Naked children in mixed changing rooms-am I pearl clutching?

[AutisticLegoLover]

Ds is 8 and goes to swimming lessons at a local pool. It's mixed changing. Just lately there's always been children aged around 5 showering naked after their swim. It's an open shower area with no cubicles. So when you walk in they are there in your line of vision. The changing room is full of all ages from babies to the elderly. Ds commented today that he doesn't want to see naked people. Surely it's inappropriate to be showering your dc naked in a mixed setting? Or am I clutching?

My 5yo did a pants lesson in Y1 a couple of weeks ago.

The 'privates are private' bit did throw him slightly; I am in favour of all the other messaging but I do think that part is a bit narrow.

My DH is Scandi, grew up with lots of body confidence, inter-generational naked saunas, and still to this day can't sleep unless he's naked. We have tried to raise our DSs with some of that relaxed attitude to nakedness, because I want them to like and appreciate their bodies and not be ashamed of them.

I'm not trying to start a naturist movement or anything, but in the context of showering chlorine off our bodies after swimming I don't see any harm in naked kids, at all.

Why such an aggressive response?

Yep, this is the danger!

When did you become the shower police? Who told you what "the showers" (which showers?) are for? Why didn't I get the memo?

You're not "clutching". You're pearl clutching.

I wouldn't allow my children to shower naked in mixed changing rooms. Not because of other children or because my pearls are clutched, but because there are a staggering number of pedophiles in the world.

The changing rooms at my local swimming pool have only one cubicle. Therefore it’s necessary to change in view of each other. All ages, both sexes in terms of children. Personally, I’d rather cubicles, but it is what it is, and I am not going to stop going. We should be grateful while this arrangement remains .. at another pool not far away, there is apparently one changing room for both sexes, and with only a few cubicles. Now that is revolting.

It's not appropriate op, no. Not in a mixed sex setting.

At last. Thank you. Exactly this.

I can’t see the problem with infants and young children being naked around other infants and young children with their families in attendance. If adults were naked too it would be a different ballgame.

Educating your kids to protect their boundaries and detect abuse is fine but other young children are not going to abuse them in front of their own parents.

I think these sorts of attitudes are partly why British people are so fucked up about nudity.

Op said The changing room is full of all ages from babies to the elderly

YANBU op, my DC has done PANTS recently in school and recently started swimming lessons, all of the children bar 1 ask their parents to bring them to a cubical to get changed, and this is a single sex girls changing room.

My DS is 11, I would not allow him to go solo into the men's to shower/get changed tbh. We go into a family cubicle and now he's older, I get changed first while he waits outside, then we swap over.

But this is because I am a victim of CSA. So I am a little over cautious of other adults and children.

OP if your 8 year old is conscious of naked bodies then he needs to change in the mens changing room.

Preschoolers and infant age children aren't generally conscious of bodies in the same way children are from junior age on wards are.

This is why lots of gyms, swimming pools etc set maximum ages for children to change in opposite sex changing rooms.

Good lord.

@thirdtimeluckyorwhat I also work in safeguarding and what on earth are you on about 🙄

Myself, my sister and her friend were exposed to pornography while a man mastrubated in full view of us in a mixed sex changing room as young preteens. We were never naked.
I take my young daughter to the same pool, she showers in her costume but I will quickly strip her out of her costume and wrap her up in a towel before we leave the showers. Sometimes she might be briefly in view of the opposite sex while naked.
Not all men (or women) are abusers and a flimsy swimming costume will not protect you if someone has malicious intent.

Goodness Mumsnet is mad sometimes.next wel be back to saying breastfeeding in public should be banned on case an 8 year old sees a booby.

You might want to have a word with most of the population of Europe then! There's nude beaches all over France and Spain, Finland has mixed saunas absolutely everywhere. There is a difference between nudity and sexuality.

I'm on about adults that prey on young children for sexual gratification are you really that dim

In Iceland you have to have a naked shower and be sure to thoroughly wash all the bits illustrated on a poster before you get into the pool - single sex shower rooms. Yes, Scandinavians do have the right idea.

@thirdtimeluckyorwhat

Im interested in which part of safeguarding you work in? I worked in child protection with police for 8 years and don’t find your views particularly representative. How do you think they manage in other countries ( where mixed changing occurs). Do you imagine they’re a hotbed of paedophilia?

I mean I personally wouldn’t do it just because you never know if there’s a weirdo around but I wouldn’t be bothered by other parents’ kids being naked.

@thirdtimeluckyorwhat I'm also interested in what "I work in safeguarding" means, because anyone who works in a service that might encounter children has to be involved in safeguarding to some extent. So you could be a social worker, librarian, yoga teacher...

I think it's normal for very little children to be naked in certain places as mentioned above, e.g. pools, beaches, etc. I have let my toddler run around naked on the beach for a short time (discomfort from wet sand, etc). Imo it's ridiculous to say that any parent who allows this is neglectful. I am very far from neglectful when it comes to my child.

I understand though that "very little children" is subjective, and to me, five is on the very edge.

I personally would never let my 5 year old be naked around others that they don’t know.

I assume there are both male and female adults around which makes it even more concerning.

Most people also have a phone, even children these days and it wouldn’t take much to purposely or accidentally take a photo either.

Is there more sexual abuse in countries where this is normal? (Eg Germany/Scandinavia)