WIBU to have asked for a favour?

[NothingOnTopButABucketAndAMop]

My car failed it’s MOT on Tuesday, I could not afford the repairs so it’s off the road basically.
I don’t go many places anyway but I did need shopping so I messaged a friend telling her my car was off the road and could she take us shopping sometime this weekend.
Initially she said she would then a few hours later (when her husband got home if that means anything!) she messaged back saying actually she had too much on. It would have taken her an hour and a half max.
Now I’m thinking WIBU to have even asked at all??!

I think it was ok to ask - if all other options were exhausted. I dont drive and manage fine; online for the big/heavy shop and smaller top ups of essentials at the local Tesco Express type shops. Would this not tide you over til your car is back on the road? Equally, perfectly acceptable for her to say no as it does sound like it would take up a chunk of her day

I think you’re very cheeky to ask! Do a Tesco online shop! £1.50 delivery in a flexi slot!

It's ok to ask a friend for a favour but it's also ok for them to say no.

Yes - YABVVVU. If a friend asked me to do this I'd be like "wtf"??

Delivery would add at least £5 to my shopping which I can’t really afford but I’ll have to do that now. Just wish she hadn’t initially agreed.

Nearest shop is 15 minute walk away which is difficult for me as I have health issues.

But the petrol money would have been about £5?

Also I’ve just put the distance into maps and it’s actually 20 minutes to my house from hers so I miscalculated

It wouldn't be at least £5 though, that's not true at all.

Also surely you were going to offer her some petrol money for driving so far and taking so long out of her day to do you the favour so that would also cost you?

So an hour and a half travel time for her so you can do half an hours shopping?

I'd take you IF I was going shopping myself, but thats a big ask unless you do similar sized favours for her already.

I somehow don’t think OP was planning on paying petrol money.

I'm impressed so many PPs would give up two or three hours of their weekend to save someone five pounds.

I assume they'd also be on board to do that weekly until the OP can have her car fixed.

Very impressive.

So you can't afford to pay £5 for delivery, but you think it's OK to expect your friend to use her petrol for you?
I'm pretty much a you don't get if you don't ask person, but even if I wouldn't ask this! It's so cheeky

I think you were unreasonable to ask.

30 mins to get to you then 15 to Tesco, 45 mins shopping, 15 mins back to you, unloading car, 30 mins back to hers. That's a big chunk of someone's weekend.

Take a taxi or have shopping delivered. Like the rest of the world would do.

If they were that much of a friend enough to ask a favour that would have taken as long as you originally thought you would have known roughly how long to their house as you would have been before?

If I had never been to a friends house I would not feel close enough to have thought it would have taken 1.5hrs driving time all up to do me a favour like that

It's of course a difficult situation for you, but you were not asking just your friend's time, you also asked her to subsidise you, if you weren't planning to pay for petrol. If you were planning to pay for petrol, you can also pay for delivery.

So you can't afford £5 delivery fee so how would you afford to pay for her petrol? Or was you expecting her to drive you around for free?

I call reverse.

Delivery would add at least £5 to my shopping

But her petrol would cost her a few quid. Plus, as you’ve worked out, at least an hour and a half of her time. So no, it wasn’t reasonable to ask someone to put themselves out to save you £5. A trip to hospital when you’re not allowed to take a taxi by yourself? Fair enough. A two hour round trip to save you a fiver? No way.

And she initially agreed because she felt she couldn’t say no. She’ll then have run it past someone else, who’ll have told her it was an unreasonable ask and then felt confident to say no. But you’ll have caused her some stress by the request. You wish she hadn’t agreed; she’ll wish you hadn’t put her in that position in the first place…..

well my car is off the road forever, in that I dont have one, and have never asked a friend to take me shopping

I hope she was planning on something.
A nice lunch when they got back to hers, for example.

When you said it was 30 minutes to your house from hers I thought this must be a reverse, but from your later responses it seems not.

Yes, it’s totally unreasonable- even if she lived right near you it would be unreasonable to ask her to take you shopping if she wasn’t already going. But who on earth would want to drive half an hour to pick someone up, drive 15 minutes to Tesco and then wait while they do the shopping and drive them back?

Your comment about online shop costing you £5 extra is so selfish. In addition to your friend’s petrol costs, you are seriously expecting your friend to give up what will be at least 3 hours of her time to save you £5?

I think this is bullshit. Nobody would do this.

Nope. I take my dp shopping but only when I am going myself and he lives 5 mins away. I resent shopping for myself, let alone giving up a big chunk of my weekend to take someone else when there are other options available, so I mostly online shop anyway. Delivery fee doesn't usually work out as more than fuel to go there and back anyway but I would say your friend would be spending more than your £5 delivery fee on ferrying you around!

Does she realise that you'd find it difficult to walk there?

Are there no neighbours who who would take you next time they go or pick something up for you?

But it's probably not far off £5 in fuel for your friend to drive for you and you'd pay her fuel costs wouldn't you?

I often find it's better to pay the delivery charge...after the cost of fuel to the supermarket (about £3 for me) and then anything I'd get tempted to when browsing the shop for real it would easily make up to £5. When it's delivery I check the cupboards whilst placing the order so I don't over buy things we have enough of and plan my meals much better so it's often cheaper.

YANBU to ask. Yabu to whine that she didn’t take you.
Book an online delivery from your favourite supermarket, you could have done it in the time you’ve wasted on this thread.