Late picking up DD from nursery

[hellomynameissuzy]

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

That is exactly the point!! It's not about the time she was late it's the whole attitude of coming on here thinking the nursery worker is in the wrong for being pissed off!! Like you stated were all late at some point or as many people have pointed out we can't always control the things around us but it's not that that's the issue, it's that clearly the OP doesn't think what she did was that big of a deal otherwise she wouldn't be on here moaning about the girl. I work in retail and the amount of entitled customers we get in is unreal!! People who believe the customer is always right, and that the poor woman should have smiled politely and pretended that everything was ok even though she was clearly pissed off at the situation (and let's be real here most of us would if this was eating into our free unpaid time!) Why should she put on a fake smile?? She was angry you were late and instead of explaining straight away or even better yet calling ahead to explain that you were going to be late you showed absolutely no consideration to other people around you and now you're upset that the worker showed you how annoyed she was by it?? OP I think you need to realise that you were in the wrong for not notifying them, accept that you messed up and move on. Don't expect them to apologize and please don't go and complain to her manager, she watches your child all day for you whilst you're in work... Please be respectful of that and realise she is a human being with feelings and not your personal assistant. The whole be kind thing works both ways 🙂

Precisely!

Two wrongs don't make a right

Oh for god' sake 🙈

Let's get back to reality....
They wouldn't ignore you and not respond. It's unprofessional. Yes, they may say 'no' and make you reschedule and presumably they would communicate with words to do that. Blanking someone is rude and unprofessional behaviour.

???

Back in reality the receptionist at my GP would be very curt. Just ‘no you’ve missed your appointment.’ They would not converse any further about it. They certainly wouldn’t work an extra 10 mins for free to accommodate your lateness!

@Kanaloa but if you'd been delayed by the OP being late picking up her child having a knock on effect, it's not laziness, it's a situation outside your control.

So curtness is not required, but explaining the options is. ie make another appointment etc.

But they wouldn't ignore you, like nursery nurse did. OP wasn't expecting a long conversation but she wasn't expecting to be ignored either. Still rude. Next...

And you wouldn’t expect a GP to work 10 extra minutes to accommodate your lateness. Which this nursery nurse did. Next.

No that's right I wouldn't. That's not how it works in childcare though is it? You can't just leave the child outside and go home. Nursery nurses and nursery managers know this, they have late policies and procedures in place, they have designated staff for this. It's not a fun part of the job but it still doesn't mean you get to blank someone when they do collect and apologise. It's rude. It's unprofessional and I assure you that her manager would not be impressed with this. I worked in childcare for 14 years, lots of late pick ups, some one offs, some serial offenders. Always polite and courteous, short and to the point feedback. Many parents were very apologetic and flustered and because I'm a human being, I would make sure they were calm and reassured, ready to drive home safely. What's the point of being rude and ignorant? Where's it going to get you? Apart from the sack? It's part of the job. I've had parents turn up with no bag for their child, even though they have wet accidents frequently. Some bring their ill children in and dose them up on Calpol. You can't just ignore a parent because you're annoyed or inconvenienced by them. It's immature. Perhaps the dentist comparison doesn't sit well, but to be honest, it applies to any public facing job. It's ok to walk away if someone is being abusive but I don't think apologising for their crime is being late is? Am I missing something?

Yeah exactly, you can't just leave a child that's what makes you even more of a CF to not turn up on time. It was rude of the worker to ignore her though, quite unprofessional, maybe she had something serious going on personally and didn't want to be late for whatever it was. It was made worse because OP didn't let them know either so she probably had no idea how long it might be

HNRTFT but I definitely think that being late for any reason is rude and disrespectful! Yes very occasionally shit happens can honestly say I have never been late for any reason apart from falling over breaking arm and missing study day ! Even then I called the organisers to cancel….actually no I asked the paramedics to call.

I was late picking up dd1 at her last day of nursery. I had dd2 who was 6 weeks old and dh had been working constantly so I thought finishing time was 1.30pm and discovered at 1.10pm it was actually 1pm. They were extremely nice about it and I apologised. Dd2 was also flung about her buggy like a f1 driver as I ran to get there.

Luckily we didn't get charged etc but if we did I'd have fully accepted it as my fault.

The vitriol for tardiness is real 😂
Being late doesn't automatically make you a CF. Life happens. I assume none of you have had the nappy blowout as you are leaving the house, car trouble, hit bad traffic that's not shown up on Google maps. A job that you can't just leave, like the poor nursery worker above? We can't be this unsympathetic about lateness surely? Hateful even? It gives people the right to ignore someone, even in our professional roles? She didn't even say goodbye to the child. That's not ok.
Being late is annoying and doing it regularly without making changes to prevent it is taking the mick. But, if you're a nursery worker that works the end shift, there will be late pick ups from time to time. I used to do this shift and I changed my hours when I had to start collecting my own child as I couldn't be late myself.
OP was late, she knows that's not good, she apologised, got blanked, she asked if she was unreasonable to find that rude. I don't think so. She would be unreasonable to report it or take her child out because of it. She should take her out and make other arrangements if there an ongoing reason that could keep making her late. The nursery would be within their right to terminate the child's place if she was a serial offender for being late but even then, she would receive communication about this verbally or via a letter. She would be offered a meeting or phonecall to discuss it, where they would SPEAK about it, like adults.

People saying she wasn't professional by ignoring op, she wasn't being paid to be professional was she as op was late, op sounds pathetic and infantile tbh I can't imagine being rude enough to be late to pick my child up, giving some ridiculous apology and expecting the other person to speak to me when they're not being paid. 🤔. Grow up no one has to speak to you full stop, did you ask a question ? Nothing you said warranted a response. Absolutely nothing.
As for people claiming that the worker shouldn't be showing this behaviour in front of children, should she have shown how angry she was and how much of a crap parent op is by not having a working phone, not informing anyone of lateness and turning up with a pathetic apology

@Delladon , I see it differently. No vitriol was thrown I think, but yes, it was pointed out that OP was in the wrong. And I have read comments from people who themselves are in childcare or have a friend or familymember working there. Like me. It happens on a regular base a young friend app's me begging to pick up her 3 children from school because....yep.....she is stuck on her job in the nursery due to a parent being late. Again. The nurseryworker was probably fuming and then to say nothing at all probably is the best option. I bet she didn't feel like making light conversation with OP, but did she yell at her? Did she threaten OP? No, she just gave her the cold shoulder. Good girl. Imagine how OP would have posted if the childminder had said anything like "you know you should be in time" or "please don't do this again, my own child is waiting for me". I have the impression OP would have wanted the nurseryworker to have told her never mind, I'm happy to stay late for your child. And that simply is not the case.

If your phones broken how do they get hold of you if your dd is poorly or something?

I think the simple answer is, don’t be late. Obviously but sometimes I get it’s unavoidable. I’ve been late once… 15 mins… but I did ring ahead, and I was stuck in traffic because of an accident on the motorway so couldn’t do much about it. Our nursery was absolutely fine about it and didn’t even charge a late fee as they knew was a one off. But, yeah she sounds rude.

This

Yep. Professional is someone being paid to do a job.

As OP was late, the poor woman had reverted to amateur status and had no requirement to be professional to OP as OPs actions had removed her professional status

Don't be ridiculous. When you do this type of work especially then you have a duty to represent your profession and behave civily whether you're working or not. If I bumped into my kid's teacher/doctor in the supermarket then I wouldn't expect them to act in their job role or be my mate necessarily but I would certainly have a big issue if they totally ignored me or were rude to me. And anyway whether this staff member was there beyond her contracted hours or not she was still responsible for that child until she handed her back to mum. She doesn't just get to turn into a bitch when the clock strikes 3 that isn't how it works

The problem is, a lot of parents will be taking the attitude ‘life happens’ and that nursery workers should suck it up.

So you’ll have multiple parents with multiple lateness and the parent is only aware of the few times they’ve been late, when nursery workers are dealing with it multiple times from different parents - disrupting their leaving time and personal time.

I agree OP being late was wrong. She admitted that herself.
Nursery nurses that work on the pick up shift need to allow for the late situation it happens. It just does, you'll never eradicate it. Trains get cancelled, no alternative pick up. Broken down cars, road accidents. Its no less annoying if its for a genuine reason, it still impacts on the worker but it is what it is.
She wasn't being good, giving someone the cold shoulder is childish and rude. Hopefully it's a one off (only human) but if she's going to behave like that every time a parent irritates her then she's in the wrong job(!)
We don't know why the OP was late and all the stuff at the end of your post is just an assumption.
I'd imagine it's blown over by now and things will be fine between them. And we can move on with our lives 😂

I get the feeling that the OP is always the late parent. That's potentially why she got a frosty response as people tire of this entitled behaviour quickly. It's almost as though th OP wants the nursery worker to facilitate her tardiness. This nursery sounds like either school or a council run nursery as it's middle of the afternoon, so they wouldn't charge. The charge is irrelevant really. OPs attitude is the problem.

Perfect world, she could have been more polite, but similarly, you could have been on time. I think this balances itself out.

Maybe she had an appointment that she was now going to have to rush to/be late for, and didn't have time for polite small talk?

They ring one of the other emergency contacts?

@Delladon there are no 'designated staff' for lateness.