Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

I graduated into an ongoing recession and worked in a call centre for minimum wage for a year (also with a language degree).

It was shift work so gave me time to also job hunt for something more relevant.

Bars/restaurants are crying out for staff everywhere, even rurally. Having been involved in a lot of grad recruitment over the years and currently, I would definitely look for grads with any work experience, even if not linked to their degree at all. It just shows that level of proactiveness.

Sounds like she needs a job at the local supermarket until she finds another job.

Most students and graduates work in less skilled jobs while they apply. Unless she's spending 10 hours a day applying for roles, she'll have plenty of time to work and apply.

No need for benefits and public funds.

A relative of mine has been looking for their dream job for over a year. They are not even getting to the interview stage due to gap in cv and lack of basic work experience.
They are now going to try getting experience in a charity shop environment but we keep saying you need to get an actual job… anything to show you are hardworking and can hold down a job.

She needs to apply for Universal Credit. It doesn't matter what her qualifications are.

Get her to do care work. 12 hour shifts - so even full time only takes up 3 days a week. Plenty of time to apply for graduate jobs. If she goes somewhere that does sleep ins at a decent rate she can earn a good salary (I know people earning 40k - and with 4 days off a week).

There is a middle ground too. A couple of bar shifts a week would pay more than income based JSA/UC for an under 25 but also leave plenty of time to work on finding something better paid and more permanent.

Worked in publishing for many years.

if she’s keen on that industry, my advice would be to apply for admin jobs. Once she is in, she’ll start getting to know people and can start moving departments and climbing up the ladder.

I worked in HR and can’t tell you the number of rejection letters I sent to Oxford graduates, while admins would end up being editorial assistants.

what on earth are they doing to rack up that@OriginalUsername2

Tumble drying everything? Hair drying 6 x a day? Washing clothes all day long?

Whatever it is, you surely could change their habits?

I’m confused why you’d want her to apply for benefits over getting a job.. any job.. to pay her own way?

If you want her to be treated like an independent adult and not a dependent on her parents then she needs to get a job like a real adult would have to.

I guess this is why only relatively privileged kids get a shot at their dream job in London. Most have to give up because they can’t get to the interviews etc. Whereas wealthy kids whose parents have a base near London can come home for a year after uni, do internships and work experience etc and then land their dream job.

She needs to apply for any job before she goes to universal credit. More than hospitality. There was a call out from our local hospital the other day looking for kitchen staff with immediate starts. There are jobs around at the moment.

But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.

This is where care leavers really struggle - they don't have anyone to fall back on and when they leave the system at 18 minimum wage is £6.83

thank goodness your dd has you to fall back on

The buck stops with you because you are choosing to fund her. Surely she knew it would be hard to get a well paying career with an English literature degree. She needs to suck it up and find a job, any job. Why should the state fund her life choices? I'm all for benefits as we have family members who are disabled and the help from the government is appalling. But a healthy 22 yeard old with a degree? She's either lazy or naive or a bit of both.

TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.

I received benefits when I was her age. I'm not criticising her for doing that. But how does someone giving their parents £20 a week out of money given by the state, so which hasn't been earned, give anyone self-worth? It's their right and nothing to be ashamed of....but self-worth? Earning your own money and paying your way gives you self-esteem and self-worth.

I agree with this.

Even aside from anything else, having a job (any job) demonstrates to employers that you have a work ethic and are prepared to be proactive etc. Someone who is literally doing nothing for months after uni isn't going to look that good to recruiters.

Yep, 100% correct.

It's not a 'torrid time' fgs. Surrey is not at war with any of the surrounding counties. We're not even in recession.

You need to change the narrative around this OP.

It's not about earning money for your household it's about building up work experience.

It looks as if most posters are saying the same thing.

My DCs learned great people skills/ soft skills working in cafes and supermarkets, and even charity shops, while looking for their dream jobs. It also made them appreciate that they had the qualifications to get a better job and look harder!

CVs need to show people's skill sets. Questions she may be asked at the very first stage of an online interview will be along the lines of 'where did you show leadership or teamwork', 'tell us about your strengths'. 'when did you have experience of X in your role'.

She won't get those sitting around on benefits.

I've been crunching numbers and can't get to a level of savings that would give tariff income close to the total entitlement of £265.31, and not exceed the upper capital limit of £16k at which entitlement stops entirely.

The first £6k is disregarded, so at £15,999, the assessable capital is £9,999. That gives 44 x £250 or part thereof, multiplied by £4.35 gives tariff income of £174.

Entitlement of £265.31 - £174 tariff income, so there would still be £91.31 of UC payable.

(Disclaimer: I am very tired and have been doing difficult sums most of the day, so I may have gone completely number-blind and be talking bollocks.)

The sooner she starts a claim the better, OP, because she could be "sanctioned", ie have payments stopped for a fixed period, because she gave up her previous job voluntarily.

But in answer to the question about what do people in her position do if they don't have family support, the answer is that they struggle. They have to go onto UC and move into cheap shared housing, because UC won't pay the rent on a self-contained place for single people until they reach the age of 35, unless they're unwell enough to qualify for PIP. Unless they're very lucky, they'll have to use part of the £265.31 they get each month to top up their rent, because the max UC will pay rarely covers market rents.

I think for people in your DD's position, the answer is to take a job, any job, because it's always easier to get a job once you can show you're employable. Look at the public and voluntary sector, where someone bright with a half-decent degree can get an entry level job and progress quite quickly if they show ability.

A colleague's son was in a similar position a couple of years ago, and after a series of pretty shit jobs in retail and hospitality, he did TEFL training. He's teaching English to people from abroad now, and loves it.

So - you want her to be independent but you are (and have been for a long while it sounds like) facilitating her to be dependent, and now you're wondering why the state aren't throwing money at her to help? When did she start applying for jobs?

Graduating and the end of her uni rental tenancy wouldn't have come as a surprise by any stretch of the imagination so she should have started way applying for jobs way before those ended. And if she had a job whilst at Uni, why on earth did she quit (and why didn't you encourage her not too)? It's far, far easier to find employment when you're in employment.

I was offered the choice of nursing by someone who should know me.

I hate ill people. They annoy me.

Not everyone can do compassion and caring.

Well you can't complain that she is not entitled to it and then, when you find out she is, switch your complaint to being about how awful it is that she has to apply at all 🙄

She is entitled to UC. Obviously she has to apply if she wants it. There's no shame in it, many people need it for a short period whilst job hunting. That's why it's there.

. Remember that employers don’t like CV gaps.
Rubbish, I was unemployed for 24 years until I decided to get a job.
I downloaded indeed and applied for 2 jobs and first one I applied for was Sainsbury's who emailed me with an interview slot within the hour and I got the job.
The second was weatherspoons who also emailed me an interview slot within the hour so after one morning applying for two jobs I got both and had 2 to choose from. (I chose Sainsbury's)
Nobody asked why I hadn't worked since leaving school 24 years ago.

You were lucky to be offered a job without even trying. If you needed it, you'd have taken it.