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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sam Smith's New Music Video

385 replies

Oioicaptain · 30/01/2023 15:03

There's been criticism in the press over the sexualisation/borderline pornography on the video. I've just watched it. It just seems pretty misogynistic to me. He appears to smash a wine glass onto a woman's head and then it looks as though the women are being urinated upon (although it's not clear ...maybe it was meant to be champagne). What are other people's interpretation/views on it. I may well be mistaken.

OP posts:
NotAnotherBathBomb · 01/02/2023 08:35

Rainbowclimbinghigh · 31/01/2023 22:02

Surely 'pop' music is more for children/teens than adults?! Didn't we all religiously watch TOTP on a Thursday/Friday night as kids? I don't know half of what's 'in' nowadays, I usually listen to Absolute Radio 90s 🤣

I didn’t grow up on the UK, so no. And as children we weren’t allowed to watch MTV. And you’ve thrown in teens but a poster higher up specifically mentioned her 8 year old. No, your 8 year old shouldn’t be watching music videos. I’m a nanny to a wide range of kids, the oldest being in year 7. None of them have free access to the internet and TV time is monitored.

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/02/2023 08:50

NotAnotherBathBomb · 01/02/2023 08:35

I didn’t grow up on the UK, so no. And as children we weren’t allowed to watch MTV. And you’ve thrown in teens but a poster higher up specifically mentioned her 8 year old. No, your 8 year old shouldn’t be watching music videos. I’m a nanny to a wide range of kids, the oldest being in year 7. None of them have free access to the internet and TV time is monitored.

As an adult though what are your thoughts on the white corset and nipple tassels?

Personally I just want to laugh at how unflattering it is and curious to know what was going through SS when he watched it back.

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/02/2023 08:55

Going through SS head.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 01/02/2023 09:19

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/02/2023 08:50

As an adult though what are your thoughts on the white corset and nipple tassels?

Personally I just want to laugh at how unflattering it is and curious to know what was going through SS when he watched it back.

I find SS INCREDIBLY unappealing. I am attracted to men and nothing in that video ‘turns me on’. But SS isn’t making the video for me. I’m assuming someone, somewhere got a twitch from it.

I do love the WAP video though, so I’m feeling a bit defensive of SS right to be offensive, we like different things.

I’m positive that the vast majority of this thread isn’t SS target audience.

ArtixLynx · 01/02/2023 09:32

i'm quite sure they're not.

I think the first couple of outfits are ok.. i think he looks really good in the black.
Not keen on the bottle being smashed on the persons head.

My over-arching thought is what on earth is he wearing in the last bit?

I think music videos have a right to be contentious, that its entirely up to the artists how they want to come across/the vibe they want from them, and to go.. fuck it, this is me, take it or leave it... but i do really want to question some of the choices of clothing in the video, purely because Sam does have the potential to 'look good' in their clothes regardless of weight, and they missed the opportunity to show that.

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/02/2023 10:22

NotAnotherBathBomb · 01/02/2023 09:19

I find SS INCREDIBLY unappealing. I am attracted to men and nothing in that video ‘turns me on’. But SS isn’t making the video for me. I’m assuming someone, somewhere got a twitch from it.

I do love the WAP video though, so I’m feeling a bit defensive of SS right to be offensive, we like different things.

I’m positive that the vast majority of this thread isn’t SS target audience.

I'm not offended by SS and I'm sure he's doing it for some people and they think it looks sexy. To me it looks like a comedy sketch.

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/02/2023 10:46

Not he's, I should have said they've

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/02/2023 10:46

They're

LexMitior · 01/02/2023 11:43

Non binary sleaze by Peter Kay

bathsh3ba · 01/02/2023 13:59

Not to mention the song is about how unfair it is to be friendzoned - incel anyone?

MeinKraft · 01/02/2023 14:03

bathsh3ba · 01/02/2023 13:59

Not to mention the song is about how unfair it is to be friendzoned - incel anyone?

I thought it was just about a person out on the pull

bathsh3ba · 01/02/2023 14:05

@MeinKraft I think the title makes it quite clear and that's the interpretation my 15yo daughter made of it

FlameGrilledSquirrel · 01/02/2023 14:08

Furore over misgendering (or whatever)? Check.

No taste video? Check.

Maybe just come out with a decent and memorable song...

MeinKraft · 01/02/2023 14:16

bathsh3ba · 01/02/2023 14:05

@MeinKraft I think the title makes it quite clear and that's the interpretation my 15yo daughter made of it

You're probably right. Been a while since I was 15 Grin

potniatheron · 01/02/2023 14:58

You can get away with this sort of stuff if you can make it look cool.

Lucille Bogan committed to vinyl some incredibly sexually graphic songs in the 1920s and she got away with it because she looked and sounded cool.

Madonna made a video in which she had sex with her boyfriend Black Jesus and she got away with it because she looked and sounded cool.

Megan The Stallion raps about the, er, intramuscular range of her pussy and she gets away with it because she looks and sounds cool.

Sam Smith does not look cool and his song does not sound cool. That is why it comes across as cringey rather than cutting edge. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules of cool. He's just not cool.

I would also like to add that contrary to popular belief, urine is NOT sterile and you should NOT drink someone else's no matter how much it turns you on.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 01/02/2023 17:25

potniatheron · 01/02/2023 14:58

You can get away with this sort of stuff if you can make it look cool.

Lucille Bogan committed to vinyl some incredibly sexually graphic songs in the 1920s and she got away with it because she looked and sounded cool.

Madonna made a video in which she had sex with her boyfriend Black Jesus and she got away with it because she looked and sounded cool.

Megan The Stallion raps about the, er, intramuscular range of her pussy and she gets away with it because she looks and sounds cool.

Sam Smith does not look cool and his song does not sound cool. That is why it comes across as cringey rather than cutting edge. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules of cool. He's just not cool.

I would also like to add that contrary to popular belief, urine is NOT sterile and you should NOT drink someone else's no matter how much it turns you on.

There was a thread about Meghan Thee Stallion not so long ago on here, all about how horrible she is as well. People just need to accept that not everything is for them, and that different people like different things.

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/02/2023 18:08

NotAnotherBathBomb · 01/02/2023 17:25

There was a thread about Meghan Thee Stallion not so long ago on here, all about how horrible she is as well. People just need to accept that not everything is for them, and that different people like different things.

I understand this. Still think it's funny though.

Milly2022 · 01/02/2023 18:33

Has to go for shock value as they/them or whatever has no discernible talent.

ArtixLynx · 01/02/2023 18:35

Milly2022 · 01/02/2023 18:33

Has to go for shock value as they/them or whatever has no discernible talent.

just because you don't like their music doesn't mean they have no talent.

Not everything is for you.

TonTonMacoute · 01/02/2023 18:57

Desperate attention seeking from a mediocre talent and a pretty crap song.

Nonicknamesleft · 02/02/2023 18:31

Zonder · 30/01/2023 15:46

I saw some posts on twitter saying that people don't like the fact that he's embracing his feminine side and wearing feminine clothes. I can't see anything feminine in his look or dress.

Exactly this.

Burgoo · 02/02/2023 19:36

Well he certainly has everyone talking! And I think that is precisely what he was going for... well done all, it worked! I have two minds about this video.

As a liberal I believe that everyone has the right to do, say and think what they want - as long as it does not harm another person. Now we know that parents have responsibility for ensuring children don't watch inappropriate content, it isn't the role of a creator to police/censor themselves in case people get to see it who shouldn't. I don't mind boundary pushing; heck some of my behaviour in my younger years would make your hair curl! But he isn't 20 anymore either.

His behaviour over the past few years has been somewhat erratic and I suspect he has some fairly weak people around him who aren't willing to stand up and say what they think. That or his whole social circle is just as disturbed as he is and thinks that this sort of video won't receive a huge backlash. Though to be honest any press is good press if it gets eyeballs on his music.

AND I am a bisexual man. I know that there will be some idiots out there who will conflate his video and the behaviour in it to be a reflection of the "gay" lifestyle. I find any gay/bisexual figure who acts like this in public to be revolting, simply because I have been on the receiving end of horrific abuse in the 1990s because of my sexuality. I see the likes of Julian Clary and now Sam Smith and it makes me think “you are really not helping society to accept gay people”. Even those like David Walliams who plays effeminate for laughs drive me to despair.

I do think he is an early death waiting to happen, unfortunately. His behaviour is ringing HUGE alarm bells and someone should ideally have a gentle word in his ear because given his age, sexuality, gender identity, fame etc he is a tragedy waiting to happen.

Burgoo · 02/02/2023 19:39

@Zonder "I saw some posts on twitter saying that people don't like the fact that he's embracing his feminine side and wearing feminine clothes. I can't see anything feminine in his look or dress."

I think it is more the fact he looks like a character from a mashup between Rocky Horror Picture Show and Little Britain (Matt Lucas's "only gay in the village" & Frank N Furter had a baby that had a piss fetish gag)

Tamarindtree · 02/02/2023 20:21

All I see is the love child of Pat Butcher and Rab C Nesbit.

Zonder · 02/02/2023 21:10

@Burgoo spot on. It's not feminine, it's a pastiche, male comedian version of pantomime female.