WIBU to have asked for a favour?

[NothingOnTopButABucketAndAMop]

My car failed it’s MOT on Tuesday, I could not afford the repairs so it’s off the road basically.
I don’t go many places anyway but I did need shopping so I messaged a friend telling her my car was off the road and could she take us shopping sometime this weekend.
Initially she said she would then a few hours later (when her husband got home if that means anything!) she messaged back saying actually she had too much on. It would have taken her an hour and a half max.
Now I’m thinking WIBU to have even asked at all??!

45 minutes to collect you and take you to Tesco, then wait for you, then 45 back?!

You're taking the piss!!!

Get a taxi or online shop

And that's a thought it's a weekly shop if she does it once does that mean you'll expect the same for the next however many weeks?

Will you do an online shop OP? I probably wouldn’t mind helping a friend but it’s a long drive and I’d suggest an online shop to them first. Can’t think why you couldn’t really.

You keep not answering the question as to why you can't get an online shop OP?

Most likely and it would be much harder for the poor friend to say no after committing to doing it once.

I don't understand why the first thought wasn't order an online shop.

I find DS never remembers the time he isn't in the car, when he ask for a lift. To get to college took him an hour by public transport, half an hour by car. No brainier- can I have a lift please?
No, that's an hour spent for me to save you 30 mins. doh.

At first I was with you op then I read your update. 45 mins each way plus what an hour in the supermarket/loading the car. Absolutely not. That’s several hours, no way would I drive that far. I don’t even drive that far for my own shopping.
No, just do an internet shop. Or walk or get a taxi. I walk further than each day to get to work.

I had a long period of not being able to drive.

I usually shop in Lidl but I just got a Tesco or Asda delivery for that time.

Can you do that?

@NothingOnTopButABucketAndAMop What is your relationship with this friend? How often do you see them generally to go out socially etc?

So 45 minutes each way and waiting time of possibly an hour. That's 2.5 hours, I think that's a bit much. How about you get it delivered instead?

Uber delivery usually have 50%% offers on groceries for first few orders - just get in essentials
I wouldn’t have asked in your situation and deffo would have said NO if you’d asked me

For 45 mins each way, by the time you'd given her petrol money surely it would've been as cheap to get a shop delivered?

I don’t drive, and DH is away for work and has had to stay on longer than planned, but I’m just grabbing basics on the way to work, or will take a cab for what I can’t carry — I could ask a friend, sure, but I think in your circumstances, the time and distance makes it quite a big ask for a busy person.

Agree with previous posters, that’s a good few hours out of a busy weekend when you had time to organise an internet shop.

Get a supermarket delivery, lots of people manage without cars

In my world this is how friends help each other but also I would 100% fit in with other friends plans !

A rather snidey comment about your 'friends' husband. Shop online like most others would

So at least 2 hours then, Op?

How much petrol money did you offer?

Why couldn't you get an online delivery?

That was a huge ask considering she lives so far away and online shopping with delivery exists.

If she’s a good friend it’s not terrible that you asked as long as you promised at least a tenner in petrol money.

But doesn’t being a friend also mean not imposing on friends when there is absolutely no need. I would conservatively estimate millions of people manage to get to a shop without a car every day.

I think it’s the way you phrased it, by specifying the weekend etc. It sounded like you expected her to drop everything for you at some point for your convenience. It also sounds like you think her dh has put his foot down. Out of curiosity, do you ask for favours a lot from this friend?

A friend who lived 5 minutes away - fine. But your favour will take up most of a morning or afternoon so I'm not surprised she said she was busy.
I'm all for doing favours but a 45 min each way trip plus 15 min each way to the supermarket would not be the easiest solution.
Is there a bus/train you can catch there and get a taxi back?

I'd absolutely help out a friend in need, but I'd expect a bit of self sufficiency in this online age.

You can either do an online shop, or surely there must be some sort of grocery shop within walking/taxi/bus distance without making her drive 30 mins each way plus to the shops.

Reminds me a bit of when I was taking a friend out for her shopping during chemo treatment- it was a number of years ago so online shopping didn't exist. I assumed we'd be going to the Asda 5 minutes drive away, but she insisted on me taking her to the Sainsburys which was much further as she couldn't possibly shop in Asda. Circumstances were different so I shrugged my shoulders and went with it, but I did remember.

Two 45 minute journeys, plus time shopping?

that’s a big chunk of her day.

plus the cost of fuel

cant you get the bus?