Naked children in mixed changing rooms-am I pearl clutching?

[AutisticLegoLover]

Ds is 8 and goes to swimming lessons at a local pool. It's mixed changing. Just lately there's always been children aged around 5 showering naked after their swim. It's an open shower area with no cubicles. So when you walk in they are there in your line of vision. The changing room is full of all ages from babies to the elderly. Ds commented today that he doesn't want to see naked people. Surely it's inappropriate to be showering your dc naked in a mixed setting? Or am I clutching?

I'm baffled by a lot of this.

First: mixed sex changing rooms and showers. It's years since I took my kids to lessons and the swimming for fun, but I still swim regularly at various pools and I cannot think of any pool where I have ever seen these? Open changing for men and women yes, completely mixed, no. The closest I can think of is open showers poolside, where adults would always stay clothed but kids might slip out of their bathers?

Second: nudity (of anyone, at any age) really should not be such a big deal in this sort of situation. People are simply getting showered and changed.

Third: and straying off topic, people who think nudity in their home around their family is unacceptable. Just weird.

@WendyAndClyde and @thirdtimeluckyorwhat I can inform you that yes we are good at our jobs. We can also tell you that a crowded swimming pool ,where children are present with their parents is an extremely low risk place for a paedophile to get his kicks or a child be abused.
The majority of children are abused by children they know for a start and they're unfortunately, in this evil and nasty world, it is much easier for a pedophile to access this kind of thing online. 😔

Nah, I live in the Netherlands and have gone to sauna's such as those. People don't wear swimming costumes but where they are mixed sex they do wear towels at least walking around. People are more relaxed than in the UK but people don't amble about with their bits on full display either. Also, you don't tend to get children in those places anyway.

Talk about a drip feed! From your initial description it seemed that there was one large changing room with men, women and children all getting changed in sight of each other!

I wouldn't get too exercised about a few naked young kids in a swimming pool changing area. That said, ours has signs up saying no nakedness and we stick with that even with our young kids, for the avoidance of any confusion.

Don't be so snarky. Saunas tend not to have children attending so it's a completely different situation than changing for swimming lessons. I am from the Netherlands, and swimming pool changing areas are exactly the same as here.

Also, there is something to be said for stricter safeguarding rules. Have you heard about the Amsterdam sex abuse case? When I became a teacher in the UK I had to provide DBS equivalents from all the countries I'd lived in going back five years. Call that OTT, but if that had been the case for the main perpetrator in this abuse case, he would never have been employed in a childcare setting. And fwiw, there are virtually no men employed in childcare in the Netherlands now, so talk about seeing risk everywhere!

I don’t think you are Pearl clutching at all. Your 8. Year old is saying he feels uncomfortable and you do to. I don’t like the way women and children’s feelings are dismissed so readily where boundaries and safeguarding are concerned.
don’t let others tell you how to feel and what your boundaries are. Don’t let others disrespect your feelings and boundaries.
I have stopped taking my daughters to the local pool because there were single sex changing rooms but two sexual assaults on children that were reported in the local news so probably more than that. The place was sadly probably a magnet for peados so it was a no from me.

YANBU at all.

This is mumsnet so take comments with a pinch of salt

Of course they won't be physically abused with a parent present but why give them something to look at and get their kicks from when its completely avoidable ? I find the idea of anyone looking at my child naked in a sexual way horrifying. If you work In the jobs you say I really struggle to believe you with the comments you are making. Where I work children are not allowed to shower naked and that is not even open to the public it's very basic respecting of personal privacy for the children

The child may not be physically abused but why make it easy for an abuser to take inappropriate images, cameras can be absolutely tiny and if you're not a nonce yourself you would never know these images are on the internet.

Personally, I wouldn't take the risk.
YANBU

I think you need to steady on there. A child with its mum in the shower can’t come to any harm can it?

In a lot of European (ie close to home) cultures our fear of being/seeing people naked would be very odd.

I'd say up to the age of around 5/6.

Wouldn't want a nine year old lad showering next to me tbh

I don’t understand why ppl are so naive? In all probability no harm will come… but what if some weirdo staff member puts a camera somewhere pointing at the showers? What if the police came knocking to tell you a video of your child was discovered on the internet. All because you didn’t shower them in their costumes?

of course 99.9999% time it wouldn’t happen, until it does.

Someone taking some sense ! Exactly this. So many people are missing the point here. It's not about Pearl clutching or being embarrassed about nudity or anything else. It's about child protection. No child should be naked in public it's quite worrying the amount of parents on here that think that is is ok !!!

I work in safeguarding 😉

@KitBumbleB but that's your personal opinion and you are absolutely entitled to keep your child covered up if that is how you feel comfortable. We all parent differently and all access risks differently, that's life.
Being naked in a shower is not illegal so those parents of those children are doing nothing wrong.

And you sound like someone who does work in safeguarding.

Unlike some others here who simply identify as working in safeguarding but clearly don't

@WendyAndClyde please search my previous posts you will see I'm not making my career up.
Today I've spent the day dealing with a child who's mum has been injecting them with heroin and at another house where parents barter the crap out of each other, whilst pissed up in front of their children. This is a normal day at the office for me. So no, naked children in a shower isn't the highest thing on my priority list

Of course it’s a safe guarding issue. Some people are so naive. It’s worrying they have children.

This isn't part of your case load. It's a scenario the op has discussed. And just because you wouldn't prioritise highly against immediate risk on your case load doesn't mean it's not a safeguarding issue. It doesn't mean a social worker needs to intervene. It does mean that the centre needs to deal with this issue appropriately in line with safeguarding.

Hope this helps.

@WendyAndClyde it means it's up to the parents to access the risk and decide themselves.
It's the same as letting your kids be naked in the paddling pool in the summer. Sone parents would, some wouldn't. The majority of gardens in the UK are overlooked so there is a risk factor. It's about minimising the risk, not necessarily taking it away. A safeguarding concern is where somebody is at risk of being abused, when they're with their parents, this risk is minimal.
I don't shower my children after swimming as we come straight home for a bath as I need to apply creams etc but I wouldn't think badly of a mum or dad who chose too. Its their personal choice.
We cannot, unfortunately; take away risk of children being harmed. Nobody would ever send their child to childcare or school 🏫 f we did.

We cannot, unfortunately; take away risk of children being harmed. Nobody would ever send their child to childcare or school 🏫 f we did.

We minimise risk where we can. And showering children naked in front of random members of the opposite sex is entirely inappropriate. It would demonstrate that the parent isn't able to assess risk properly and appropriately themselves. It would also demonstrate the centre hasn't taken its own safeguarding responsibilites seriously. I would say, in your 'safeguarding role' you have become rather blase about it.
You should reflect on that.

@WendyAndClyde the centre has done nothing wrong though, people have always showered naked. What you're saying is over the top. Its not for you to say if it's right or wrong. We live in a democracy where we are allowed to make choices so if a parent deems it ok then that's fine as it's their choice. We can't police children being naked when they're with their parents, what next? The beach? Their own garden? A splash park?
In an ideal world there would be showers cubicles but There isn't.
The OP is also a safeguarding risk if you want to nit pick. He's embarrassed by the human body, so if he was ever, heaven forbid, abused; he'd be less likely to disclose it to anybody as it's a taboo subject to him.

@WendyAndClyde and stop being a sarcastic 'tw*t' about my job role. You have no idea. When your partner works with high risk sex offenders day in and day out and I do the job I do, you become quite aware of what's a major risk and what isn't.

Oh behave.

Parents can make choices. Unwise choices and poor risk assessment has consequences.

Organisations hosting children also have safeguarding responsibilites.

Surely, in your role, you understand that?

I don't think you do though.

I wouldn’t let my child be naked in public. You don’t know who or where the paedos are. I give my child the same level of dignity as I give myself - if I wouldn’t be naked then my child isn’t either.