Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

I find your 'who doesn't' comment very rude.
I have a graduate daughter on 6 types of meds due to clinically diagnosed MH problems. It'll take more than 'getting her act together'
Seems to me that you are very dismissive of people's lives, and also don't have a clue how to research basics.
Rude.

Lots of vacancies for English teachers if all else fails.

You can't be an English teacher without being qualified with a PGCE- not in state schools.

Ironic calling OP rude when you have taken personal umbridge to an innocuous comment and tried to make out like they're a bad person for saying it.

I don’t think the buck stops with you OP I think the expectation is that a new graduate gets a job (any job!) till they can get one in their chosen field. I’d recommend she looking into banking/call centre type work, it’s not much fun but they’re always hiring and it’s the type of job you aren’t expected to stay at for a long time so she could job hunt alongside it quite easily.

In my day it was normal to get any old job to tide you over while you applied for jobs you wanted longer term. I spent a year temping, earning what was pretty much NMW at the time. This aspect isn't new for today's young people, I don't think?

She’s only been unemployed 3 months and that was agreed that she should concentrate on applications in those months and is now looking to get a job

We lived rurally (although commutable to London) when Dh was unemployed.

It took Dh a year of applying for a job in London (there was no work around where we lived) until someone told him that they would take one look at his address and bin his application.

Friend let him use his London address and Dh got interviews for every job he applied for.
I think companies don’t want the hassle of relocating someone or having someone who doesn’t live in the area starting out in new accommodation and the settling in period at the same time as they are supposed to be concentrating on work.

Echoing others re: massively oversubscribed field, but in case useful here's Sian Meades-Williams Freelance Writing Jobs which is a weekly newsletter containing ad hoc jobs for freelance writers, many are remote
https://www.sianmeadeswilliams.com/freelance-writing-jobs

If your daughter lacks an "I've done some writing" thing on her CV then I'd recommend she starts a 'thing' on the web (blog, tiktok, youtube, any kind of channel) so that she can create a bit of content, build it up (practising her craft) and can point to it as a portfolio. Almost all of these things are free, other than time.

If she's good at art she might be able to find dribs and drabs of work on things like Fiverr from people looking for logo design and that sort of thing. I don't know much about it (and it always seems a bit iffy to me so caution advised!).

Good luck to her :)
Jo

I’m uncomfortable with this, you ask when do your parental responsibilities stop. The answer is never, you are always a parent. You don’t become childless again when they turn 18. You say you can afford it. How much extra is she costing your that you consider it hefty? It’s contradictory.

I did mean as a longer term path . The Ops daughter is struggling to find work in her chosen field. Not like she hasn’t got time to do aPGSE either. MFL is high demand also.

If she wants to work in publishing she needs experience before she'll get an interview - get her to start looking for internships if she doesn't already have a relevant hobby. Entry-level jobs get literally hundreds of applications, the candidate's CV needs something to put them above everyone else - we can't interview everyone with an English degree who applies.

Internships should be paid nowadays, they're a lot more legitimate than back in my day but she might need to apply for areas she's not so keen on and get in the back door - editorial is impossibly popular. Publishing was competitive 20 years ago, it's ridiculous now (and very poorly paid... get her thinking about other options!)

This happened to me. I had no financial support to fall back on, nowhere to go. 2011. Lived in a city and took whatever I could. Had 3 jobs at one point and worked 7 days a week. Lived in a house share with a dodgy landlord (under £200 a month all in I think).

Best job I had was waitressing at a very successful restaurant, tips were cash in hand and I remember making £250 in cash one week. Kept it all under my mattress until I had enough for a deposit for a slightly nicer place. Kept doing this until I was eventually able to complete enough unpaid work experience for the career I have now.

I worked with lots of other young adults in the same position and I’m sure there are even more of them now. In hindsight I was very vulnerable. Some directors of a few local strip clubs (who were regulars at a bar I worked at) did take a shine to me at one point- no judgement on people who choose that livelihood but I do think they probably picked up on that… but I made it and it was certainly interesting!

Don’t you have to apply for anything and everything and evidence it on your job record to claim universal credit?

I don’t think you can claim and only apply for jobs you fancy or feel are worthy in your preferred field.

At least my DB with learning disabilities was put through the wringer by the DWP because he couldn’t travel 30 miles to do a cleaning job on minimum wage starting at 5AM and similar.

I also have a 2:1 in a humanities subject from a RG university. I got a full time, completely unrelated, low paying job the second I finished my last piece of uni work because as a capable adult (that I’m sure you are too) I am employable. It wasn’t my chosen field and I didn’t stay there long but not getting my dream job right out of uni doesn’t = homeless! There’s a wide spectrum between the two

No one will tell you what you can apply for, you have to find out for yourself, and if you are not savvy to the benefits system you lose out. If you live on benefits all your life and never work you know all the loopholes and claim anything and everything and get it. This is why it’s all going over to UC to simplify it. That’s why people don’t want to swap over and are being made to now. Hasn’t got enough NI contributions…ffs, some people never make a NI contribution in their lives and get any benefit going!

Also eight weeks to get a job is no time. Especially as it covered December. She’s been given about 5 weeks in reality,

as said, id understand if you were so skint you couldn’t afford to pay to feed her, but to be able to afford it but just not wish to, is a bit much for me.

You are correct. People on here seem to be missing the point. No one cares if she wants to hold out for her preferred job, it's just that OP wanted the rest of us to keep her while she does it.

In which case she must have significant savings.

Over £16,000 you’re not entitled to claim UC.

Over £6000 in savings, UC deduct £4.35 for every £250.

If she’s only entitled to pence, that indicates she’s got £10,000+ in savings.

Exactly. Some people don’t have the luxury of time. I remember my friends mum was horrified I was having to take any job straight out of Uni and was questioning my parents, asking them why they were letting me do this- like it was a choice!

If she didn't have you she would have had to take any job to pay the bills for now like a lot of us have had to.

We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.

This jumped out at me, too. because if I was interviewing her for a dream job, I'd be more impressed to hear she had been working (and the additional experience that brings) than claiming benefits. Does she have time to work and also research and apply for jobs?

She's probably in that post-university period of confusion where she is trying to cling on to the lies she's been told over the past decade and a half that working hard at school and going to university means she should have good employment prospects. A lot of students go through this period as reality sets in. Some take longer than others - I basically sat on my arse for just shy of two years before the penny dropped - but most ex-students who aren't lucky enough to have a parent who can place them in a graduate job experience it to a degree.

In her own time she will learn how the world works and begin to understand that hard work does not automatically bring success. Success requires hard work (usually) but the reverse is not true - some of the hardest workers are the most poorly paid and do some of the most unpleasant jobs.

Don't worry too much about having a gap in her CV if it's only a few months or couple of years. Once she gets a job she'll quickly demonstrate whether she's capable, reliable etc and her CV will be fine for future employers. Employers generally place much more weight on the recent past so a gap ten years ago followed by continuous employment won't ring the alarm bells.

I'm in a similar position in that my DD graduated last year and has been back home since May trying to get a job in her degree field, but in the meantime she's worked on a farm, done that for years in fact. That gives her enough money for travel and she brings home all our fruit and veg from the farm. We live in a rural area so I get up and drive her to and from the job, she wouldn't be able to work otherwise. Our other DD19 has a severe mental illness and is housebound, she claims PIP and gives me £100 a month. We are struggling financially (real struggling not the "oh can't afford a holiday" MN type struggling) but these are my kids and I (and their Dad) are completely delighted to help them in every way possible.

So maybe I'm not in a similar position to you at all OP, as I only want my DDs to leave when they are ready willing and able, and certainly not watching the clock on them to bring in some cash at 22. Even if they both had jobs (or in DD21's case a better job) I wouldn't be insisting they cough up more than a token amount to help out. Are you genuinely so hard up yourself that you need more cash? And please don't reply "well everything is soooo expensive!" - what price the support you give to your kids? Help her to get a job, do more research, be proactive!

I graduated from one of the golden triangle unis in the heart of Central London, landed student internships with cool media type firms (through my uni), and ultimately still couldn't land an entry-level publishing/copywriting job after graduating.

It's a highly competitive and prestigious sector, and it's generally those with lots of connections or lots of schmoozing/networking ability who land these jobs.

A practical suggestion would be for her to take up a local job to pay the bills, or even a job in London in a less glamorous industry (which might allow her to physically network at industry open days and so on) – and then try to land her dream job in the meantime. She should also look into remote or freelancing options, whether full time or on the side. These will help her build up her portfolio which is crucial for job applications in this sector.

OP can she be doing any relevant online training? I think this is as important if not more than a minimum job that nearly anyone can do.