Naked children in mixed changing rooms-am I pearl clutching?

[AutisticLegoLover]

Ds is 8 and goes to swimming lessons at a local pool. It's mixed changing. Just lately there's always been children aged around 5 showering naked after their swim. It's an open shower area with no cubicles. So when you walk in they are there in your line of vision. The changing room is full of all ages from babies to the elderly. Ds commented today that he doesn't want to see naked people. Surely it's inappropriate to be showering your dc naked in a mixed setting? Or am I clutching?

@WendyAndClyde
showering children naked in front of random members of the opposite sex is entirely inappropriate. It would demonstrate that the parent isn't able to assess risk properly and appropriately themselves

You are equating "I wouldn't do this, based on what I've seen in my job" with "this is inherently wrong and anyone who does it is wrong".

And you don't understand safeguarding either and the legal responsibilities that go with this.

That's ok. That's why we have people in roles such as social work.

You don't get a free pass to do as you want as a parent.

I agree with you op. I would never do this with my children. Some places eg Center Parcs do not allow it.

Your child feels uncomfortable because we raise our children not to show certain parts of our body.
I'm really shocked at these responses.

Me and my DD walk round the house naked all the time it's normal/natural and she's comfortable. She also would be a little freaked by this and I personally wouldn't be ok with my daughter naked jnfront of lots of other kids and parents.

Have you never been on holiday to continental Europe? Naked kids on the beach are common, no big deal. Germany it's common to see naked people of all ages.

Oh, we're back to assuming anyone who disagrees with us is uninformed. Yawn.

I'm not spelling out my job and career history to you, but suffice to say, again, you're incorrect.

I perfectly understand all my legal and moral responsibilities both as a parent and in my job.

You don't get a free pass to tell parents who simply make a different choice from you that they are neglectful, unable to risk assess, etc etc.

YANBU Society is a cesspit. You don't know how many pervs are about, both know to you and not known to you.

@takealettermsjones
I agree with@WendyAndClyde, keep your children's privacy both at home and public places like swimming pool changing areas. Yes, children are most likely to be abused by someone known to them, but paedophiles do like to frequent/try and find work where children tend to be. Cover your children up. I'm not saying drape them head to toe in clothing but keep their cosies on in the communal shower.
Twenty years in Children's social work.

It's up to their parents if they allow their child to shower naked. But my child wouldn't be allowed to shower naked in public. Way too many pedos around

@gogohmm I wouldn't say that is necessarily a good thing eh? Germany also have a horrendous sex industry held up by trafficking.

I care a lot about my children's privacy. There are not many settings in which I would allow them to be naked, but a very small number of situations, yes. I'm not outlining the ins and outs of how I make that decision, but please be assured that I do not take my children's safety lightly.

There are multiple people on this thread, including me, who "work in safeguarding" (starting to hate that as a phrase to be honest) and/or have first hand experience of abusive situations. The fact that many people with experience in this area are disagreeing on this particular topic shows that it is not a clear black and white situation.

Risk assessment is not about removing any situation where there could be harm. It's about mitigation and balance. I understand the temptation to see harm everywhere in this job, I really do. But that can be a sign of vicarious trauma, and can be harmful in itself.

Regardless, the point I made to Wendy and I make again now, is that it's possible for reasonable people to disagree on something without resorting to insults, calling each other liars, assuming poor parenting, etc.

You're not being a Pearl clutcher OP and I'm sorry you're being gaslighted on here and made out like you are. I work in safeguarding and no child should be naked in a public place. There's no knowing what others are doing while in this environment- a random photo being taken, etc. the mind boggles at the people thinking this is normal.

Agreed.

At that age as son as the air hit his wet trunks he'd have them off, would be lucky if he made it as far as a changing room tbh he was usually starting to wrestle them off poolside I imagine he's not the only small child who would feel the same and it's easier to take it off.

@takealettermsjones and I don't make judgements on people's parenting skills based on whether they chose a different approach in pool changing rooms. I am just saying my own personal view, developed from my professional experiences. I see risk in a lot of situations that before I entered the profession , I was not aware of . My children are grown up now, so this issue doesn't affect them anymore. However, as the mum of an older teen daughter , I think the world has got more dangerous for women.and children in particular. I don't have the answer to that tbh - men should tackle why we have so many violent, predatory males???

Exactly this. (Also a social worker in child protection).

As social workers you are supposed to be non judgemental until you get all the facts in a case. I get the feeling some on this thread have already made a biased decision prior to their investigations. You kinds of people are the ones who give social workers bad names and the reasons people are scared to open up and ask for help. You should know full well that this is not illegal and just because you think it's wrong, that's just your opinion.
You need to step back and remember everybody parents differently and you have to take this into account, the same as you world their cultures, backgrounds etc.
You thinking this is wrong for your children is fine, that's your choice but please don't make that decision for other parents.
And if you are social workers you know, there's far worse scenarios you need to focus your time and energy on due to how overworked and overloaded you all are right now.

I just think it's odd it's the kid who complained, mine wouldn't have batted an eyelid

And if you are social workers you know, there's far worse scenarios you need to focus your time and energy on due to how overworked and overloaded you all are right now.

Yes we prioritise. Not ignore.

Flippin eck. Get a grip. How can they shower without being naked? Try it fully dressed and I guarantee its much messier. 🙄

I despair.

Yes. You are clutching. If your son has an issue find another pool where the changing rooms fulfill his requirements.

Not in the UK. Oooh matron...the mindset is very juvenile.

I despair at your ignorance to be honest i hope you arnt a parent as you clearly have no clue around keeping children safe as to all of saying other European countries are far more relaxed about kiddies running naked everywhere they are a child abusers haven it's rife you just don't want to realise it

I do not have enough eyes to roll at this...

Wise up