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Original poster

Naked children in mixed changing rooms-am I pearl clutching?

212 replies

AutisticLegoLover · 26/01/2023 16:38

Ds is 8 and goes to swimming lessons at a local pool. It's mixed changing. Just lately there's always been children aged around 5 showering naked after their swim. It's an open shower area with no cubicles. So when you walk in they are there in your line of vision. The changing room is full of all ages from babies to the elderly. Ds commented today that he doesn't want to see naked people. Surely it's inappropriate to be showering your dc naked in a mixed setting? Or am I clutching?

OP posts:
Billslills · 28/01/2023 10:42

Interesting responses, I actually though they'd be more against it than for it, so I have been surprised.

Personally, I wouldn't be interested in using a mixed changing room if I were on my own, but it has its purpose for parents and children.

Part of me wouldn't want my kids running around naked in front of strangers but on the other side of that, it is probably not a bad thing for kids to see lots of different bodies and at different ages considering the unrealistic sh!t they're going to be exposed to as they get older (but I would be more comfortable with it being the same sex only...)

HeavenIsAHalfpipe · 28/01/2023 10:49

YANBU @AutisticLegoLover If other people are happy, and fine, with their small/young children being naked in mixed changing rooms, then good for them. I am NOT happy or 'fine' with it. Like fuck would I ever have had my children naked in front of strangers - and that goes for women as well as men. I won't even go naked MYSELF in front of people. Especially strangers.

If that makes me a pearl clutcher/a prude/uptight etc etc, then I shall wear that badge with pride. I genuinely hand-on-heart could not give a fuck what people think. I am entitled to my own views and opinions, and I am not wrong. There IS no right ot wrong here.

supersonicginandtonic · 28/01/2023 16:38

@WendyAndClyde there is no local authority, anywhere in this country, where childrens services have the resources to worry about children showering naked, with their parents present, in a public swimming pool changing rooms 🤣🤣

Curriedpeanuts · 28/01/2023 16:59

I don't understand why it's a mixed changing area, surely they have male and female changing areas???

Your son is allowed to express a preference to not see naked bodies. However there is nothing wrong with small children being naked while they get changed. It is your son's issue (and yours to resolve for him), not the toddlers' issue.

Zanatdy · 28/01/2023 17:21

I personally wouldn’t have let my children shower naked after swimming as it was also a mixed sex area like most are now. But it wouldn’t bother me seeing a naked child, and does seem odd for an 8yr old child to have an issue with it. Either way it’s going to happen, whether you or your DC like it or not

Zanatdy · 28/01/2023 17:22

Curriedpeanuts · 28/01/2023 16:59

I don't understand why it's a mixed changing area, surely they have male and female changing areas???

Your son is allowed to express a preference to not see naked bodies. However there is nothing wrong with small children being naked while they get changed. It is your son's issue (and yours to resolve for him), not the toddlers' issue.

Very few public pools do now, none in my area. Most are mixed so families can get changed together I guess

WendyAndClyde · 28/01/2023 17:36

supersonicginandtonic · 28/01/2023 16:38

@WendyAndClyde there is no local authority, anywhere in this country, where childrens services have the resources to worry about children showering naked, with their parents present, in a public swimming pool changing rooms 🤣🤣

Where did I say that they would?

Although a lack of care in safeguarding your child can be looked at as part of a bigger picture if other issues are highlighted. And often when parents lack in one area, they also lack in other areas.

I'm sure you know that though right. With all your safeguarding experience...

supersonicginandtonic · 28/01/2023 19:29

@WendyAndClyde but it isn't a lack of safeguarding your child though is it? It's not like they're doing anything illegal, they're just doing things you wouldn't choose to do as a parent yourself. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I'd love you to find me a graded care profile or a safeguarding policy that says a parent cannot shower their YOUNG child naked.

WendyAndClyde · 28/01/2023 19:46

I'd love you to understand the basics about safeguarding.

But you don't.

You're happy for your children to be naked in front of random members of the public of either sex. It seems that you're stuck in the 70's and don't understand how risk changes and moves, particularly with social media. And you don't seem to care much about the dignity and privacy of your children.

Anyway, there's no point in continuing this discussion with you. Despite you identifying as a safeguarding professional, you don't seem to have a clue about risk assessment. And this ongoing discussion with you about your lack of understanding just isn't very interesting to me. Going and invest in a book about safeguarding and risk assessment if you want to educate yourself. 🤷‍♀️

tenthousandmaniacs · 28/01/2023 23:41

My DD is 7 and changes in the car because of that. The changing room is mixed and dads are also there changing their daughter. I don’t care if someone calls me precious but my DD is not on display just because she’s a child.

tenthousandmaniacs · 28/01/2023 23:44

WendyAndClyde · 28/01/2023 19:46

I'd love you to understand the basics about safeguarding.

But you don't.

You're happy for your children to be naked in front of random members of the public of either sex. It seems that you're stuck in the 70's and don't understand how risk changes and moves, particularly with social media. And you don't seem to care much about the dignity and privacy of your children.

Anyway, there's no point in continuing this discussion with you. Despite you identifying as a safeguarding professional, you don't seem to have a clue about risk assessment. And this ongoing discussion with you about your lack of understanding just isn't very interesting to me. Going and invest in a book about safeguarding and risk assessment if you want to educate yourself. 🤷‍♀️

I agree with you. There are also dads in the changing rooms now and I would never allow my DD to get naked in front of them. However I’ve seen many other little girls getting completely naked in front of some adult males and their mothers just don’t care.

jannier · 28/01/2023 23:58

I think it's a safeguarding issue in a world where people are chased for taking photos of clothed children any pervert can hang around a changing room.

jannier · 29/01/2023 00:01

BettyB0Op · 26/01/2023 17:24

She’s talking about her 8 year old son, are we talking about protecting children from being looked at by other children?? Are you supposed to grow up never knowing what a naked body looks like in real life???

There are people of all ages in mixed changing rooms some not there primarily to swim.

jannier · 29/01/2023 00:07

bythere · 26/01/2023 19:46

What do you mean by "mixed changing", though? Same sex except for young children but just different ages? Certainly not adults together, I would believe. If it's only very young children of the opposite sex that's one thing.

My local pool has one big changing area for everyone....there are open showers and cubicles with locks to actually change in you wouldn't shower naked but people let kids run around naked.

supersonicginandtonic · 29/01/2023 08:13

@WendyAndClyde I think the person who doesn't understand safeguarding is you my love. Risk assessment is that these children are with their parents which is the protective factor.
Parents who choose not to let their children shower naked are right as it's their child but the ones who choose to let them shower naked are right too.
The parents have decided that it's ok for them, and unless there are any other risk fact it's where the child is not being cared for correctly then that's the end of the issue.
You need to focus your time in the children who really need protection in this country as your energy would be much better focused there.

WendyAndClyde · 29/01/2023 12:12

Risk assessment is that these children are with their parents which is the protective factor.

Photos uploaded to the internet of naked children aren't a consideration to you in your assessment of risk then? Images that stay there for ever? And get passed around? The dignity and privacy of children isn't a consideration for you either? No? It doesn't warrant consideration for you? When they rely on you as the adult to keep them safe because they cannot do it themselves?
What an utterly bizarre approach. Particularly for someone who says they are a safeguarding professional.

I'd definitely go and buy yourself a book and try to understand the principles of risk assesment. Before you end up in court for failure of duty in your safeguarding role. Because if you can't understand basic safeguards in your parenting role, there's not a chance you'll understand it in your work role.

I'll leave you to it now. The library is free btw. And I'm sure your place of work probably has guidance you could read too. Maybe it will help you to start looking at the bigger picture in your assessment of risk.

gettingalifttothestation · 29/01/2023 13:55

WendyAndClyde · 29/01/2023 12:12

Risk assessment is that these children are with their parents which is the protective factor.

Photos uploaded to the internet of naked children aren't a consideration to you in your assessment of risk then? Images that stay there for ever? And get passed around? The dignity and privacy of children isn't a consideration for you either? No? It doesn't warrant consideration for you? When they rely on you as the adult to keep them safe because they cannot do it themselves?
What an utterly bizarre approach. Particularly for someone who says they are a safeguarding professional.

I'd definitely go and buy yourself a book and try to understand the principles of risk assesment. Before you end up in court for failure of duty in your safeguarding role. Because if you can't understand basic safeguards in your parenting role, there's not a chance you'll understand it in your work role.

I'll leave you to it now. The library is free btw. And I'm sure your place of work probably has guidance you could read too. Maybe it will help you to start looking at the bigger picture in your assessment of risk.

This is so right. Sums it up in a nutshell. Protect your children people don't give perverts a chance to prey on your kids

supersonicginandtonic · 29/01/2023 19:15

@WendyAndClyde ODFOD! You know exactly what I'm saying. I chose for my children not to be naked in changing rooms but both you and I know that parents who chose to aren't doing anything wrong. It wouldn't go anywhere if it was reported to childrens and you know that. You're just being a tw*t!
It's parental preference there's nothing you or I can do about it and you know that more than anybody.

WendyAndClyde · 29/01/2023 21:05

Name calling and telling people to fuck off because they don't agree with you doesn't strengthen your position.

Just so you know.

Stationsofthecross · 29/01/2023 21:08

Urgh you’re sexualising children here - they are just showering, no one is showing their private’s off to anyone. 😵‍💫😱

WendyAndClyde · 29/01/2023 21:11

I'm not sexualising children. But there are adults who do. Useful to be aware of that.

takealettermsjones · 29/01/2023 21:24

WendyAndClyde · 29/01/2023 21:05

Name calling and telling people to fuck off because they don't agree with you doesn't strengthen your position.

Just so you know.

Says the one who assumes anyone who disagrees with her is lying about having any experience 😂

WendyAndClyde · 29/01/2023 21:44

takealettermsjones · 29/01/2023 21:24

Says the one who assumes anyone who disagrees with her is lying about having any experience 😂

Show quote history

Normally when someone has some experience in a field, they are able to demonstrate that. People can identify as whatever they want. Their words betray them though.

takealettermsjones · 29/01/2023 22:03

WendyAndClyde · 29/01/2023 21:44

Normally when someone has some experience in a field, they are able to demonstrate that. People can identify as whatever they want. Their words betray them though.

Show quote history

I don't know how you get on in life believing that everyone who "works in safeguarding" must agree with you or they're lying, but that's your lookout.

Ever disagreed with a colleague about a case?

olympicsrock · 30/01/2023 00:53

You are pearl clutching. When mine were little I lived the fact that they would joyfully paddle naked.

I have always been very relaxed about nudity at home and like the fact that my kids see normal healthy bodies at home . The PANTS model has taken away my 7 year olds relaxed attitude which in some ways is a shame.