Revenge on the person that bullied me?

[ACTIVE123]

There was a girl that bullied me at school, called me names, beat me up and just made my life hell.

I recently found out she is working for the same company as me, (big company not the same department) bumped into her a couple of times, but I just avoided eye contact, didn't want to get into a fake how are you moment!

I now keep getting ideas of trying to get revenge on this person, embarrass her, make her pay somehow. No idea how as I'm generally not that kind of person. It just annoys me seeing her walk around, living her life, knowing she got away with it all, as I never told anyone!

We were 16/17 when the bullying happened, so it's not like it was young kids. She knows what she did and if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd feel bad and apologise, but she's clearly just not built the same as me.

Am I wrong for entertaining these thoughts or do I just carry on being the bigger person and ignoring her?

Also, to say my job is important to me, so wouldn't want to risk getting into trouble at work over it, or looking immature at work.

If I were you, I’d wait for the opportunity to act all nice to her then catch her off guard and say, ‘’Remember when you bullied me and made my life absolute hell at school?’’ I do.’’ She will be embarrassed, flustered and feel very, very awkward and uncomfortable.

That would be enough for me to watch her squirm. Even better if it’s said in front of others!

That's really inspirational. Would you mind sharing what you do professionally? DD is going through a rough patch at school, she's very bright and capable but the girls are horrible to her. It would be great to give her examples of successfully getting through this.

There was someone I hated in work and was a right bitch to me. We shared an office, just me and her. She had a little fridge that she kept her milk in and when she was being particularly mean I’d spit in it and then try not to laugh when I saw her drinking her coffee with the milk in it.
Not my proudest moment but I was young and stupid 🤷‍♀️

Unless there was a police record than a managerwould only have the Op,s word for it t that her bully did,beat,her up I hope no.professional manager,would fail.someone,on heresay.

The best revenge is to be more successful than she is; and it's sound like you are.

Yeah that would be very immature and if said in front of others ,would make the Op then look like the bully

Why would it be immature? It’s the least she deserves and it would be the far better option than physically seeking any revenge that could get OP sacked.

The best way to beat a bully is to make them feel awkward.

And it the Bully denies everything?
she could say it was the Op.that was the bully and is stiil.bullying her paticularly,if the Ops is witnessed trying to humiliate her in the workplace!

There is nothing you can do without damaging yourself or making yourself look like a bully.

Don't forget the saying about if you are seeking revenge, first dig 2 graves.

Keep away from her.

Do your job to the best of your abilities & hopefully your name will get mentioned enough to have real revenge by showing you don't give a stuff about her & her bullying.

So? Let her deny it, her reaction will tell all.

If it was me who OP said it in front of I’d think, ‘’good for you!’’ Why should OP not say anything to somebody who made her life hell? She deserves to be confronted, and OP deserves closure if that’s what she wants.

If OP doesn’t have a reputation for that kind of behaviour then it would be let go as a one off. I’m not saying carry on making her feel awkward, just once is enough.

It is a very reliable way to make people stop and think about their actions. Why should a disgusting bully get off Scott free?

Scot free* even

@DeltaHanna im a surgeon. You can tell your daughter my story, I was horribly bullied for years. For no reason really other than I wasn’t a ‘giggly’ girl and never seemed to fit in. I never had a best friend, felt so lonely and insecure. People would call me names, whisper about me in front of me, make up rumours, send me nasty notes/ texts saying I should kill myself, they wished I was dead, they excluded me, they would even corner me and slap me and push me, lock me in the loos. All sorts.

then I went to uni and still felt I didn’t fit in with ‘the posh girls’ all from private school. However I worked hard, kept true to myself and didn’t ‘pretend’ to be anything and as I went out into the real world I found a lovely husband, and found lovely friends who are grown up and we don’t entertain any of that bitching anymore. Hope that helps. Tell her people will catch up with her eventually, she doesn’t need to hide her light to fit in xx

Well.you are making stories up now back in the real.world people have to act professionally in the work place otherwise there are repercussions.

What’s so bad about saying, ‘’Do you remember bullying me at school?’’ I’m not telling OP to say ‘’Do you remember bullying me at school, you stupid bitch?’’

Totally different. This is why there are so many twats in the world, people are too scared and walk on eggshells.

Her bully will not give two hoots about her doing well at work, especially if they work in different departments, believe me. She’ll be focused on her own life.

I’m not a bully but I know that I couldn’t care less about how well other people I don’t care about do at work, it has zero effect on my life, so I doubt the bully will be giving the OP’s career progression much headspace.

As someone who was bullied to point of suicide and is still dealing with this today, nope don't do it you will open old wounds.

Show you are better than them by building your career.

I just refuse to watch anyone be bulled as a micu stronger person these days.

Yes we all have revenge thoughts but move on.

Thank you, it helps a lot 😊
Somehow I had wondered if it was medicine, DD wants to be a doctor. I am so sorry for what you went through as a teenager, horrible, inhumane mob mentality. I love that you have a lovely life with a job, family and friends. I have been telling dd to be true to herself and that many people go through this. Thanks again and 'un-mumsnetty' xxx.

References and personal references, recommendations and experiences of the candidate are very important in many industries. I know of someone who was let go during probation due to a personal tip off from a trusted person.

Clearly you don’t understand what the word “karma” means. Intentionally seeking revenge is not karma.

I wouldn't do anything to intentionally ruin her. If she tried the fake "oh hello, how are you?" I wouldn't think twice about mentioning how she tormented you when you were younger while everyone else is around to hear.

Well, you've answered your own question really. You're 3 levels above her in the company and she must know that since she works in HR. Keep sailing past her with a faint smile on your face. And keep getting promoted.

Thanks for your message. I think that is the problem that I look back and wished I had reported it to the police or let my mum do so, when I went home with a black eye. There was a group of them about 10 vs me and she was the ring leader. Hindsight is a bitch but wished she would have had some repercussion then when it was relevant.

If I could find someway where no one would know it was me, then I would do something like slash her tyres or something, but it's just not worth the risk, she's not worth it. I just hope that one day someone hurts her or hurts her child like I was and then she'd know how it feels. Not very grown up or mature of me, but it's true!

"hurts her child like I was"

So out of order, and made me lose a massive amount of sympathy for you. Her, sure, yes, she did it. But wishing what you obviously felt was an awful experience on an innocent child is shitty. And makes me wonder if your moral compass is much better than your bully's.

I'm now friendly with the girl who bullied me at school. Turns out she had some crap things going on in her life and she took it out on me.

She's lovely now she's away from those things and a mother herself.

Yes I'd have loved to take revenge but if she deserved it, karma would get her without my involvement.

Maybe say hi to her, you never know what's going on and she may even apologise.

Just ignore her as much as you can without looking unprofessional.

I've had Facebook requests from people who made my life hell at school and I can't be bothered with them and don't go to any reunions.