To expect MIL to put some pyjama bottoms on on?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I genuinely don't know. I had a thread about her staying with us the other day...she's 75 and has sold her house and is meant to be looking for another. She goes to bed but then gets up a few times...normal things...back and to the kitchen for a drink or to the bathroom whatever. Bur she's always wearing a t shirt and knickers...and it's not a long nightie type t shirt but one that just sits above her knickers.

I find this so...invasive or something. I just dont want to see MIL in her knickers. However...I am admittedly a bit of a prude sometimes.

Should I say something or not? Jokingly maybe?

I’d find it a bit odd and although annoying (for want of a better word), I’d also be a bit concerned. Is she ‘ok’ otherwise, looking after herself etc. Is it a bit out of character for her to tootle around the house semi clothed?

It could be worse, it could be FIL coming down for Brekkies in his leopard-print thong...

... again. 😳

My MIL used to change into a sarong (with one closure/easy to billow open) and her undies immediately on arrival at every visit. Very very odd.

I don't do that in front of my own kids and I'm a long way off 75!
Get her a dressing gown and tell her DH is embarrasssed - if she says he shouldn't be then you need to go a step further and tell her you're not comfortable with it too.

I'd laugh and tell her she looks like a potty-training toddler

Can't imagine walking around in a T-shirt and knickers in this weather. Turn your heating off OP!!

Gross. Would not want to be eyeballing my MILs vulva

Why would you?

DS1 is going on 12 and still wanders round after a shower starkers. In fact he gets undressed downstairs if he is having a shower! For some it really isn't a big deal.

We didn't think anything of being naked in front of DDs when they were younger or them in front of us, but at some point they stopped being ok with it so we respected their feelings.

And that's fine. But we've not reached that point

@Catspyjamas17 What??? We’re fine with bare bodies in this house and yes, the older teens don’t walk around flashing their bodies but I wouldn’t think twice of going to the loo in the night in just vest and knickers and the boys in just their boxers. Some people just grow up in different households to others.

Why it gross within your own family?
I always thought we were more modest than most (thinking about threads where people use the toilet in front of others) but we see each other in our underwear.
I'm not parading around, just maybe popping to the bathroom in my underwear to brush my teeth or fetch something, or I get undressed in my room and go to the bathroom to have a shower.

Or I'll put on a vest and go down to make tea.

I guess it boils down to what people are comfortable with. If my teenage son said he felt uncomfortable I would put another layer on.

Knickers should cover your vulva. Don't yours?

You could perhaps buy her a nice long dressing gown to wear. I wouldn't want to see an old person traipsing about as you've described

I'd make light of it and buy her a lovely fluffy dressing gown.

I'd say 'here you are- it's so cold and well, you know, DH isn't used to seeing so much flesh.'

I'm sure you didn't intend it to be funny but the bluntness of this made me laugh.

she's wearing knickers, not lying on her back legs apart.

I personally wouldn't but it wouldn't bother me if MIL did this between her room and the bathroom. As long as it wasn't in the living room in front of others, I couldn't care to be honest

If it didn’t bother my husband, then it wouldn’t bother me. It’s not like she’s doing it to be sexy in front of her son and her daughter in law. Everything's covered. Different story if was a sexy and pert bummed 21 year old with an unusual lust for your middle aged man.

Wouldn't bother me as long as nothings falling out

😂😂

I didn't understand the swimming costume comments either....surely on the beach/pool that's fine but wandering round the house?

I'm in the 'inappropriate camp'

So infront of loads of people fine.. not even really in front of family... Not fine?

I am really struggling with the logic

I never wear a bra. They're so uncomfortable.

@BillHadersNewWife At least she doesn't actually have her wanny out.

It’s not a hard concept. It’s acceptable to dress a certain way in certain places, not in other places. It’s not always about levels of nudity. A boiler suit for example, perfectly fine for working on an oil rig, not acceptable to wear to a wedding (even though you’re just as covered up).

It would be rude if a man wanted to wander around other people’s homes in his pants and he’d probably be accused of being a pervert

MIL's not a man - unless there's an epic drip feed coming.

It's in a house. That she lives in. It's also not a hard concept to realise other people are different and I find it perfectly reasonable to go down to make a brew in my pants and t shirt and not ever wear a bra