but look after your child'

GoAgainstNicki · 01/02/2023 09:33

Kanaloa · 01/02/2023 09:31

You’re doing it now? You obviously do feel the need to add a comment since that’s what you’re doing 😂

But yeah, I do find people who refuse to understand why NMW workers don’t want to cheerfully and kindly work for free on no notice to make life easier for other people aggravating.

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I was about to type out a whole response but I’ll just leave it at ‘ok’

MrsMikeDrop · 01/02/2023 09:36

Kanaloa · 01/02/2023 08:00

It is not our job to support the parents by cheerfully offering them paid childcare when they show up whenever they like. And as for nurseries opening till 6 because people have jobs - presumably they didn’t lie to the op and say they opened until 6. She chose (and paid for) a service that suits her needs. If she needs later childcare she needs to find that, not rudely not infringe on other people’s time then ‘be kind’ them into cheerful submission. What’s next, don’t have to pay for petrol since parenting is hard and people need support? Should be able to show up late to work whenever you want and people should smile and ‘be kind?’ It’s ridiculous. It isn’t the job of other adults to baby you through life.

Maybe if it’s so important that people get support from other parents then the op should not be making herself uncontactable and leaving her child to be cared for free of charge by another woman who is also a parent.

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Well said

misslonglegs · 01/02/2023 09:38

Sadly there’s an awful attitude to Early Years workers, who are mainly women often with children of their own, working long hours and low pay.

The entitlement to arrive late to collect your child on this thread is breathtaking.

I imagine when doors are closed there’s paperwork, tidying, cleaning to be done sometimes or that people are on a tight schedule to collect their own children, make their way home etc.

Calling out these extremely entitled attitudes isn’t bullying. What is worrying is how people don’t respect the personal time of EY workers.

Judgyjudgy · 01/02/2023 09:40

AprilFools2015 · 01/02/2023 07:08

Thank goodness for Janefondofu & Athena, was worried I'd stepped into a parallel universe for a mo. 10 mins the odd time is ok & she was rude OP (imo). Try & get your phone fixed tho (& pal up to the other mums, get their numbers) cos u need to be able to communicate with family, friends & childcare provider.

Am I the only one who thinks its odd the nursery closes at 3pm tho? Both my DS nurseries closed at 6pm...because, u know, people have these pesky things called jobs! I'd give her shade for why the early closing next time.

But isn't 10 minutes the odd time, times all of the parents 10 minutes every day. Are you happy to work 10 extra minutes for free everyday? It's just disrespectful, especially in OPs case not even calling ahead, broken phone or not

Mouse82 · 01/02/2023 09:42

Beamur · 30/01/2023 17:22

Most nurseries fine you for late pick ups.
At DD's old nursery it's a £10 penalty if you are late.

At ours, children are uninsured before and after along with the fine. The late fee goes to the educators that have to stay behind and 30 minutes late, the police and child protection are called.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 01/02/2023 09:45

we get charged £1 a minute that we are late - money goes directly to the staff who had to stay back to mind the child!!

its not fair for staff to have to stay back and with no phone call it would be really frustrating

Livpool · 01/02/2023 09:48

barms90 · 30/01/2023 18:10

So your late and the woman doesn't want to engage in a conversation with you which would make her more late yet she was rude?

Exactly! Talking to OP would have made her more late!

cracktheshutters · 01/02/2023 09:52

As everyone has pointed out, you were late, which is your fault, you’re to blame etc. I can understand to a degree that this happens sometimes - is it the first time? I work 15-20 miles away and always leave in enough time to get to the school but if there was a RTC or something then obv it’s not something you can plan for!

Moving on, you being late was not your kids fault, so this nursery worker should still have acted the same as usual with your kid. Is it usual for him to be ignored by her? To be honest I’d have a massive problem with her attitude toward your kid, not to you. YTA for being late, but I think the nursery worker is definitely TA for her attitude in not even saying bye to the kiddo. I’d be questioning how great the workers are with the kids.

TheOrigRights · 01/02/2023 09:56

What if there had been an emergency regarding your DD? They would contact the other people on the list - the list they keep which takes into account that things happen.

DangerNoodles · 01/02/2023 10:01

That's all very well but doesn't OP want to know if there is an emergency? Imagine getting there at pickup and your DC has been sent to hospital a couple of hours ago. Yes sometimes parents are in a meeting, have to keep thier phone in thier locker etc but that can't be helped. To not have a working phone is just careless. I just can't imagine dropping my DCs off knowing that they wouldn't be able to contact me.

DangerNoodles · 01/02/2023 10:02

That post was meant to be in response to @TheOrigRights and other posters who claim it's OK for the OP not to replace her phone.