Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

@drivinmecrazy I apologise for missing your post earlier today about health ( the strokes you mention - yours or maybe you meant family members, like older parents or a partner, who you have to care for.)

I know you didn't want to give a lot of your personal info, but what you have said has set quite a few posters against you as the whole picture isn't clear.

I do agree you should not have posted this in AIBU. maybe the other way to have come at this was to ask for advice on how your DD could find the work she was looking for (and you have had a lot of advice on that.) I think everyone would have been more sympathetic if you had asked how you could help her with her career, and maybe have said that you'd not had much work experience yourself because of health issues. That would have been a whole different thread!

I hope she finds something soon but even if paid work eludes her for a little while longer, doing some volunteering looks good on a CV even if it's just shaking a can, or sorting out clothes in a charity shop. Maybe she needs to change her mindset a little so that she really focuses on what looks good on a CV rather than pursuing an 'interest' like photography which is a hobby but not necessarily going to further her career.

Anyway, good luck to you all.

This is some nasty thread

The OP’s dd will get a job shortly, whether it’s the dream one or a tide-over.

Really, as soon as she finds a job no one no one will give a rat’s arse if she spent four months or whatever “seeking employment”.

And, as I remarked upthread, much of the advice is utterly out of date. People practically suggesting OP’s dd joins the typing pool or goes to the mill gates to ask for loom work…

I really recommend her trying out Unibees:

www.unibeez.com

Great website aimed at graduates who are trying to start out in the world of work. My firm hired a recent graduate with limited experience for a short-term project using this service. We ended up offering her a permanent role.

www.prospects.ac.uk/graduate-jobs-results

She could try applying for Grad roles, if she’s interested in content, copywriting and publishing then she might do well in a general marketing role and finding a specialism later. Marketing roles tend to be less competitive and can be better paid depending on which route you take, it can be a real help if you’re starting out and want to move to a larger city. They are highly competitive, so it would be good to have some experience in a business of some sorts. They tend to start in September so it might be a bit tight to get in this year.

She should have a careers service at her former University who should available to support her. They can take a look at her CV, let her know about potential jobs, help her prep for interviews etc. I’d definitely be leaning on them for help!

I wish you all the luck in the world, I graduated 10 years ago… but I still remember the stress of it all!

@drivinmecrazy what a thread! I really hope your daughter finds some work in her field and maybe a local job to tide her over. My daughter is in uni year 2 at Bristol, it’s a great city! She found work in a coffee shop that I think is looking for extra staff, particularly when the uni lot go home. If it’s anything that may help later please let me know and I’ll let you know where your daughter may try. Take care x