CF and the City

[ThePriceOfSugar]

I live in NYC.

A couple of months ago, an old friend got in touch with me for the first time in about a year and expressed that she wanted to come to the US on holiday. I said cool, I'll give you my recommendations for NYC.

Just now, she's said to me "I'm arriving on March 10th and heading to New Orleans on the 17th. Is it still okay for me to stay with you?"

Needless to say, she never even asked. I'm quite breathtaken by the cheek. Last time I saw this girl was 6 years ago, when she....invited herself to stay (different city).

I'm not down to save this girl $2,000 in hotel and convenience bills. But how should I phrase my reply? Hold me back....

i like the fact youre so straightforward Op

Sorry but you never mentioned staying with me, I have other guests over but would love to catch up for a beer one evening while you’re here. Let me know your hotel details.

More people suggesting you apologise!
don't say "so sorry" whatever you do, you've done nothing wrong.
As pp have said upthread, don't lie and don't apologise.

No!!!

Then they think it's big enough for you to host them in future!

Don't give a reason.

RTFT!

Exactly.
All these suggestions to apologise and lie really aren't going to help.

@ThePriceOfSugar she doesn't frequent Burning Man does she?

i don’t think your old friend misread your message. All she did is to take a chance. I’m sure if you say no she would be prepared for it. An never lie like you need to go away or host other guests,otherwise she would probably say, ‘oh yeah , I’ve changed my plane tickets so I can go when you have rooms available…’

Just say “Are you having a laugh?”

Is she a good friend . If so dont be such a tight wad. If a good friend of mine offered to visit I would be offended if she/he stayed in a hotel.

Just be chill but to the point,

oh I didn’t realise you meant you would be staying with me, I don’t remember seeing that in the message, I’m afraid that’s not possible. But give us a shout if you want to catch up for a drink while you’re here.

Come on, read the thread.

I’m off to New York n the 23rd Feb, when you cooking me dinner 😉

that's the last thing to say - she'll just ask you to arrange leaving the keys somewhere & expect to stay without the inconvenience of seeing you.

Whilst i fully understand why you might not wish to host your friend, how are fixed for hosting about 100 mumsnetters? - different dates/times obviously, maybe, possibly, or even all together?
All people that have been here for YOU, to help YOU through this traumatic event in your life.
Many thanks in advance.
:-D
Btw, do they shuffle a lot in Harlem? ;-)
lol

No! She’ll ask to use the apartment!

Er, what?

This is someone that he only knows a little who’s invited themselves to stay with him for a week, and has politely been told no.

How on Earth is the OP awful?

No lies, no apologies and personally, she's a grown arsed woman, so she can search for her own accommodation/s, assuming she can, seeing as she can book several flights. Would definitely start your message with 'LOL' , that made me chuckle 😃 Don't be the waywards holiday accomodation booty call.
Can't wait to see how this pans out

Where's her response! I am way too invested in this!

It's pretty clear this person isn't a close friend that OP is bothered about losing. Clearly chancing it as she knows she never asked. The 'still' is just to make it more awkward for you to reply no OP, she's hoping you'll be too embarrassed and it will save her a ton of money. Don't be, and no need to lie! Just say 'we never discussed you staying here and it's just not possible.' Keep it simple as if you start offering excuses that's where you're likely to get caught out. If you want to be more friendly you can always bulk it out with 'I think we've got our wires crossed as I thought you were after recommendations not to stay with me, which we didn't discuss. I'm afraid it's not possible this time but hopefully my recommendations come in handy and let me know if you want to meet up for a bite/drink/whatever'

Is this for real?! Do you actually think the OP should have to host and look after an acquaintance, even without the disaster of last time? NYC accommodation is notoriously small and if you're planning a vacation that's on you, accommodation and all! If you can't afford the accommodation don't go. If you're going over specifically to visit someone or they offer that's different but nobody should expect a free ride because they happen to know someone living somewhere

You don't realise how cheeky some people can be until you live in a touristy spot. If I was the type of person who liked to host random people I'd be running a B&B.

My NDN as a child was a New Yorker who retired abroad and she was so strict on even invited guests, her rule was that no one was allowed to stay more than 3 days at a time. They had to go elsewhere after 3 days, they could come back later but it was 3 days max at a time and it worked really well for her and she made it clear to people coming to stay beforehand. Not saying thats what you should do OP as this was invited people.

Don't sat this OP. Be honest. 'I did not say you could stay here. Happy to meet up for a drink while you are in NYC. Let me know if you want to do that. Have a great time.'

What did you send in the end?

… what was her reply??