Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

[Workawayxx]

I agree with those who say that publishing jobs are very oversubscribed. A contact has mentioned a lot of big publishing companies employ people who have done the Oxford Brookes masters or internships. Your DD could look at rights assistant jobs - the sales side of publishing (but its not too "sales-y" - more showing other publishers books). Her Spanish would be an asset and those roles may be a little less oversubscribed than more editorial type roles. A sidestep into a more editorial role might then be possible.

[TheMarzipanDildo]

Could she get a part time job in the meantime, that might help if her self worth is low? I appreciate that she might need some time off if she’s been working and doing uni at the same time and applications can be very time consuming, but if she’s only working a few days it shouldn’t be too bad?

[OpportunityKnockss]

My DC had a local minimum wage job for a year before going all out for his dream job. He really did try to apply for jobs whilst working but kept getting calls from agencies whilst at work. In the end it worked out for the best for him to purely concentrating on getting the right job and improving his prospects by doing some relevant online training.

[GreetingsToTheNewBrunette]

It’s been said many times throughout the thread.

[drivinmecrazy]

She is applying for hospitality work and isn't solely applying for work limited to publishing.
She has experience in hospitality so is applying locally for vacancies, she's worked since she was 15 years old in hospitality!
We effectively gave her a two month grace period (November/December) before she started applying for local work.

[ArseInTheDogBowl]

I don't think the buck stops with you OP, nor with the state!

She's 22! It shouldn't be hard for someone in her position to find a job, any job, at very short notice. It's not about the dream job right now, it's about getting any job and applying for better things whilst already working. She shouldn't need UC.

[NoSquirrels]

She is now applying for local jobs while doing a few online courses and building up her art portfolio and writing.

I’ve seen a lot of graduate entry level publishing applications.

Once she has a local job - any job! - she should focus on skills that are tangible and transferable.

E.g.

For marketing (publishing & copywriting) then SEO skills (do a course, then offer to help a charity or local business set up a blog) or social media skills (including analytics like Instagram/FBs free tools.)
Or focus in on admin skills, which all entry level jobs are.

What’s her art portfolio for? When you say ‘writing’ then what sort? (No one recruiting for a publishing entry level job is interested in anyone’s creative writing ambitions, but might be in their book review blog/Insta/TikTok or similar.)

If she’s only looking at editorial/writing type jobs she needs to switch to looking for entry jobs in international sales or rights or literary agencies where her language skills will be a key selling point.

[Allthegoodnamesarechosen]

@80s

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of
Don't know how it works with Brexit etc but perhaps she could consider applying for a job in Spain, if she's studied Spanish? Get something that looks like a useful language learning opportunity on her CV (EFL jobs are easy to find), polish up her spoken Spanish, and come back a year or two later that bit more mature and confident.

The unemployment rate in Spain is currently about 33%, one of the highest in the EU.

[LizzieSiddal]

She is quite capable of getting a job doing anything whilst her “ideal” job comes along. This is what my DD did when she left Uni, after 10 months of working at a charity and
applying for many jobs, she got what she wanted.

Also most prospective employers will not look favourably on someone who has claimed benefits for months rather than going out and getting a job!

[AIBUYESYES]

We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

You are saying that it's hard to feed one more adult living at home?
And surely her laundry can go into the wash with yours.

[Rowen32]

@drivinmecrazy

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

This will be contentious but I was never charged living costs by my parents - any money I earned was for me and to save. I plan on doing the same with mine, I think the world is hard enough without my children feeling they don't have me for support when they need it. It sounds like your daughter is doing all that she can, in my view our parental responsibilities don't end just because our children grow up..

[TheMarzipanDildo]

@drivinmecrazy

In answer to others, she worked until October and came home when her uni accommodation ended so gave her that time to sort out her CV and get her head together.
She is now applying for local jobs while doing a few online courses and building up her art portfolio and writing.
Her degree is in English literature and Spanish so knows she has skills, just trying to make them relevant for the real world.
She really struggled in her final year with her mental health (who doesn't!) so she's really getting her act together.
I'll get her to look into UC

That sounds great, good on her

[80s]

The unemployment rate in Spain is currently about 33%, one of the highest in the EU.
How's the unemployment rate among native-speaker EFL teachers?

[BadNomad]

If she only quit her job in Oct, she might be not be entitled to much UC yet because she voluntarily made herself unemployed. It's still worth claiming. They will tell her if she's being sanctioned and if so for how long.

[Nowdontmakeamess]

YABU. Why should taxpayers fund your daughter rather than her own parents? She could have found a job by now, there are many industries desperate for workers eg carers, hospitality etc. If she is choosing to spend her time doing courses/art etc that is a luxury most independent adults don’t have. It has to be funded somehow, so she either faces the reality of being an adult and gets any part time job or you continue supporting her.

This country is in an absolute financial mess because people can’t take responsibility for themselves. Benefits are not infinite, and can only be funded by enough people paying tax.

[Arrrrrrragghhh]

@drivinmecrazy

Orangegato that's my point, what if she didn't have us.
Obviously even entry level jobs she's looking at mean she'll be staying to pay back her student loan hopefully quite soon.
I'm so pleased I'm past all this. It's really hitting home what a torrid time that younger generations are having to endure.
Naively never really given it much more than lip service previously

What? Its not a torrid time to be young!!I
Its literally a casual/short term dream job market with vacancies galore. And there UC which requires very little in the way of effort or proof.
No internet or LinkedIn in my day. You only need a online CV which is hundred times easier to tweak than our old paper ones.
She'll be fine.
Lots of vacancies for English teachers if all else fails.

[AIBUYESYES]

I think you are very wrong to both facilitate trying to get benefits (which comes across as for your own purse) and not make her wake up to reality.

You say she has funds for her social life ..well, in the real world some people's social lives take a hit if they don't have a job or enough money.

You should be doing all you can to help her find a job (any job not the dream job) not apply for benefits.

Also, she needs to open her eyes and get a reality check about copywriting and publishing in London.

Both my DCs worked in London and lived there for a long time but not on the sort of income she would get in copywriting/publishing. Her salary just wouldn't stretch to that.

[Catspyjamas17]

Did she not have a job while she did her degree or while doing A-Levels who would have her back?

I had shop, bar and office work experience by the time I graduated, signed up to an agency and got temp admin office work straight away. And the job market was far worse in the 1990s than it is at the moment. Then I save up a bit of money, moved to London, flatshare with a friend of a friend and didn't have a job, but had a temp job within a couple of days and did temping until I got something permanent, and eventually after a year something that was more along the career path that I wanted. I didn't expect to waltz into my dream job.

[BloodAndFire]

No one is going to be interested in her art portfolio or writing btw. (I worked in publishing for several years during/after university.)